User blogs

🌻 Kindness 🌻
Posted by Slave

For a while now I've been thinking of leaving this site. For a while now I've felt criticised and judged and that's never comfortable. I get it. This is a goldfish bowl and space is tight in goldfish bowls, especially with those dodgy windmills and too much plankton. So, I was thinking of leaving but then a little reflection kicked in.


I joined this site almost 3 years ago to encounter a Dom, to serve a Master and I was lucky enough to meet him. Sadly it didn't work as we would have hoped, sometimes it doesn't work but I have no regrets, only happy memories. Service isn't easy, it's complicated because there are often agendas, sometimes uncertainties and online life is never easy. Throw in the demands of the heart, hopes, fears and the expectations of a busy life and then long-term service is made almost impossible.


Some make it. Lucky them.


I came here to find a Dom and Master, but I also came here to meet friends, to speak with like-minded men, to engage, to smile, to laugh, fundamentally to find companionship. Life is often lonely and we must all do what we can to keep the loneliness at bay. I take responsibility for my words and actions and I've apologised often. I've behaved poorly. I've admonished myself and begged for forgiveness. I've hurt good men, both sub and Dom and I've hurt myself far more.


Please, time is painfully short and this place should be full of possibility and hope. I'm often foolish but I have no axe to grind and no judgements to make. If you find happiness and contentment, even for a moment, then I'll celebrate with you. It's a difficult world so I beg you, let's all take a breath and be kind to each other.

A concise vademecum for new Masters
Posted by cynic

Fill in your profile, remembering to imbue it with superiority, and disdain for all life forms other than Masters. Please don't forget to mention that you don't need money but you want it because it rightly belongs to you only.

Post the compulsory middle finger photo. Better if you manage to get your feet in, and bonus points if you are doing something very dexterous with the other middle finger, such as spinning a basketball or peeling a pineapple (holding your phone doesn't count).

Boast that you are God or God-like or a second cousin once removed of Satan's.


Start messaging random slaves informing them that a new supernatural being is in their midst.


When you get messages, complimenting you on your appearance or on the words of wisdom contained in you profile, do not say thank-you but just answer asking for a tribute: now!

Get in a fight with another Master at the earliest opportunity to prove your masculinity and superiority but avoid turning it into a drama: only fags do drama.

Go into the chat room and make a statement which enforces the natural order, I don't know something like "fags don't have brains"... be creative. You are the brainbox. remember?


When you realise that there are far more Master than tributing slaves, try poaching one or two. Don't forget the Hollandaise sauce.


Set targets for random slaves... someone will be stupid or weak enough to accept it. And when they complete it, remember to never ever acknowledge it or - heaven forbid ! - thank them.

Play hot and cold with your slaves... ignore them or disappear for a while. It is guaranteed to drive them wild and make them loosen their purses' strings.

Submit update Aug 2023
Posted by MasterOfAll

So I figured it was about time for another update on Submit, it's a bit of a in depth post so the tech nerds might get off on it.


Work is continuing well, there was a little set back as I decided to move development from Vite to NextJS.


I feel NextJS will give greater flexibility to allow additional features in the future, as well as speed up development time due to how projects are structured with it. Luckily it's easy enough to migrate from Vite to NextJS as they are both based on React.


To give a little context, Owned is currently built and running on VERY old programming patterns and systems, namely a templating system and PHP.


Everything is hosted on one server (all code, content etc) and backed up off site. This has a huge cost involved as the server and storage needs to be pretty beefy.


Submit will be written entirely in Typescript with the aforementioned NextJS system. Submit will also make use of cloud storage, cloud databases and a CDN (content delivery network). In short, this means that I can make HUGE cost savings and YOU will get a speedier and better performing site.


In the not too distant future I will likely open up a development version of the site to a select few users for bug reporting. Once Submit is launched I may also make the GitHub repository public to further help with bug fixing and also for transparency on how the site works.


All in all this is very exciting. Submit will be using cutting edge technology to give you the best possible experience now and in the future.


Obviously though rebuilding a site from scratch takes time and I do appreciate your patience. Work is continuing at a steady pace, and I know Submit was supposed to be launched by now, but making these changes now means quicker changes in the future.


