Sometimes, everyone feels ashamed of themselves, be it something the desire, something they have done, something that is part of them, something they long to change or even wish had never happened.
While we often fail to discuss things like that seriously often dismissing them as a joke, the feeling of being ashamed everyone understands. Yet in a kink like this where perfectionism often comes out it is easy for those that are different to feel ashamed and try and hide.
Switches become ashamed of their 'other' side.
Those who may have bi tendencies become ashamed of the 'gay' side
Those who see themselves as too fat or too thin, become ashamed of their own bodies.
And then there are the deeper things people feel ashamed for, the things that have happened to them or are hidden from everyone.
Earlier I posted a reimbursement for something which, I will openly admit I wasn't sure if i should or not, I felt ashamed to do so because it showed I wasn't 'perfect' there was something wrong with me. Now at first glance, you may very well think there is nothing there that's unusual so why would you feel ashamed, however if you read the post fully you will understand that the reason for the shame is that we live in a world and are part of a community which often makes one feel everything has to be perfect.
And by posting that I have openly admitted that my body isn't perfect as it is broken .
Disabilities take many forms but ultimately those with them face the same reaction, "Something wrong with them" and pitted or even ridiculed for it.
But the reason i decided to post it was so that others felt they could be honest an open about things and know they aren't alone. All it takes is one person to do something unexpected to allow for change
and remember inside each of us there is a new version waiting to burst free like a phoenix from the ashes
However not everyone will be feeling overly Merry
There will be those maked to live a lie as they must ensue time with family that have issues with the way they are, for others such as myself it is a sad time as we remember those we have lost and have left a gaping hole in the celebrations
So remember be thankful that we here are a community that care about each other and look out for one another
On and off I've been part of OF a good few years now, and while never very high profile, have had some amazing experiences from it. I have a deeply submissive streak to my personality that is difficult to explain to others, or even myself. But I also seem to have become very lonely in recent times, one of these middle aged men often in the news, single, whose friendship group seems to have evaporated without me really being aware of it, part of the 'loneliness epidemic' that seems to be part of our modern life. Findom has always been an illicit thrill for me in the past, but recently I'm wondering what my motivation is, whether I am in fact using it to pay for attention and contact with other men, other men who would not look at me for any other reason. A way of fulfilling fantasies that I couldn't hope to realise for free, and to be honest, filling empty hours when there is nothing else going on in my life. I think for me part of this is the retreat of the realtime world in the face of the online; I used to be very much part of the fetish scene in London when I was younger and more self-confident (and when there was more of it) but now much of my life is lived through a screen and contact with other men is much more transactional, I think that is just the nature of the beast. But I wonder where I'm going with this, whether I'm just paying for an immediate thrill and to stave off unhappiness and fear of growing old, and how sustainable that is.
Ownership is a term that so many of us use but so few of us actually understand its meaning.
I recently was talking to one of my fags about why he was important to me. He was feeling a bit down about his worth to me and if he was meeting my standards. First, I will say that this should be the mentality of all who serve. You should be thinking about whether or not you are meeting the standards required and if you can improve in your service. That being said, at this point I started thinking that sometimes findom and ownership get mixed in a way that can be unclear or difficult for a sub to understand and more importantly devote himself to.
I personally am a firm believer in bonding with my boys. I want to grow to care for them and have them obviously grow to care for me. I want to know about his life and how he is developing in it and I enjoy sharing my life with him. Keeping my sub safe, be it in the form of keeping this part of his life secret or just actual safety measures in his service are also important. This all leads to real trust and a true bond. I think that this bond, if nurtured well can create a relationship that is gratifying for both parties and can create very intense desire and need to serve from the sub.
While the findom aspect of things is hot and I enjoy it, I want their obedience to me to be about much more than that. Otherwise, what is the point? Granted I can use them for money and I will always do that very hard⊠but luckily, I am well off enough that finances are not a good enough reason to keep a sub. Granted, the findom aspect is a major turn on and useful both from the practical and enjoyment standpoints. Nothing is hotter than a good cashfucking, having that cashpussy open up for me is one of the hottest things and will never get old.
