Fundamental elements required for a safe, healthy, successful and...

This blog is based on the concept of what make the key fundamental elements of a healthy, safe and successful Dom/sub (D/s) relationship or dynamic based on my personal experiences. As I said, these are my personal views but they have been formed over ten years of experience in kink/domination scenarios along with knowledge gained from interacting with Doms and sub from across the globe continually during this time, Doms and subs that have found their perfect (or near perfect) partners while following these simple guidelines.

 

I shall be looking at the following elements which include; open, honest and frank communication, mutual trust, mutual respect and also acceptance and tolerance (which ties in with mutual respect). This list is non-exhaustive and is intended as a potential guide from the voice of experience, reason and common sense.

 

Open, Honest and Frank Communication: This is an area that is often ignored or deemed unnecessary by many in the kink/domination community to the peril of their dynamics. Communication is vital in making sure that both the Dom and sub can voice their desires, limits, likes, dislikes, expectations and so on. Communication needs to be open, free-flowing, honest and sometimes brutally honest. An example from not long ago that happened to me personally is where I was not permitted to speak my mind regarding basic issues, I wished to set basic boundaries however due to the other party's demeanour it proved to be extremely difficult for me to be open with them and this potential dynamic didn't last past 48 hours. With another example of a dynamic I was in, the communication channels were open, honest and free-flowing and this dynamic ran for several years until both of us realised that our needs had altered with time and we now proved to be unable to satisfy each other the way we previously could which is a natural progression, our dynamic which was passionate and immensely pleasing had now run it natural course and we are still very good friends with each other. 

 

Mutual Trust: While it is undeniable that a sub should be able to trust their Dom/me, this trust is earned and also the Dom/me needs to be able to trust his/her sub also. It takes time to develop trust in someone and the rate at which the trust develops varies from individual to individual, for example, Eric Erickson developed a theory which looked at the psychosocial development of humans beings and the first step was trust vs mistrust, if I as an ****** was neglected then I would be less trusting of others and would take me a longer time to develop this trust that others seem to develop faster. If the trust is slow to develop then be patient, it can't be rushed. The trust also needs to be mutual and can be damaged also, If a sub cannot trust their Dom then there will be little hope of the dynamic progressing, the trust just doesn't come into effect when engaging in a scene, the trust needs to be continuous, it's all well and good to trust your Dom to hold your leash but once that collar comes off can you trust them to still be there? If yes then you can accept that as a good indication that you have a good relationship with your Dom. From the perspective of a Dom, can you trust your sub to be respectful of your limits and boundaries, can you trust them to obey you and likewise once the collar comes off can you trust your sub to still remain by your side when you need them external to a scene? The trust should be mutual for the sake of both Dom and sub.

 

Mutual Respect: This area cannot be understated, mutual respect is a key component to any successful dynamic. When first venturing into kink and domination an individual may be excused for not immediately seeing the mutual element here, however, the respect that a Dom has for his sub is crucial. Although it may look like there is a lack of respect from the Dom to his sub the respect is evident once you delve deeper into trying to understand domination. While the respect and reverence of subs to their Doms is evident, or usually is evident there should also be respect from the Doms to their subs in the form of respecting their subs wishes, desires, likes, dislikes, limits etc. I was in a dynamic previously where the Dom would not respect my limits, dislikes, likes etc and when this element is missing it becomes more abuse than dominance, this is something that took me years to realise, as a sub it is okay to say no, if anything it shows maturity, self respect and competency when a sub can stand up and say that they need these elements respected as to let this slide will damage the sub, I speak from personal experience and hurts when saying this. While I have emphasised the importance of the sub being respected it is also important that the Dom has their limits, desires etc respected too, ultimately this is a relationship of sorts between two individuals and both deserve to have respect, even if it is hidden behind the crack of a whip. As a Dom, you may not be interested in certain kinks which are perfectly normal and natural but the same must be said for a sub. If you are into having your boots licked clean but a sub does not wish to do so as it is not one of their kinks then respect this too, they are not necessarily a bad sub because they don’t share the same fetishes as you. Likewise for subs, if a Dom doesn’t wish to fulfil your desire for a certain kink because they are not into that particular fetish then respect this too, just because they feel uncomfortable canning your ass until it bleeds doesn’t mean that they are a bad Dom, at the end of the day we are all people and we all have different interests and this should be respected. The respect for each other shouldn’t be limited to just kinks, for example I am not into pain nor am I into being called a fag or a faggot (the irony is not lost on me that I am on a site called ownedfags but nevertheless), I am also not into objectification, I feel that if a Dom I am serving has multiple subs then it is only fair that I have the option to serve multiple Doms if I choose and I am not overly submissive by any stretch of the imagination, however, I do have a foot and boot fetish, I do have submissive tendencies, I do like to serve financially and I do like to adore other men. If I am with a Dom who does not respect this then I will not serve them as I know we would be incompatible. However when the kinks align and are respected then there is the potential for a mind-blowingly amazing dynamic which can alter your perception of kink and dominance, I know it did for me.