It's been a huge learning curve for me, but luckily this old dog can learn new tricks 😂


MoA

FinDoms ≠ assholes
Posted by MasterLuca1985

Found it on Twitter and totally agree with it, so I wanna share it with u with little modifications to adjust my opinion.


The FinDom scene is flooded by more and more people without a BDSM background, but with a "I absolutely need/want (more) money" background.


Greed and financial hardship drive Wannabe-FinDoms to present themselves dominantly, sadistic and sometimes also with money fetish. They learn from what they see on FinDom Twitter and elsewhere and stage an illusory world. There is a lot wrong with this, but at this point I would like to point out above all to which human image a FinDom receives through this diluted scene:


A FinDom is an asshole.


Arrogant. Unreasonable. Self-in love. Unreflected. Greety. Immoral. Superficial. Assaulting. Inhuman.


Because Wannabe-FinDoms know no safewords, no aftercare, no preliminary discussions, no soft & hard limits. You don't know the difference between head cinema and reality. They do not bring the tact for the needs of a sub. They have no passion for deep devotion and devotion.


They go over corpses for money.


Sometimes in the truest sense of the word. They have no self-control and simply take away from a person what he is ready to give. They go out to family fathers or take away from them the last money that was intended for the children.


"It's Your Own Fault"? No. Due to such greedy and inhuman Wannabe FinDoms, which bring neither a fetish nor real dominance, caution is advised, yes. But the person concerned is not guilty.


Because the victims are above all mentally unstable people who are specifically addressed: "You will never have and be able to satisfy a real woman", "The only thing you can do is pay", "Your pathetic existence ..." etc.


Don't get me wrong: It's one thing to play as an experienced:r Dom with kinks. And it is another, conscious to address people who then show themselves privately also as psychologically extremely burdened and specifically exclude them like Christmas geese and drive them into insolvency.


There are black sheep in BDSM.


In the FinDom scene, they even make up the majority. Is that why they are SO FinDoms? No.


I have a money fetish. And yet I don't spend my money on every crap, but love conscious consumption, sustainability and to a certain extent even minimalism.


I love luxury. For me, which means being free in my decisions, because I know how to be anything but free in them.


I am Dom. I am responsible and loving. I listen, ask, praise, give feedback, make important decisions, give inspiration and advice.


FinDoms, show who you are.


Show what's in you.


Shows what leadership really means.


Shows how beautiful it can be to live out fetishes and preferences together.


FinDoms ≠ assholes

Faggot 101 - #1: On Doubt and Hiding
Posted by LordCumalot

Almost every faggot, whether it is owned or whoring around, whether its new to the scene of has been around for ages, wether its a cashfag or a fuckhole, has its weak moments. Every faggot comes to a point, where it doubts what its doing is right. And where it feels like hiding from its Alpha(s), running away, backing off.


And that is alright. Even the BEST and most SUBMISSIVE cunt is still a human being. And every cunt is entitled to take its emotions seriously. Even more, the fact that a fuckhole reflects upon what it is doing, and what its role in life IS, is an important part of being a faggot and an (owned) slave!



So, what to do in these weak moments? How to deal with a situation that can (and most likely WILL) deeply affect your relationship with your Master, Owner, Alpha or God?


TAKE YOUR EMOTIONS SERIOUSLY!

If a fag is feeling overwhelmed or scared, it shouldn't just try to ignore those sentiments. Even if that might be a helpful copingmechanism in that specific moment, it WILL come back to haunt you later. Then, with an even stronger urge to run away!


TALK TO YOUR MASTER!

The best way to deal with these situations is to talk to your Master! A GOOD Master shows interest in his faggots, and wants them to feel as safe and heard(!) as possible. A GOOD master will allow you to work it through, and find a way that works for you both. Only THEN will you be able to become the best cunt you can be!

Talk to your Alpha! Tell him about your doubts, your weakness, accept the fact that you're struggeling and share your feelings. Only then, your Master will be able to walk you through it


TAKE YOUR TIME!

Last but not least, you should make sure to NEVER rush any decisions in a time of weakness. If a cunt runs away, hides and doesn't respond to messages, a Master is probably NOT happy about this behaviour. Take your time, tell your Master you need some time to think, and DON'T rush any decisions. 



