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How to Grow in s********n: Saving, Earning, Selling, Sending.
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

by DorianTheAlpha


Now, I will preface in saying this is My opinion, though one I know it is shared across hundreds of Superiors. That said, you may well find a Master that views s********n differently than I describe here. If so, I weep for you because you'll never know the bliss of true sacrifice to serve your Master's pleasure.


Let's begin by listing off the excuses so many pretenders enjoy bleating to Masters Who've heard these tired lines a thousand times before:

- i am student/jobless right now, but i can serve You in other ways.

- i want to send to You, but i need to trust You first.

- i might be open to sending, but financial domination is not My primrary kink.

- i was mistreated by a previous Alpha, i need to recover before i can worship You.

- i have no money to send, but i can be Your promo/task slave.


If this is you: you are the worst kind of wasted space in findom and kink as a whole. These aren't reasons; they're excuses. Do better. Redefine yourself to serve His pleasure first and solely.


There are countless others, equally transparent, equally boring, equally self-branding "block me: i'm a waste of time".


This article is meant as instruction, and as motivation. Like all habits, starting with a few easy steps will lead to  undertaking the harder ones. In time, you can be the best slave you can be by incorporating all of these and more. Internalize the spirit of these habits to truly devote the entirety of yourself to your Master.


1. Work harder, smarter, longer. 

Secure a raise or bonus? That portion goes to your Master. Great night of tips? Those are Alpha's. Win a payout, lottery, jackpot, raffle, contest? Guess whose: your Owner, silly pet. Get a second job, or third, gigging: Uber, tutoring. Suck cock if you can get paid for guzzling cum in your Master's name. Be creative, and proactive.


2. Cut back on luxuries and indulgences. 

Don't buy meals out. Meal prep, and make that coffee/tea at home. Skip the steak, and eat chicken or beans. Fast intermittently if your health allows it. d***k less, or not at all. Only Alpha Men consume fine spirits; you get hooch if anything. Forget about tobacco, weed, parties: they are revelries for Superior Males. Designer labels, latest tech, new toys of any kind... these have no place in a cash slave's world.


3. Simplify your lifestyle.

Forget the Uber: walk, bike or commute. Don't bother with a flagship smartphone when a budget model will do. Take cold showers and reduce your heating/AC to send your Master those savings. Workout? Cancel that gym membership, and go train outside. Sell your appliances and wash your dishes and/or clothes by hand. Which leads Me too...


4. Sell your valuables.

Collectibles: magazines, comic books, video games, watches, vintage items, etc. Jewelry, needless gadgets, vehicles, sex toys (looking at you sissies). Anything you are guilty of from #2, sell — that's a simple starting point. What feels more right: you owning $1,000+ of superficial goods you could do without, or placing that cash into your Master's powerful hands, where it belongs?


I have likely missed ideas here. What matters is starting small, being accountable to improve through sacrifice, communicating your commitments to your Master, and most or all: sending as soon as you have cash to do so. The longer your Master's money stays with you, the lazier you are being, slave.


Read, act, send. Or pretend that you are already doing "enough" for your Alpha, as if that is even possible.


We always deserve more...

Findom Approach: The Abridged Version
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

by DorianTheAlpha


I have an older post that delves into this in greater detail. Consider this a pocket version.


When you are first approaching an Alpha you want to serve:


1. Send before speaking. Even if only 50 tips. A gesture to prove you're serious, and selfless.


2. Know your Master. Likes, dislikes, style of domination, expectations.


3. Speak clearly, and learn quickly. Always over-communicate unless He says otherwise.


4. Set your limits with Him, and respect His. Within that, obey. Always.


5. Be proactive & creative. Plan, save, earn, send more and please Him however you can.


--


The full version explores these and more in greater detail, but follow these five steps and thrive for your Master.

Apology: How To
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

by DorianTheAlpha


Newcomers and seasoned subs alike... every pet makes mistakes.