However, true ownership is when a sub canât stop thinking about his owner. It is when he finds peace and balance in his life just knowing that his one true purpose is to make me happy. This level of devotion does not happen overnight and it takes time and work on both our parts to make it happen. However, once the sub knows his place and his happiness comes from knowing he has brought me pleasure, well then new worlds open up and he can embrace his life as my property without guilt or denial.
Often times, men are taught by the world that they need to be strong and dominant in their life to have any meaning. Yet, for many subs, this simply does not apply. Their meaning comes from devoting themselves to an Alpha and worshipping him in ways that the vanilla world would probably scoff at. However, the goal and accomplishment of leaving behind those arbitrarily taught norms and embracing the true nature of being a sub, can be liberating for someone who was born to serve. Helping a sub realize this and finally having him give himself permission to devote himself to me is so beautiful. Not only does it make my cock hard but also my heart melt. That moment when he finally gives himself to me without any restriction and knows that he belongs to me in every way, it is something truly magical.
For those who don't know me well, I've been focusing this whole year on preparing some very important exams to become a public servant in Spain. Actually, I've been investing Findom money mostly to pay for academies and books, which are very expensive. I can't be thankful enough to all the subs that have helped me become smarter and more resourceful. I always say that's the domination I like, the one that allows us to become an elevated version of ourselves while enjoying the fun.
Today the results came back and turns out I've passed. As of today, I can officially say I'm a sexy public librarian. That's why I thought I should write to the community and say "thank you for helping me reach my life goal".
Ps: don't return your books late or you will be punished by me now đ
As many of you know , SHM and I met down the pub this week for a đș, having been building our findom relationship for a few months now. So many people from this community took the time to write to us, to wish us well and remark on what they see when we interact here and our connection. The comments on the photo we posted and in chat have been almost overwhelming and thoroughly appreciated by us both.
Several people have asked if I would write a blog about the meet. Well here it is, but you might be disappointed to know that I wonât be sharing any further details of the day. We shared a pic on the feed, and uploaded a couple of pieces of content on X for you all to enjoy. For me though, the rest of our time together is personal . Those feelings before, during and after are nicely stored safely in my head :-)
Thanks again for being such an engaging and supportive community . Iâm very humbled, and really appreciate the many connections Iâve made here, the most important to me being the Boss himself of course - SHM.
We have all seen it many times. After serving a lot of subs experience a huge drop and regret their actions.
It's The vicious circle :
Horny Sub â> A Dom makes the subâs dick itch â> Send to a Dom â> Climax â> Reality check -> Feeling đ©ty -> Swearing to do it Never again -> Horniness -> Relapse -> Letâs try another Dom -> âŠ.
Well Sub. You cannot blame Dom ! Yes he used you, yes he got what he wanted and probably doesnâtâ know at all how to manipulate subs without his social media marketing.
You only got yourself to blame !. Why ?
· * You send to a Dom you knew nothing about
· * You just followed your brainless dick
· * You didnât have a strategy how to serve properly
The regret comes from the fact you didnât serve a Dom at all. No you only served yourself. This behaviour is self-destructive.
It is the vicious circle of self-service : a self-serving Sub and a self-serving Dom.
By controlling your urges and submitting to a real Dom with who you build a lasting connection you will find real pleasure and purpose.
Yes you know you need to Serve (your body and min remind you each time). The combination of the need to fulfil your primal urges and your weak brain causes it to go really wrong.
If you want
to find happiness you need a real master like me to step in and guide you. Even
reprogram you to become focussed, immersed and committed. Single minded
devotion ! No more regret, no more confusion. The feeling of belonging to real
superior alpha master.
10 Things Specific to Online Financial Domination
by DorianTheAlpha
#1 - Discipline
No, not the kinky kind. Iâm talking about self-discipline. Itâs easy to be motivated at the start, or after a heavy drain, maybe youâve just owned a new fag or two. Not everyday will be motivating. Some days this might even feel like work, down right discouraging. Discipline is what separates the flashes in the pan from the those who stand the test of time (this is true for Dominants and submissives).