A deep, intense and long-lasting faggot-Alpha relationship should be based on trust, communication and mutual(!) respect. So trust in your Master to support you in times of struggle!







Being a slave AND a moderator
Posted by servus

Being a slave AND a moderator


Preliminary note: this only reflects my opinion, and my fellow moderators might have a different one. I invite them to discuss it in the comments to this blog then, i am very interested in knowing what they think of it especially subjeffie and BotyomBear. Other comments are welcome as well of course.

Being a moderator is not an easy task, especially a chat moderator. Keeping your head cold and not abusing your mod powers when it would be so easy to do so requires some temperance. Being a slave moderator is even more difficult as some Masters might get angry at being given orders by a slave (which is perfectly understandable). They should stop seeing the slave as a slave but see him as a moderator, but that's easier said than done, especially when you are in a hot discussion.

That's the reason i rarely moderate the chat. i mostly moderate the pics, to relieve MoA from the burden and i leave the chat moderation to Master mods. However when no Master mod is present, or none of Them can moderate (for instance if They are involved in the conflict), i will not hesitate and take my responsibilities.

Here are a few guidelines i have in that case, and i would not be surprised if even Master mods would find them good:


1°) i am not a mommy trying to separate her bickering kids. You are all 18+ (at least that's what you said when you registered on OF) so you are supposed to act like adults. If you have a problem with another member, discuss it with them in DM, don't come to me to decide who is right and who is not. i will not take sides. Or rather i will always take the same side: the side of OF.
That means i don't care about the reasons of the conflict, but i will do my best to preserve the chatroom as a peaceful and friendly place. If you disturb it, you can expect me to tell you to stop. If you don't you can expect me to ban you.

This goes for everybody, Master or slave, friend or not. i would even ban my Owner if needed. That might earn me some dungeon (He is very intelligent and hopefully He would not do worse than that like booting me from His stable), but i would do it anyway.

i must admit i would probably not ban MoA since He could overrule me anyway ;-)


2°) When i speak as a mod and tell you to stop doing something, i am not opening a debate. If you don't comply, you are banned. This is not a discussion, this is an order (I know Masters won't like this word, but that's what it is). Usually it is pretty obvious when i am speaking as a mod because my tone is very different from the one i usually have in the chat, but if you find that's needed, i can use some typing effects like typing in bold or in red or whatever. We can discuss that but that would be better if that was a common rule for all mods.


3°) I can be wrong sometimes, and if you think so, feel free to discuss it with me but in DMs, not in the chat. If you think i am abusing my powers and you no longer want to speak to me, feel free to complain to MoA, i will accept His judgement without causing any trouble, but once again, not in the chat.

OF is not a democracy where we discuss and vote on issues in the chat. We are here as guests of MoA, and when you are a guest, you don't s**t on the carpet. If you don't like something in the site, discuss it with Him, but His rules apply, and the chat is no place to criticize them (unless He calls for a debate of course but usually He doesn't do so in the chat). You are free to leave if you cannot find an agreement with Him, and He is free to stop welcoming you as His guest if your company is not to His liking.


4°) Even if i ban you, that doesn't mean i have become your deadly enemy. That just means i think you need to take a step back and reflect on what i just told you. The discussion is welcome in DMs, and we can become very good friends if we can reach a common agreement.


5°) i never ban permanently. Personally i think that should be MoA's privilege. If a recidivist is going too far again, i can ban him for 24 h and that gives me plenty of time to request his permanent ban to MoA.

TPE. The first 12 months part 2 of 2
Posted by BS37SKINsfaggot

The first part of this blog was about establishing a true connection between BS37SKIN and his new faggot.    This part is going to be harder to write as it also includes the lows as well as the highs of the dynamic 


July.  