It might be a simple slip-up, or a catastrophic failure. 


The next time you misstep in your s********n to an Alpha,

follow these steps to find your way back into their best graces.


How to apologize in findom:


1. Send.


2. Admit your mistake, earnestly.


3. Correct the problem to avoid recurrence.


4. If forgiven, thank your Master profusely.


If that doesn't work, repeat. Chances are you didn't do step 1 quite enough.


Best of luck My little pets.

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub

by DorianTheAlpha


It has been a long time since I’ve written a blog post. I try not to retread the same old thoughts I have covered before here; I invite you to read my other entries on topics like tips for newcomer subs, newcomer Masters, among other themes in kink. Today we will address something unfortunately ever-present in power exchange: submissive toxicity. 


Now, let me say at the outset: this does not suggest Masters are not also at fault sometimes. It is possible for Doms to be toxic too. That is a post for another day. Here, I address common behaviours that all subs show at some point — these are signs you are being toxic. A good sub can have a toxic moment. Even the best owned subs slip up. It does not mean you cannot improve. Instead, use this as a reminder to be better. Grow & learn constantly to serve your Master as best you can. These are in no particular order, though personally I would say those highest on the list are the most egregious.


1. Doxxing & Hostility

To dox someone is to reveal their real identity online. If you even feel the hint of an urge to do this: don’t. Never threaten violence, or be hostile. If you feel that level of anger & aggression do to some slight in kink or your dynamic: walk away. This space is not for you if you cannot handle its intensity. Many people here keep their kink lives separate & secret from their career, family, and personal sphere. Any kind of hostile act towards your Dom, any Alpha, or any member of this community is unacceptable. This one should be self-evident.


2. Illegality

Many illegal actions are desirable. Substances, sex acts, even demographics. Regardless, never suggest or bring illegal activities to your Alpha. For some, sex work is their full-time career. For others like myself, this is a supplementary outlet to express my dominant self. When you suggest illegal things, you jeopardize that space. Deviant fun can be legal and still be plenty daring. 


3. Topping from the Bottom

This is when a sub attempts to exert their desires and demands onto their Dominant. It reverses the power exchange: the Master is instead performing a “dominance fantasy” according to the conditions of their submissive role-play leader. Hence, topping from the bottom. This is the worst form of selfishness. Now, you can have submissive desires. And especially with single session play, it is important to voice them to your Dominant. However, in power exchange, your role is to please your Alpha first and foremost. If you have desires, there is a correct way to communicate them. That is not topping from the bottom. So speak properly, humbly, and when in doubt defer to your Master. Don’t be a selfish twat.


4. Inability to Handle Drop

This is most applicable to financial domination, but applies to other intense forms of session play like pain certain sex play. Drop, or sub drop, is a form of guilt and regret that can be all-consuming after intense sessions. In the throes of submissive obedience, you may send more or suffer more than you expected. Some of your limits may be tested. This leads to a lurching depression for many who are new to the feeling. It is your responsibility to manage it. Many Alphas offer guidance, aftercare, and compassion. Some do not. It is not our job to be your therapist. I personally tend to do so, but it is wrong to expect it from your Dominant. This is an adult space, between consenting parties. Behave as such.


5. Jealousy

If I need to explain this one at length, you are the problem. Do not be jealous another sub is sending more, receiving more time with your Alpha, getting more attention in the chat. This is about Alpha pleasure. If you are envious of others, work harder & serve better to achieve those same goals. Better yet, find the maturity to realize that you should only measure yourself against your own servitude.


6. Submissive Poaching

This is a rare case, but does sometimes happen. Never poach other owned subs from another Master to come and serve your Alpha. This is the equivalent of an Alpha poaching a sub; it is no better and just as atrocious. If a sub is unhappy, that is between them and their Master to resolve. An owned dynamic (as defined on the site; not “grey/open” dynamics etc) should always be treated with utmost sanctity and respect. Even between owned subs.