 

Acceptance and Tolerance: This very much ties in with the previous topics discussed. A good dynamic flourishes when a Dom can accept his sub including all of the subs strong and weak characteristics and is able to tolerate the shortcomings (we are all human, none of us are perfect and we all have shortcomings, what we need is acceptance and tolerance from those we allow into our lives). Likewise, a sub will realise that although they mayT worship the ground their Dom walks on their Dom will have a past too and this is something the sub needs to accept and tolerate also. If a Dom or sub fails to fully accept their partner with all their pros and cons they will fail to accept the amazing person that they are with, it is unfortunate but this does happen. If you are not accepted or you cannot accept your partner you should ask yourself, is this really the Dom or sub for you?

 

Conclusion:To conclude, the topics discussed are all interrelated it’s hard to have good communication without respecting one another's views, having a trusting dynamic that leads to good communication or having a fear of rejection due to a lack of acceptance, likewise it is difficult to meet the good communication without respecting each other, when there is a lack of acceptance, a lack of trust resulting in your partner not being able to open up or a lack tolerance for one another. It is crucial that these simple yet important elements are met even though it will undoubtedly take some work to build the trust, respect and therefore the open channels of communication and the acceptance that is necessary. All this will contribute to building a very solid foundation on which a phenomenal dynamic can be built, a dynamic which could have the potential to completely change you and your life for the better. While venturing down this exciting and often scary path please try to meet these aspects and above all, keep safe.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog and I hope you have found it useful and informative.

 

Best wishes

Hardys_slave

Begging at the Stable Door

So, finally, the beggar has come to the stable door. It’s been a short journey, and he’s stumbled a few times, and he’s been kicked into the gutter once or twice, but he’s dragged himself out, looked up, crawled forwards and persevered.

 

He reaches out and pulls the handle, but the stable doors won’t open. They are bolted shut. The beggar can see a sign. It says: ‘Pay for Paradise Faggot’.

 

The beggar confidently checks his pockets, he only needs to find 400 tips. He pulls out an empty cigarette packet. He finds his trusty harmonica. He smiles as he pulls out a dog collar used in happier days, and unfortunately his fingers get stuck to an old, half-eaten mint wedged in the depths of his pocket.

 

No tips! Not a single one! Beggar slumps against the Stable Door. He was so close. He takes off his cap and lays it on the ground, he puts his harmonica to his lips, and plays a happy and slightly desperate tune. Hopefully someone generous will drop a few tips into Beggar’s cap…

We always remember and appreciate the great ones

Simple truths often forgotten:

Both slaves and masters keep telling Me I should make more training material for them, and the more time goes by and the more bizarre and unfitting behavior I witness take place on both sides, the clearer it becomes that you all still have a lot of work to do to get to the most ideal place.

I have quite a few great slaves and every time a new one appears, I am grateful to be reminded that there are so many more who remember the real rules of conduct, do it traditionally, neatly and cleanly, and do what they do without any drama or incident. Ones who know their limits, who they are, what they need, what they have to offer, and are balanced and mature about it.

A great slave is always attentive and respectful, is open to being molded by a master in his own image (God creates you in his image, and turns you into what he wants you to be to best suit him). Selfishness, whining, resistance, shyness, silence, apprehensiveness, bitterness and malice are all traits that no master ever has time for. Real slaves know this. They also know that they can serve and be useful without making a big public show of it, because they would much rather have their master brag about them and what they did, than brag about their own acts of service to him. Give us a reason to do that. Make us proud. And so many of my slaves do, which is why I mention that here.