#2 - Communication
Online domination is noisy. Very noisy. Being a strong communicator is a key part of succeeding here, but that doesnât mean being everywhere all the time. Be thoughtful about where you want to focus your own energy, and in those places: be responsive. With your fellow Alphas, with owned fags, with loyal sluts: make time and be thoughtful in your replies. A stale dynamic rarely lasts long. M/s is above all a relationship.
#3 - Decisions
I wrote this point specifically for Alphas new to online scenes. Timewasting: when a sub seeks free attention without any intention to serve you. The more I consider the idea, the more I realize it presumes an Alpha does not choose how to spend that time. When you indulge a timewaster, you the Alpha spend that time wastefully. Itâs important to get to know potential servants. See: communication. Decide with intention, and stand firm by your choices while alsoâŠ
#4 - Learning
Ultimately, the decisions you make are based on judgment. Iâve made decisions I later changed (past blogs, notably). There is a difference between flip-flopping a choice, and growing as a Dominant. No one is above improvement, and yes even as Alphas we can and are sometimes wrong. Whether itâs a fellow Master, a seasoned sub, or a brilliantly written borderline Nobel-prize-winning calibre blog â thereâs always more to learn.
#5 - Responsibility & Ethics
I often hear from Alphas that itâs the subâs responsibility not to self-destruct. And this is true. Ultimately, kinks like findom are power exchange between two consenting adults. That said, the best dynamics here exist because the Master & slave trust each other, deeply. Be responsible with your subs. Be ethical in your domination. Now, you can still leave a bitch battered, bruised, mouth full of ash, piss, spit, and weeping in a way that they fully consent to & even thank you for while begging for more. Intensity & extremes can and should still be responsibly, ethically carried out.
#6 - Community
Is the cash fun? Obviously. Do you know whatâs more fun? The people that make this place great.
Itâs called power exchange, not tips exchange. If you *need* the money, then youâre starting this for the wrong reasons (thatâs just My perspective). If youâre only interested in heartless cash grabbing, youâre going to grow bored quick regardless of your success. Community is what makes OF, more than anything else.
#7 - Respect
Rule 1 - donât be a dick. And it is rule #1 for a reason. That goes for Masters to Masters, Masters to fags, and fags to fags (obviously most of all fags to Masters). Thereâs plenty of Alphas here who use a sharp, punitive tone, while also doing so respectfully. Respect doesnât have to be soft, or cuddly. I donât agree with all of you. I donât even like some of you. But being a toxic twat is a surefire way to alienate yourself or worse get banned from the site. Be better. Respect everyone.
#8 - Start
Unsure whether youâve got what it takes to dominate online? Try it. Do it. Open your account. Verify, read the rules, and dive right in. Worried messaging subs will make you seem weak? Write them. Send PMs. Test what works best. You can only get better. This is the clichĂ© classic âyou miss 100% of the shots you donât takeâ. Itâs especially true of the online space where youâre just an avatar and a handle until you make yourself more than that. So make yourself more than that.
#9 - Stop
I donât know who told you to start but that was a horrible idea. Stupid.
I joke, but the notion that you need to be always-on and constantly grinding will burn out the best of us. Taking breaks matters. Prioritizing your health & wellness matters. Remember that thereâs more to life than the next tip notification or Pantheon climb. Stop and smell the roses. Call your grandma. Read a book. There will be subs & sending aplenty when you return. This message was brought to you by someone who is constantly failing at this particular point and in general maintaining work/life/kink balance.
#10 - Give Back
Donate to the site. Thereâs no elaboration here. The manâs growing a moustache for a good cause. If you havenât put up for it: donate. Menâs health is no joke and last I checked we all had a cock between our legs.
Donât forget to like & subscribe. New merch available soon. (This is a joke)
My blogs are typically about s********n. How to serve better etc.
This one is specifically for Masters new to the site. Read up & enjoy.
Feel free to DM if anything below is unclear.
1. Read the rules.
Read the website rules. Read about kink, about D/s ownership.
Read up on findom.
If you're going to try a new kink a sub proposes. Study it. Ask other Alphas.
Everyone starts somewhere. You are given the power to govern a slave's body, mind, and wallet.