7. Nuisance

Owned or new, don’t be a dick (or a little s**t). There is a reason this is one of the tenets of the chat room, and it extends to private conversation. Don’t play dumb. Don’t be a brat, or rude. Many Masters will converse and dominate subs who have little to send, but speak soundly and offer entertaining banter. Don’t be a nuisance.


8. Over-investing

This is a two-parter, and both matter equally. Do not invest more financially here than you can afford. Doing so is on you if it happens. Never blame your Alpha for your own lack of self-control. Secondly, do not over-invest emotionally. Some Masters dominate with sexual overlap, and sometimes even romantic overlap. This is still kink in power exchange. Don’t let your M/s get messy. Don’t over-invest.


9. Deletion & Relapse

This isn’t even necessarily that annoying, it is just so predictable. Subs who can’t manage the above, generally are those who delete, and come back crawling under some new pseudonym. The relapsers. I suppose it helps that you pay a join fee each time you create an account here. Still, it’s transparent, and laughable. Best avoided if you hope to be a sub in good standing here among Alphas and your fellow subs.


10. Manipulation

The last point here is a broad stroke generalization for all the gaslighting, excuse-making, and other such vapid waste that subs spew in their squabbles with an Alpha. This isn’t a relationship of peers. This isn’t a negotiation. This is kink, s********n, and servitude to your Master. We have heard it all, and we see your pathetic tricks coming a mile away. Save it. 


Avoid these my sweet pets if you do not want to be a toxic sub to your Master.

Serve well, and to my Dominant readers, stay powerful gents. Comments and questions, as always, are welcome.

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Dom
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Dom

by DorianTheAlpha


I just wrote one of these about toxic subs. I often hear from subs that it is a tricky thing to criticize those on the dominant half of this community. All too often, those comments are dismissed or even derided, because they are just "slaves", and should shut their trap. So, to that end, as an olive branch of sorts, I've considered some things I have seen firsthand from the worst among Alphas both here and elsewhere in financial domination and kink. If you are regularly guilty of these, you are a toxic Dom. I have done more than one of these, and more than once. I have certainly had my toxic moments, especially early on while cocky and still learning the ropes. Recognize your faults and your failures, and use this as a guide to not only be better as a Master to your submissives, but as a member of this community.


1. Doxxing & Hostility 

This one is the same; it cuts both ways. No Dominant entrusted with their sub’s information should ever reveal those details, or act negligently with it. True b*******l is a crime (extortion). The idea of ruin/homewrecking fantasies is acceptable when practiced responsibly and consensually, but all too often that kink is done wrong, and puts real lives in harm’s way. If you cannot dominate responsibly and without hostility, then leave. That isn’t power, that’s pathetic. There is no place for that here on this site or anywhere in findom & kink communities.

 

2. Poaching

Don’t poach subs. Just don’t. It is natural for some subs to want a new Master over time, discover a better fit, etc. These are all relationships at the end of the day. The line can sometimes be blurred, I will admit. But poaching is poaching. And you know when you are doing it. I’ll define it here for those still unclear: do not ever attempt to seek tribute, s********n, or other such favours from an owned sub (as defined on this site by a lock symbol with a Master’s stable to its name). Always speak with that Master first and get their explicit permission if you sense a supplemental fit with a sub, which happens plenty often. Co-ownerships, loan dynamics, and session play are all healthy parts of an owned sub’s fluid servitude with their Master’s approval. Keywords: with their Master’s approval.


3. Disrespect

I’ve been guilty of this one. We all have tempers. Some more than others. There are those here who despise me (and I can be a bit much at times). Regardless: treat your fellow Alphas with respect. Treat subs, within the framework of kinky banter and bdsm, with basic human decency when it matters. Disrespect sucks the fun out of this community, and at the end of the day that is what this is: a community.