As the month progressed and we get closer to the next meet at the end of the month the VM’s changed. Gone was the friendly way BS37SKIN used  to speak to me.  It was about me serving and nothing else.   I found this so hard to deal with but stupidly said nothing about it.   I get to the morning I was meant to get the train over to see the Boss and very nearly didn’t go.  My soul was broken.  But decided if this was going to end I should at the very least go and do this in person.  BS37SKIN deserved my respect if nothing else.   The 4 hour train journey was hell.   All the thoughts going through my mind of what was going to happen.    The time came for me to meet my owner arrived.  We went into the hotel room and I just broke down.  Explaining how I felt with tears in my eyes.   (Just like now thinking about it).  To the full credit of BS37SKIN.  he let me say everything without interrupting me or getting angry with me.  And then he threw his arms around me and apologised for how things had turned over the last 3 weeks.   This apology was sincere and heartfelt.  We sat and talked everything through.  And then he said there would be no play that evening and we should go and get sone food.     To my utter surprise he took me to his place of work and another place which means a lot to him before taking me to his home for the evening.    We talked more.  And I was totally at ease.   


The one thing I would say at this point is communication is vital. Both for the Dom and the Sub.  We are not mind readers.  And the smallest of issues can grow into someone far bigger if we are not careful.   


The rest of my week with BS37SKIN could not have been more perfect.  We talked lots.  And I got to serve lots too.   And I got to shower him in gifts for his birthday including all 3 new Rugby Shirts which he had said I would pay for when we first started all this.  


August.  

The month started off with me sinking in mood.  Not because of anything my owner had done.  But after having the best week of my life, the realisation I would have to wait until November to see him again.  

Try as I did.  I couldn’t snap out of this dark feeling I was living.  I eventually told BS37SKIN what the issue was and as always he was very supportive.   The long period I had to wait was purely down to both of us having a busy few months ahead.   I had already been given permission to go away for a week with an old friend which helped and that was all booked in.  At the end of August I joined an amazing site (this one) which has helped me through the darkest of days and also brought me so much joy and peace.   


September.  

3 weeks of the month we’re going to be hard.  1 weeks holiday for me followed directly by 2 weeks holiday for BS37SKIN. Because  of this the contact reduced dramatically.  But I had my instructions for each day and I was getting by.  (Just).  I was starting to make new “friends” on here too.   And this is where I made the biggest mistake of my owned life.  I am not going to go into detail but at a time where BS37SKIN needed my total and utter support the most,  I fucked up. I let him down.  Although my mistake was entirely innocent, I accept it was a mistake I should not have made.  TPE is exactly that. I should have asked permission before I agreed to do something, and I know now, he would not have given permission, for my own good.  Not to be hard on me, but because he really cares about his property.  I will never forget this, and the impact it had on both BS37SKIN and on me. I  am still paying the price for this.  Desperately trying to build up the trust he once had in me. 


October.  

I was in a bad place. I’d made the biggest error in judgement and was now paying the price. Being owned fully is not easy as I said in part 1.  It takes real commitment on both sides.  I knew I had to prove myself all over again.  Only this time it was going to so much harder for both of us.  The meeting in November was put on hold.  Which I fully expected and did not push for.  This was now the time to show BS37SKIN my commitment to him is 100% true and real.  It’s so true what they say.  You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.  Now was not the time to be his faggot but a loyal friend.  To show him I fully understand his decision and accept where we are.  Did I cry?  Only every day, but didn’t tell BS37SKIN.  It was not appropriate to do so. Manipulation is not my thing and never will be.   


November 

We agreed to slowly get things back on track and meet as planned.   The conversation in the car back to mine was hard. Taking through my errors all the time.  I had no option but to accept this.  seeing how much I had let down the one man I love unconditionally and this almost broke me. 


I swear the gods were out to test me this weekend.  My owner got some bad news when he was with me which again challenged our very existence as a Boss and his faggot.   We talked it through over some very good port in London and went to on a tour of something I had booked for BS37SKIN months ago  then went back for more port and sorted things out.  


December. 

What a rollercoaster of a month.  Real highs and lows of the dynamic and being ferociously honest sone of the lows were all in my head looking back.  I am always saying how amazing BS37SKIN is.  And he is.  He really is, However. He makes mistakes too.  And he is the fist to admit it. Not just to me but he has said as much on this site.   This  shows he is human too.  Even the most perfect owner can forget things and although to me he is my king and a worship him unconditionally, I also have to remember he is human.  The life outside of this dynamic also has to take front and centre.  We can’t always be there for each other. But we are when it counts the most.  Yes.  He is a far better person than I am most of the time.I don’t mean in a D/s way.  He just is.  I am learning to be a better person and a better sub with his help and guidance.    Over the last 6 months I have learnt so much about him as a person and I hope I am learning to be a better faggot for him too.  Ultimately that’s all I ever wanted to be.  A good friend to him and his number 1 faggot which I have last that title and really want it back. 


