10 Things Specific to Online Financial Domination

10 Things Specific to Online Financial Domination

by DorianTheAlpha

#1 - Discipline

No, not the kinky kind. I’m talking about self-discipline. It’s easy to be motivated at the start, or after a heavy drain, maybe you’ve just owned a new fag or two. Not everyday will be motivating. Some days this might even feel like work, down right discouraging. Discipline is what separates the flashes in the pan from the those who stand the test of time (this is true for Dominants and submissives).

#2 - Communication

Online domination is noisy. Very noisy. Being a strong communicator is a key part of succeeding here, but that doesn’t mean being everywhere all the time. Be thoughtful about where you want to focus your own energy, and in those places: be responsive. With your fellow Alphas, with owned fags, with loyal sluts: make time and be thoughtful in your replies. A stale dynamic rarely lasts long. M/s is above all a relationship.

#3 - Decisions

I wrote this point specifically for Alphas new to online scenes. Timewasting: when a sub seeks free attention without any intention to serve you. The more I consider the idea, the more I realize it presumes an Alpha does not choose how to spend that time. When you indulge a timewaster, you the Alpha spend that time wastefully. It’s important to get to know potential servants. See: communication. Decide with intention, and stand firm by your choices while also…

#4 - Learning

Ultimately, the decisions you make are based on judgment. I’ve made decisions I later changed (past blogs, notably). There is a difference between flip-flopping a choice, and growing as a Dominant. No one is above improvement, and yes even as Alphas we can and are sometimes wrong. Whether it’s a fellow Master, a seasoned sub, or a brilliantly written borderline Nobel-prize-winning calibre blog — there’s always more to learn.

#5 - Responsibility & Ethics

I often hear from Alphas that it’s the sub’s responsibility not to self-destruct. And this is true. Ultimately, kinks like findom are power exchange between two consenting adults. That said, the best dynamics here exist because the Master & slave trust each other, deeply. Be responsible with your subs. Be ethical in your domination. Now, you can still leave a bitch battered, bruised, mouth full of ash, piss, spit, and weeping in a way that they fully consent to & even thank you for while begging for more. Intensity & extremes can and should still be responsibly, ethically carried out.

#6 - Community

Is the cash fun? Obviously. Do you know what’s more fun? The people that make this place great.

It’s called power exchange, not tips exchange. If you *need* the money, then you’re starting this for the wrong reasons (that’s just My perspective). If you’re only interested in heartless cash grabbing, you’re going to grow bored quick regardless of your success. Community is what makes OF, more than anything else.

#7 - Respect

Rule 1 - don’t be a dick. And it is rule #1 for a reason. That goes for Masters to Masters, Masters to fags, and fags to fags (obviously most of all fags to Masters). There’s plenty of Alphas here who use a sharp, punitive tone, while also doing so respectfully. Respect doesn’t have to be soft, or cuddly. I don’t agree with all of you. I don’t even like some of you. But being a toxic twat is a surefire way to alienate yourself or worse get banned from the site. Be better. Respect everyone.

#8 - Start

Unsure whether you’ve got what it takes to dominate online? Try it. Do it. Open your account. Verify, read the rules, and dive right in. Worried messaging subs will make you seem weak? Write them. Send PMs. Test what works best. You can only get better. This is the cliché classic “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. It’s especially true of the online space where you’re just an avatar and a handle until you make yourself more than that. So make yourself more than that.

#9 - Stop

I don’t know who told you to start but that was a horrible idea. Stupid.

I joke, but the notion that you need to be always-on and constantly grinding will burn out the best of us. Taking breaks matters. Prioritizing your health & wellness matters. Remember that there’s more to life than the next tip notification or Pantheon climb. Stop and smell the roses. Call your grandma. Read a book. There will be subs & sending aplenty when you return. This message was brought to you by someone who is constantly failing at this particular point and in general maintaining work/life/kink balance.

#10 - Give Back

Donate to the site. There’s no elaboration here. The man’s growing a moustache for a good cause. If you haven’t put up for it: donate. Men’s health is no joke and last I checked we all had a cock between our legs.

Don’t forget to like & subscribe. New merch available soon. (This is a joke)

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub

by DorianTheAlpha

It has been a long time since I’ve written a blog post. I try not to retread the same old thoughts I have covered before here; I invite you to read my other entries on topics like tips for newcomer subs, newcomer Masters, among other themes in kink. Today we will address something unfortunately ever-present in power exchange: submissive toxicity. 

Now, let me say at the outset: this does not suggest Masters are not also at fault sometimes. It is possible for Doms to be toxic too. That is a post for another day. Here, I address common behaviours that all subs show at some point — these are signs you are being toxic. A good sub can have a toxic moment. Even the best owned subs slip up. It does not mean you cannot improve. Instead, use this as a reminder to be better. Grow & learn constantly to serve your Master as best you can. These are in no particular order, though personally I would say those highest on the list are the most egregious.