4. lllegality

Again, this cuts both ways as with subs: do not suggest illegal acts or substances with your slaves, ever. Especially do not do so on this website, where MOA works so hard to create a safe playground for our collective deviance. People can lose their jobs, their families, their lives. It sounds extreme, but those who have been around long enough know that sadly it happens to even the most experienced among us when things get out of hand, even for only a moment. That’s all it takes. Keep it legal, at all times.


5. Rejection

Much of domination is tied to one’s ego. Success feeds into it. Tribute and luxury lead to the expectation of a certain lifestyle. The comforts in having servants for your every whim & desire is a treat. However, if/when subs decide to leave: that is normal. Most dynamics do not last forever. Most dynamics are single sessions, or short bouts of servitude. A seldom few last longer, for months or years. Learn to handle rejection. Better yet, embrace it, even if that means accepting you don’t cater to everyone. I am the farthest thing from a skinboss, or a gay sex-driven Alpha. I provide an allure to those who want the Master that I am, and the domination that I offer. Simple: subs can say “no”. Deal with it.


6. Burnout 

This might not fit the strictest definition of toxicity, but exhausted Masters tend to be the most impatient, sloppy with their approach, and quick to frustration with their subs. Know yourself, and know when it’s time to take a step back, to rest up. Everyone has their off days. Avoid burnout. We are at our best with all things in balance.


7. Pandering

This, while rare, is the bane of so many Masters’ existence: do not pander to toxic subs. When you indulge topping from the bottom (see my previous post on toxic subs if unclear here), you exacerbate the issue. Whiny twats ought to be disposed for the whiny twats that they are. Nothing more. Deep pockets cause Alphas to abandon their principles for a quick cash grab. Don’t. This is supposed to be fun, kink-driven power exchange. Some might disagree here; say it’s all about the money, no matter what. I say, “it matters what”. And the money is often what makes this fun, when done right. But lowering yourself to a sub’s every whim is not financial domination, and it is the farthest thing from dominant. If anything, it’s supplicant.


8. Sanctimony

The irony of this point following the last is not lost on me. All the same, don’t be a sanctimonious prick. We all generally agree how power exchange & financial domination happens. Some don’t. Some differ on the little things. Just because you see a dynamic occurring in a way distinct from your view of correct etiquette or approach, does not make you the grand arbiter of kink. And if you still feel compelled to comment, then do so kindly & constructively. No one likes a self-righteous absolutist. The range of perspectives & practices is part of why this place is so great. Let’s keep it that way.


9. Maturity

There is a reason that “ch-ild” is a banned word here. Don’t be one. This builds upon the notion of being able to handle submissive rejection; you will have plenty of conflict and friction in practicing all types of domination. Those who have succeeded here longest & most triumphantly continue to do so because they know who they are, they conduct themselves accordingly, and with utmost maturity. Conversely, the worst subs and least admired Doms often earn that reputation quickly because they stir up trouble and are among the least mature here.


10. Patience

This one is two-fold, and many may not agree with my second point here, but I suppose that is why blog’s are fun. Feel free to comment, especially if you disagree. Patience is key for all Masters, but especially Alphas new to the game. Have patience with your domination. Be patient with finding your tone, your brand, your following. Take it all as it comes, and learn from it. It’s easy to think you know it all on day one, or that you will skyrocket to the top. I’ve covered tips for new Masters in another post. 


That said, there is a patience specific to new subs that matters for this community. Now, it is hard to tell when a sub is genuinely new (and not some relapsing worm). And some Masters still don’t care, which is normal and acceptable. Some Masters do not accept conversation prior to a show of resolve (usually tribute). I’d humbly argue that, to an extent, productive introductory conversation is part of what makes findom thrive at its best. So, if you so choose, have patience as a Dom. More often than not, when you learn to judge sub’s with some intuition, it pays off. Literally.


As always, I hope to see your comments and reactions below. To my dominant readers, stay powerful gents.

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