Wield that power responsibly, within the guidelines set for this community.
The only tribute allowed here are those sent with OwnedFags tips. No other tribute methods allowed. Period.
2. It takes longer than you realize.
For every useful sub, there are 20 timewasting pretenders.
For every lasting sub, it takes 20 who are fleetingly useful.
So if you're a math guy: that's roughly a 0.25% ownership rate on every sub interaction you have.
Lots of empty-handed, empty-headed strokers. The truly servile sluts are few & far between.
3. Don't do it for the money.
Ultimately, no one is here for the money (or shouldn't be). It's a fun byproduct of a kink: findom.
Findom is about power exchange through currency transfer. Much like bondage is through mobility transfer.
It's just another vector for a submissive to surrender to its Dominant, whether in session or lasting servitude.
If you need money, get a job or sell items. Desperate Alphas are always see-through, and fail. Just truth.
4. Build relationships with other Alphas.
Focus on the other Dominants here. Chat with them. Learn without being clingy about it.
Some, like myself, occasionally whore out their owned fags.
Especially at first, do not DM any slave here that has a lock; that is officially owned. Never.
If that slave reaches out, message the Alpha first.
Once you create a rapport with the Alpha, learn which owned sluts are allowed to & choose to chat, then do so.
Ultimately, conduct yourself so that you are earning the respect of your Alpha peers first and foremost. Always.
5. Find your style.
Emulation is natural. As with any craft, there will be those you look up to.
Take care not to let emulation become imitation. No one likes a copycat.
Find your original voice within the aspects of others you admire.
Ultimately, the most successful Alphas here are such because they are true to themselves.
For instance, I'm a soft-spoken Master. At times, I get harsh, but it's not My innate voice.
I know that, and I stick to it. Others do the opposite. It's about range & authenticity.
6. Build your brand.
A fair bit of domination is marketing. Content is king, engagement is queen, context is god.
Post as often as you can (without spamming). Find a cadence that works.
Few subs are attracted to empty profiles. Post pics. Make vids. Write blogs. Chat publicly.
Engage with others' posts and content, esp Alphas. Care about this community; not just yourself.
7. Set limits, and respect othersâ.
Not every sub will be a match with you. Maybe you hate piss play; piss pigs won't align with your style.
Maybe you want to solely focus on findom. Maybe findom is secondary to you.
Many subs focus on real-time meets, and even within that types of meets (eg dungeon play).
Be clear about your desires, your dislikes, and focus on those with whom your dynamic could line up.
8. Recognize the toll this takes.
Drop is real. The defeat, deflation, or other such blues felt in kink.
It can be sub drop following a heavy drain or kink session.
it can be Alpha drop after 15 timewasters exhaust you mentally.
Maybe your personal life is impacting your motivation to dominate, or create content.
Be mindful of the weight of your work here.
Yes, dominance is effortless.
But domination is hard work. And acknowledging that is crucial to lasting success.
Take days off. Communicate them to your slaves. The real ones will understand.
Likewise, sometimes subs need to step away. Not all Alphas accept that, but it is equally normal.
9. It isn't a competition.
It's easy to get caught up in the points. The Pantheon & slave market positions.
I've been guilty of it, as I'm sure many others are.
Domination (and s********n) are about the intimacy & thrill of power exchange.
Owning a fag is about fulfilling Your Alpha desires together, through their sacrifice & your domination.
Each dynamic is unique. It's own singular bond. No two subs should compete, even serving the same Master.
And no two Masters should compete, because I'll never be Garboss, SkinbossDan, or Fidelio.
They have their styles, their successes, their subs. I have Mine. That's a great thing.
It's the range of kink, and domination.
10. Have fun with it.
I've learned so much about myself through domination.
How sadistic I can be. How compassionate I am.
If you aren't here to enjoy yourself, and create enjoyment for others (even with pain or struggle)
Then you're likely here for the wrong reasons.
Consider this an extensions of "don't do it for the money".
Cheers.
Owned Fags is a male only site which deals with adult themes
You should only view this site if you are over the age of 18, male and are not easily offended.