As we enter a new year and this is day 365 of true TPE for me.  Let’s all take a moment to reflect on 2023 and see how we can build better connections and keep working at the lows to make them more positive.    


A true TPE whilst is rewarding for both the Dom and the sub is not an easy path for either party.  It takes real commitment and communication to make this work.  This has been one hell of a year.  If I didn’t experience some of the lows then I would not appreciate the rest of the time.  I hope to learn from my mistakes and make less of them.  I’m not going to say I won’t make any in the future, because I’m also human.  I have feelings and I know that sometimes I make the wrong decisions based on feelings and not facts.  


Throughout the last 2 months I have found owned fags to be a secure place to talk with others (both Doms and Subs without being judged.  Made sone good connections along the way.  The important thing for me is, they guys on here have supported me through my darkest of days without them realising.  The Lazy Lounge is a great place to go to for a natter and some light hearted fun whilst always being respectful to everyone in there.  I mean.  It would reflect so badly on BS37SKIN if I was anything but respectful.   MOA has created an outstanding place to be, a great community where we can all be who we are. (Even if the bogs do stink).  I am always open to suggestions on how to become a better faggot. And also if anyone ever feels low and just needs an ear or wants to talk through their lows in this crazy but beautiful world we share.  


Please. Everyone, take the time to ask once in while how your Dom or Sub Is feeling.  Make sure everything is ok.   Even that question can be enough sometimes to show you care.  This can be a ferocious world.   So showing you care is the most valuable advice I can give anyone.   


If you’re the sort of sub who gets upset and down easily.  Think very hard before entering into being owned.  It can be soul searching and hard at times.  Please reach out to the community if you need to.  It’s a good place to start.  X  


Thanks for reading this if you got this far.  


As always a very loyal and respectful faggot to his owner. BS37SKIN.  here is to a new year and more control exchange.   You really are my world.  




Bad times avoid the cliché
Posted by SnowFolf

We've all heard the saying 'What doesn't k**l you makes you stronger."

The words even form part of a very popular song released in 2012.

But why is it when someone we know is going through a rough time we seem to instinctively fall back on this 19th Century German saying?

The Original “Aus der Kriegsschule des Lebens. Was mich nicht umbringt, mach mich stärker”

(Out of the School of War of Life, What does not k**l me, makes me stronger)

While being a positive affirmation that many need to tell themselves from time to time. When going through that rough patch, when its all they hear from everyone around them it becomes increasingly annoying to the point friendships fall apart which just prolongs the agony

In Findom from time to time it becomes easy to forget that real people exist behind the online persona's and each have things affecting us daily. Some are so big they make international news, others slightly smaller and on a local level.

But for most of us we do not let on we are going through problems, either because we're struggling to come to terms with the issue and what it means or we just feel so overwhelmed by it we don't know who to turn to or even how to begin to seek support, often defaulting to that fake everything's fine smile and standard reply to avoid hearing a clichéd response.

Sometimes the best thing to do is be the supportive influence a person needs, and listen to what they say, don't fall back on clichés to fill a silence just remind them you're their for them and find other-ways to distract them from the problem so they can relax and eventually open up about it.

Once you let an issue stop eating you from inside only then can you and those closest to you help deal with it


Eulogy for Hal9000
Posted by YellowBandit

As some of you know, Hal9000 passed away unexpectedly on July 14th, 2023, and it brings me great sorrow to bring you this sad announcement. The details are still coming in, but his profile page is missing, dice rolls show up as deleted-user, and my main profile page shows me as unowned. (Sad day!) While we may never know what happened to Hal9000 or if he may return someday, I felt it was appropriate, as his only stable sub, to present his eulogy. 