It is great to have such easy and seamless experiences with slaves who actually get it and are not the freaks and trolls that everyone keeps saying are all over the place. Slaves know that they don't always need recognition and attention and feedback for doing what they do, which is why they are constantly serving and paying Me on their own without being prodded. They are thoughtful by nature and have their own motivations and take pride in what they do for Me, and so they should.

This site is centered around climbing the ladder of popularity, and sharing media content, but there is so much more to this scene than that. I don't often share my experiences or publicize them here because I don't feel it's necessary to - I take for granted that everyone is doing what they know they should. Everyone is here on a fin-dom site, to serve or be served, and in a way it is that simple. Has a faggot made your life easier or better today, as is their function and sole purpose in life? Has a master presented himself on this site, spoken to something in you, and inspired you to serve him? Those are the only questions you need to ask yourself when you're here, when it all comes down to it.

Masters are here to be properly uplifted by the underclass of thoughtful, doting servants. Yet I keep seeing behavior in this scene that makes it clear that some slaves have forgotten this. Speaking for myself and all masters at the same time, we are not here to "do" things for you necessarily. Only display our power in different ways. You are seeing us and seeing/feeling our power all the time, it has resonated with you and that is why you have approached us in the first place. Feel that power and trust it, and submit yourself to it, instead of feeling fear and selfishness, focusing on what a master can do for you, and thinking to yourself that your service in return is a foregone conclusion, or that what you will end up doing for Me will be satisfactory. They end up assuming what we are going to want, and telling themselves they are up for it, and then eventually end up being disappointing in the results they generate because they were not up to the task. This is why I have said over and over again that it is important for fags to simply forget themselves in that way and not look at this transactionally, and instead, spend more time listening. Trust and have faith that you will get what you need from a master, and you will. We all know exactly how to handle you. You are not all that different from the others, and a great master knows how to listen to what your needs are and show what you are picturing in your head, showing that we were that person you were dreaming about the entire time. That your fantasies are there for a valid reason, because Men like that DO exist. That what you need and feel is indeed possible to experience for real, because of Us. That is part of our power. Masters can do that, and anything, better than anyone.

Legit slaves are tapped into all this and don't need any of it to be explained to them. They read this and just nod the whole time, acknowledging how true this really is for them. True to life and to their experience. They know masters are here as gifts, only to be treasured, obeyed, celebrated, worshipped, doted on, thought of daily, to be worked for, and to be paid early and often, and that when they do this, they actually get even more from their masters back. They know the burden of proof and service is on them, to get a master to sit up and take notice, to remember them, from the blur of passing faces that appear throughout a master's life. They are OK with that burden and go through life acknowledging it. I speak for all masters too when I say how grateful we are that these slaves who really get it are there and do everything they can for us daily.

How could we not be? They know that is their only purpose and the only path to happiness and any kind of fulfillment for them. They know they cannot go through life not needing it or not acknowledging it, and that to deny it would be to deny their very core selves. They are clear about that and live that life, and Masters may not always show appreciation in the exact way a slave would want, but they know deep down that what they do doesn't go unnoticed (unless its a payment you made at three in the morning when I was resting and wasn't checking my email - in that case show off what you did the following day). So, slaves live that way and embrace that, in the same way Masters go through life taking ownership of their natural power and using it for and against others and generally subjugating everyone and everything around them with it. We wouldn't have all that power and perfection if we couldn't handle it or didn't know how to use it, and part of being a Master naturally in life means fully embracing and embodying that. Which slaves are thankful for too. Even if they don't always say they are. I always laugh so hard at the bullshit and hypocrisy when I see faggots and male feminists talk about how Real Men are not needed in any aspect of life, and then end up on these sites only to sell out their false beliefs, giving in to what they know is true. Paying lip service to liberals and feminism and pretending to be "progressive" yet knowing the truth deep down and being unable to ignore it: that We rule the world, always have, and always will. Those of us who understand that basic premise, masters and slaves on both sides, can be grateful to each other for that frank honesty, and each in turn doing what they know needs to be done and will be done no matter who the participants are.

