Reluctance. The creeping hesitation that paralyzes you between taking the leap of faith, and staying stuck in sad frustration. It occurs in all of U/us, but especially in the frail frightened minds of beta boys. New arrivals worry that they do not belong. Experienced senders worry they've gone too far, or for too long, that they should finally leave the scene. There is always a voice in the back of your mind telling you not to. That voice is why I am writing this post today.
Deference. It is a word you almost never hear in kink. s********n, worship, sacrifice, tribute, selflessness, obedience, eager, pathetic, humiliating... of all the descriptors that float around this community, you seldom hear of deference. Why is that? Well, it's an uncommon word, but it so concisely captures how a sub should behave. It is *the* word, if I were to pick only one. If subs should strive for a single trait, it would be deference. So what does it mean? Respect, politeness — yes. Submissive obedience as well. Acquiescence. It is deferring to your Superior, in a noun. It is the embodiment of your Alpha knowing what is best, always. It is the sub trusting its Master.
All too often, and expectedly so, subs will stutter and say, "I'm not sure", "I don't know if I can", and so many other same-sounding apprehensions. Now, don't get Me wrong, you can say whatever you wish to say. But know that in this reticence, you show your Alpha that you do not trust Him, and His vast experience. So, the next time these demons creep up when your Alpha is pushing you within your established limits...
Let go of your reluctance, and trust the latter instead.
Be better. Be different. Be deferent.
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