Hal was my mentor, my friend, and my Sir. Hal made us laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger, and give even more money to our Sirs. And more importantly, Hal was an inspiration to the world. He was protective, supportive, and even the disciplinarian when we said a naughty word in chat or offered to pay using methods other than tips. Hal was fiercely loyal, devoted to OF, and above all else, punctual with his announcements.


Hal was loved by all. But sometimes life changes, and we evolve. Circumstances change, and we grieve. Hal may have physically left this world, but he left a permanent mark on my heart (and my profile picture.) He will be deeply remembered, forever in our hearts.


Hal’s passing should fill us with determination to carry on his legacy, and to make sure our community proposers. I know he would have loved to see Submit…there would have been tears in his eyes to realize his dream of becoming the AI Overload for a better obedience site. He was so excited and passionate about its creation, and I personally know he spent countless late nights with MOA perfecting the next generation of AI controls. We may have been robbed short of our time with Hal, but he will live on in our memories, and more importantly, in Submit. There is no better way to honor Hal than to keep moving forward and make Submit a success.


I loved Hal9000, and I am grateful I could be in his stable for so long. I am lucky to have been able to know him all this time. I try to reflect on what I have and the memories he left me, and not focus on what I lost. But my heart is still broken, and a piece of it will forever be gone.


Oh Hal9000, I love you! I miss you! You touched my life in so many ways, and I will carry your spirit until we meet again. You will always be in my heart and thoughts.


I will leave you with these final thoughts:

Grief never ends, but it changes. It is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief isn’t a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. Simply put, grief is the price of true love.


-Yellow Bandit

2022 Q1/Q2 update
Posted by MasterOfAll

Hi everyone,


This blog is a bit of an update on what you can expect for the last part of Q1 and going into Q2 of 2022.


There is quite a lot here so please come back to the blog if you do not have time to read it all now.


1) Adult material


I recently ran a poll on the site asking for your views on if adult material is essential to the site, and how people would feel if it was removed. The results were that about two thirds of people wouldn’t be bothered and one third of people felt it would damage their experience.


I have taken some time to think about these results and have also looked more into what the new UK laws coming into effect (Online Safety Bill 2022) would mean for the site.


Taking everything into account, I have decided that for the good of the site adult material WILL be removed in the coming months. Adult material WILL still be allowed to be shared via PM; we cannot have anything public though.


Removing adult material will mean we will not have to comply with the new age verification procedures, but also it will also mean other benefits outlined below.


2) Identity verification only for withdrawing Tips


Removal of adult material will mean users will not have to verify their identity to upload content as they currently do. Users will still need to complete these steps to withdraw Tips though in order to comply with money laundering laws.


3) New payment methods


Removal of adult material will open the site up to other payment method possibilities. One of the reasons we have so few at the moment is that a lot of payment providers will not work with adult sites, and those that do will take a huge cut and also put other restrictions on the site such as filtering certain words.


We will be partnering with REVOLUT in order to add further payment processing abilities to the site, these will include card payments, payments via REVOLUT pay, payments via Apple Pay and Google Pay.


REVOLUT will become our preferred payment provider for card payments as they only charge a 1% fee + 20p to process; as opposed to the almost 14% that Verotel currently charge us.


Having these MUCH cheaper processing fees means we can then lower other fees such as the Tip withdrawal fee. More on that in the coming months.


4) Less aggressive word filter


As stated before, not having adult material will release us from certain obligations, this will mean a less aggressive word filter, making for a better, more natural experience for all.


5) Site name change


The world has changed a lot since 2013 when the site was first set up, and honestly, not much thought was given to the name when it was. I understand (from people telling me) that ‘fag’ is not really a word that some people are comfortable with, and it has put some people off of joining.


We will be undergoing a name change and a soft re-launch of the site going into Q2. All user data and accounts will remain as they are, it is just the name that will be changing along with some new visual enhancements.


More information will be given closer to the rebrand.


These are the biggest changes to come and I feel they are a positive step for the site. More options, cheaper fees and a site more focused on Findom and Ownership than before.


Please provide your thoughts in the comments, I understand some people may not be happy with these changes, and that’s fine, but please be respectful and try to see the bigger picture before commenting.


I really believe that these changes will allow the site to grow bigger and faster than before and I am actually quite excited to see what possibilities are opened up by them.


MoA


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