1. Doxxing & Hostility

To dox someone is to reveal their real identity online. If you even feel the hint of an urge to do this: don’t. Never threaten violence, or be hostile. If you feel that level of anger & aggression do to some slight in kink or your dynamic: walk away. This space is not for you if you cannot handle its intensity. Many people here keep their kink lives separate & secret from their career, family, and personal sphere. Any kind of hostile act towards your Dom, any Alpha, or any member of this community is unacceptable. This one should be self-evident.

2. Illegality

Many illegal actions are desirable. Substances, sex acts, even demographics. Regardless, never suggest or bring illegal activities to your Alpha. For some, sex work is their full-time career. For others like myself, this is a supplementary outlet to express my dominant self. When you suggest illegal things, you jeopardize that space. Deviant fun can be legal and still be plenty daring. 

3. Topping from the Bottom

This is when a sub attempts to exert their desires and demands onto their Dominant. It reverses the power exchange: the Master is instead performing a “dominance fantasy” according to the conditions of their submissive role-play leader. Hence, topping from the bottom. This is the worst form of selfishness. Now, you can have submissive desires. And especially with single session play, it is important to voice them to your Dominant. However, in power exchange, your role is to please your Alpha first and foremost. If you have desires, there is a correct way to communicate them. That is not topping from the bottom. So speak properly, humbly, and when in doubt defer to your Master. Don’t be a selfish twat.

4. Inability to Handle Drop

This is most applicable to financial domination, but applies to other intense forms of session play like pain certain sex play. Drop, or sub drop, is a form of guilt and regret that can be all-consuming after intense sessions. In the throes of submissive obedience, you may send more or suffer more than you expected. Some of your limits may be tested. This leads to a lurching depression for many who are new to the feeling. It is your responsibility to manage it. Many Alphas offer guidance, aftercare, and compassion. Some do not. It is not our job to be your therapist. I personally tend to do so, but it is wrong to expect it from your Dominant. This is an adult space, between consenting parties. Behave as such.

5. Jealousy

If I need to explain this one at length, you are the problem. Do not be jealous another sub is sending more, receiving more time with your Alpha, getting more attention in the chat. This is about Alpha pleasure. If you are envious of others, work harder & serve better to achieve those same goals. Better yet, find the maturity to realize that you should only measure yourself against your own servitude.

6. Submissive Poaching

This is a rare case, but does sometimes happen. Never poach other owned subs from another Master to come and serve your Alpha. This is the equivalent of an Alpha poaching a sub; it is no better and just as atrocious. If a sub is unhappy, that is between them and their Master to resolve. An owned dynamic (as defined on the site; not “grey/open” dynamics etc) should always be treated with utmost sanctity and respect. Even between owned subs.

7. Nuisance

Owned or new, don’t be a dick (or a little s**t). There is a reason this is one of the tenets of the chat room, and it extends to private conversation. Don’t play dumb. Don’t be a brat, or rude. Many Masters will converse and dominate subs who have little to send, but speak soundly and offer entertaining banter. Don’t be a nuisance.

8. Over-investing

This is a two-parter, and both matter equally. Do not invest more financially here than you can afford. Doing so is on you if it happens. Never blame your Alpha for your own lack of self-control. Secondly, do not over-invest emotionally. Some Masters dominate with sexual overlap, and sometimes even romantic overlap. This is still kink in power exchange. Don’t let your M/s get messy. Don’t over-invest.

9. Deletion & Relapse

This isn’t even necessarily that annoying, it is just so predictable. Subs who can’t manage the above, generally are those who delete, and come back crawling under some new pseudonym. The relapsers. I suppose it helps that you pay a join fee each time you create an account here. Still, it’s transparent, and laughable. Best avoided if you hope to be a sub in good standing here among Alphas and your fellow subs.

10. Manipulation

The last point here is a broad stroke generalization for all the gaslighting, excuse-making, and other such vapid waste that subs spew in their squabbles with an Alpha. This isn’t a relationship of peers. This isn’t a negotiation. This is kink, s********n, and servitude to your Master. We have heard it all, and we see your pathetic tricks coming a mile away. Save it. 

Avoid these my sweet pets if you do not want to be a toxic sub to your Master.

Serve well, and to my Dominant readers, stay powerful gents. Comments and questions, as always, are welcome.

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Dom

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Dom

by DorianTheAlpha

I just wrote one of these about toxic subs. I often hear from subs that it is a tricky thing to criticize those on the dominant half of this community. All too often, those comments are dismissed or even derided, because they are just "slaves", and should shut their trap. So, to that end, as an olive branch of sorts, I've considered some things I have seen firsthand from the worst among Alphas both here and elsewhere in financial domination and kink. If you are regularly guilty of these, you are a toxic Dom. I have done more than one of these, and more than once. I have certainly had my toxic moments, especially early on while cocky and still learning the ropes. Recognize your faults and your failures, and use this as a guide to not only be better as a Master to your submissives, but as a member of this community.

1. Doxxing & Hostility 

This one is the same; it cuts both ways. No Dominant entrusted with their sub’s information should ever reveal those details, or act negligently with it. True b*******l is a crime (extortion). The idea of ruin/homewrecking fantasies is acceptable when practiced responsibly and consensually, but all too often that kink is done wrong, and puts real lives in harm’s way. If you cannot dominate responsibly and without hostility, then leave. That isn’t power, that’s pathetic. There is no place for that here on this site or anywhere in findom & kink communities.