This scene can produce some pretty bizarre interactions and behavior, but at the end of the day, everyone does exactly what they are naturally driven to. Fags will be better off and have much more satisfying experiences if they get proper training, are in the right mindset, and become like the slaves I have that I am grateful exist every day to live for Me. It takes patience to train and fags need to develop more patience too, to walk before they run, but they know they are going to have a way better and easier time if they are more trusting and faithful. Masters are always grateful for proper slaves - never for shitty troll-like ones who are freaks and who don't get it. You know? Don't be that homo. Get rid of your bitterness or hangups or whatever it is that stops you from having an awesome time at this, enriching your life and that of your master(s). Because all of that stuff needs to get out of the way in order for you to live better and with more purpose in serving. You know how empty and boring and pointless your life is when you don't have a master in it, one who is engaging and provides real benefits for you and your life. You know that already. So, be like the good ones that we are all thankful for, and not one of the ones we wish we hadn't talked to and ended up deleting.

It's really that easy, people. I don't *really* need to explain this to you.

-It's Master KM, bitchez!

Accepting Limitations

Fags and slaves, we all have our reasons for being here. The thrill of the drain, the sweet taste of shame! My reasons are no more unique or complicated than any other person. For me it's all about honourable submission and enriching my life, and I'm aware of the irony in that last statement.


It isn't always easy for a fag to find the man he needs. It's not that we're all flakes and timewasters, the need is real, it's just the journey can be complicated. So, Masters when a fag struggles, don't be angry, be supportive. Don't hate us for uncertainty, don't condemn us because we can't meet expectations, acknowledge that the fag is on a journey and, like you, we stumble from time to time.


In the past couple of weeks I have disappointed and offended good men, men who weren't planning to trick me, or abuse me, but to give me what I claimed to need. I have said and done things that I profoundly regret. However, this site can be compelling, and it has encouraged me to embellishment and exaggeration, in terms or time, tips and truth; however, I'm not shirking my personal responsibilities or guilt.


Last night, I stepped back from Jothecalineur. I stepped back because I was afraid. I wasn't afraid of him, he's a good man and I know that he cares, I was afraid of how far I would go, and the sacrifices I might make. I stumbled badly.


However, with the clarity of a new day, I know what I need and I know what I can offer. So, I have asked Jothecalineur to take me back and he has kindly agreed. We move forwards, but safely and honestly, acknowledging limitations so that this journey can also be an enriching adventure.

Fag Training

As many of You know by now, i have been released by Master Beardeddom and am now a free fag.  The decision to set me free was not an easy one for my Master to make but He did it in the best interest of this fag.  Outside circumstances have limited His time on the site and He no longer felt that He could provide the proper training that this fag requires and deserves.  As a fag, i fully respect His decision and admire His fortitude for my welfare and training.  This has left me in a state of both excitement and apprehension.  Although i will miss the security and guidance He provided, i look forward to meeting New Masters and am confident that the new experiences that await me will help to further my training and help to improve my performance as a dutiful fag.  That said, i will be taking **** steps and moving at my own steady pace as i enter these uncharted waters.  Recently, i have received many requests and invitations from both Masters and fags alike.  While i greatly appreciate all of this support and attention, please bear with me as i move forward in the next phase of my growth and development.  There will be plenty of time (and tips) for all of You!  Also, regardless of who i serve and tribute, Master Beardeddom will always have a special place in my life and in my heart as He was and always will be my #1 Master!  i wish Him all the best and will never stop supporting Him whether i serve in His stable or not.  Please continue to respect Him and His decisions.  As for me, i am ready to step forward into the abyss that is my future and see where this next phase of my growth and training take me!  i thank each and every one of You in advance for Your support and guidance as this new chapter of my training starts to unfold.  Now, let the games begin!

where i belong

i just want to share a few thoughts with all of you.......i was here once a while ago (months...maybe a year).....and was in Master Jothecalineur's stable......at the time this was all new to me and i felt i couldn't serve my best even though my Master kept me in line and said what a good job i was doing....i have been a sub/slave for a very long time online.....real time.....i know "who" i am and "why" i am here on this earth.....i am a slave that needs to worship a Master/Sir/DOM.....please him and do my best everyday.....and yes there will be times when Master isn't happy.....but he will be pleased daily.......i am thankful that this site exists for all of us..... Masters/Sirs/DOMS and my fellow slaves/subs....it is such a pleasure waking up knowing my purpose and that someone is there ready to use me the way i should be to pleasure Master's self.....which in turn give me pleasure to keep going on......for all of you slaves/subs that are new to this site.......keep moving forward on here your Master totally understands and enjoy your life as it was meant for you


and mostly......i thank my Master for allowing me back in his stable......i love you Master Jothecalineur.....you are the best thing that has happened to me by allowing me back.....