2. Poaching

Don’t poach subs. Just don’t. It is natural for some subs to want a new Master over time, discover a better fit, etc. These are all relationships at the end of the day. The line can sometimes be blurred, I will admit. But poaching is poaching. And you know when you are doing it. I’ll define it here for those still unclear: do not ever attempt to seek tribute, s********n, or other such favours from an owned sub (as defined on this site by a lock symbol with a Master’s stable to its name). Always speak with that Master first and get their explicit permission if you sense a supplemental fit with a sub, which happens plenty often. Co-ownerships, loan dynamics, and session play are all healthy parts of an owned sub’s fluid servitude with their Master’s approval. Keywords: with their Master’s approval.

3. Disrespect

I’ve been guilty of this one. We all have tempers. Some more than others. There are those here who despise me (and I can be a bit much at times). Regardless: treat your fellow Alphas with respect. Treat subs, within the framework of kinky banter and bdsm, with basic human decency when it matters. Disrespect sucks the fun out of this community, and at the end of the day that is what this is: a community.

4. lllegality

Again, this cuts both ways as with subs: do not suggest illegal acts or substances with your slaves, ever. Especially do not do so on this website, where MOA works so hard to create a safe playground for our collective deviance. People can lose their jobs, their families, their lives. It sounds extreme, but those who have been around long enough know that sadly it happens to even the most experienced among us when things get out of hand, even for only a moment. That’s all it takes. Keep it legal, at all times.

5. Rejection

Much of domination is tied to one’s ego. Success feeds into it. Tribute and luxury lead to the expectation of a certain lifestyle. The comforts in having servants for your every whim & desire is a treat. However, if/when subs decide to leave: that is normal. Most dynamics do not last forever. Most dynamics are single sessions, or short bouts of servitude. A seldom few last longer, for months or years. Learn to handle rejection. Better yet, embrace it, even if that means accepting you don’t cater to everyone. I am the farthest thing from a skinboss, or a gay sex-driven Alpha. I provide an allure to those who want the Master that I am, and the domination that I offer. Simple: subs can say “no”. Deal with it.

6. Burnout 

This might not fit the strictest definition of toxicity, but exhausted Masters tend to be the most impatient, sloppy with their approach, and quick to frustration with their subs. Know yourself, and know when it’s time to take a step back, to rest up. Everyone has their off days. Avoid burnout. We are at our best with all things in balance.

7. Pandering

This, while rare, is the bane of so many Masters’ existence: do not pander to toxic subs. When you indulge topping from the bottom (see my previous post on toxic subs if unclear here), you exacerbate the issue. Whiny twats ought to be disposed for the whiny twats that they are. Nothing more. Deep pockets cause Alphas to abandon their principles for a quick cash grab. Don’t. This is supposed to be fun, kink-driven power exchange. Some might disagree here; say it’s all about the money, no matter what. I say, “it matters what”. And the money is often what makes this fun, when done right. But lowering yourself to a sub’s every whim is not financial domination, and it is the farthest thing from dominant. If anything, it’s supplicant.

8. Sanctimony

The irony of this point following the last is not lost on me. All the same, don’t be a sanctimonious prick. We all generally agree how power exchange & financial domination happens. Some don’t. Some differ on the little things. Just because you see a dynamic occurring in a way distinct from your view of correct etiquette or approach, does not make you the grand arbiter of kink. And if you still feel compelled to comment, then do so kindly & constructively. No one likes a self-righteous absolutist. The range of perspectives & practices is part of why this place is so great. Let’s keep it that way.

9. Maturity

There is a reason that “ch-ild” is a banned word here. Don’t be one. This builds upon the notion of being able to handle submissive rejection; you will have plenty of conflict and friction in practicing all types of domination. Those who have succeeded here longest & most triumphantly continue to do so because they know who they are, they conduct themselves accordingly, and with utmost maturity. Conversely, the worst subs and least admired Doms often earn that reputation quickly because they stir up trouble and are among the least mature here.

10. Patience

This one is two-fold, and many may not agree with my second point here, but I suppose that is why blog’s are fun. Feel free to comment, especially if you disagree. Patience is key for all Masters, but especially Alphas new to the game. Have patience with your domination. Be patient with finding your tone, your brand, your following. Take it all as it comes, and learn from it. It’s easy to think you know it all on day one, or that you will skyrocket to the top. I’ve covered tips for new Masters in another post. 

That said, there is a patience specific to new subs that matters for this community. Now, it is hard to tell when a sub is genuinely new (and not some relapsing worm). And some Masters still don’t care, which is normal and acceptable. Some Masters do not accept conversation prior to a show of resolve (usually tribute). I’d humbly argue that, to an extent, productive introductory conversation is part of what makes findom thrive at its best. So, if you so choose, have patience as a Dom. More often than not, when you learn to judge sub’s with some intuition, it pays off. Literally.

As always, I hope to see your comments and reactions below. To my dominant readers, stay powerful gents.