State Your Purpose

How would you go out of your way to prove yourself loyal to a prince?


I need a slave that will give me everything. Surrender only to me. Serve only me. 


Worship me like I am their GOD, sacrifice all they have and surrender their will to me. 


Beg like the dog they are for me to acknowledge their very existence. 


Tip me, gratify my tastes and spoil me with your affection. 


Beg me to let them stop a humiliating task... I let them,  then I give them a more humiliating task to take its place. Perhaps its cleaning the bottom of my shoes with their undeserving tongue... But now, since they begged to stop, I make them to use that tongue to clean my toilet. It makes me hard to see them humiliate themselves. I play with myself and they watch. Until I tell them they have to stop watching me until the task I give them is complete. 


I show no mercy. There is no mercy to a slave.


IF... If you dare, state your purpose.


Tell me why I should consider letting you be my slave. Then show me. 

Mental Mind Fuck

We start chatting, you find me to be a strong and noble master and beg to be my slave, after heavy tipping and convincing I accept. We chat for hours, maybe daily or weekly. I make you work to keep conversing with me or seeing me. You become hooked on me. Worship me like a prince, and tip me like I'm your favorite porn star. Then, I start ignoring you. I'll give you one word responses. Make you feel like you are less and less important each passing day. I only check in once and a while. The next time we meet or speak is intense. Things start to go back to normal, and then I start to tell you about all the other men I've been with and what we've done and what I've made them do. But... I give you no orders, and have never given you orders like I have to these others. Make you insanely jealous. I tell you that I don't feel you are worthy of enough of my time or thoughts to even degrade you like I have the others. I make you humiliate yourself and tell me how worthless you are, and make you tip and beg to near mental exhaustion. I tell you you're not good enough for me. You're not as obedient. You're not worthy enough. It drives you mad. I change my tune. I'm suddenly making all your darkest fantasies, maybe even nightmares come alive. You're afraid and turned on and disgusted. But, you need more. Without notice, I cut you off again. The cycle repeats out of order. So you never know what will set me off or keep my attention. You're too hooked on me to move on. You're mine. 

Day One- Day one Suspense



you arrive at the Gaylord a typical slave with typical wants and desires. you’ll pick up your room key and proceed to your room around 0800. Filled with nerves you wait for My arrival. My intentions were to say I would be there at 0900 but show around 1000. However now that you are aware I’ll have to switch it up. I like to make my pets feel insignificant, almost afraid they were set up from the beginning and then that you hear a hard knock on the door, one which radiates your entire body. Once you open the door the will I stand in my NWUs and thick boots. I love day one the best. It where I can introduce the most pain to you. you see, I’ll step into the room and throw down My backpack full of supplies and command you to lay face up on the bed. My deep voice shakes your weak pathetic body and all you can do is submit. While I’m binding you to the bedframe I’ll give you simple instructions. Count backwards from 100 in increments of seven. you’d look puzzled. you stare blankly at the ceilings while I unpack My bag. your slave mind can’t even imagine why a God like me would ask this simple task of you but then you feel it. A hard deep slap alongside your pressure point which radiates immense pain. You stop counting and I yell louder, DONT STOP COUNTING! Then you realize what Iraq soldiers realized long ago, this is a trick to keep the mind sane as you feel each pain as if it was new. Soon you would be pleading begging me to STOP but I simply wont until you reach 0. You finally reached 0 and is filled with a overwhelming relief. This is when I say, “I lied, one more time, from 100.” You beg and plead as I begin a new and as each time I strike my dick becomes rock hard, leaking like an neglected faucet down My thighs. You faint, I’ll wait for you to respond. Rinse and repeat. For its the first day and for today you will learn your place under Me. you don’t eat. you don’t drink. you don’t sleep. Ever waking minute will be of Me. Until the next day arrives and I fall into My deep sleep leaving you relieve to be out of so much pain. you’ll thank Me for releasing you. I say praise Me and you can’t stop and wont stop because their is one underlining fear which is pronounce over all else branded inside your brain. “From 100!”

Piss in your mouth

My normal life routine with my fags , use them as a toilet then play with them
I have huge legs and all my power will make any fag pass out
The most enjoyable thing that when I sit on tiny fag face with my 300 lbs I enjoying hear fag can not get enough air when he is sucking my shit hole
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