They say that a good relationship has its ups and downs, and that the mark of a good one is coming through challenges successfully. Not this one, I’ve fucked off and bolted from the stable. DM’s open 😂
Monday night I was so tired. That bad nights 💤 I referenced in my previous blog, plus the sort of constant reminder of what I’d signed up to had hit home - mentally exhausted from this feeling of constant control. It was an early night . I dropped a message to the boss and dozed off.
Tuesday I was working from home so it felt like it was going to be a quiet day in terms of spending . Turns out , I didn’t actually spend a penny (no pun intended) . I honestly can’t remember the last time I didn’t spend anything at all in a day . There is always something to buy whether it’s ‘needed’ or ‘wanted’!
Normally I get excited about ‘being zero’d’ as part of a drain - this was the opposite . It hit different , but felt like a huge sense of achievement . The boss was delighted and encouraged me. I felt more energised and focused about the rest of the week. We had an awesome chat that evening about how it’s going, and what we want to do next. We both like new ideas and making plans , and are always thinking about the future which I love.
Wednesday I was back in the office. No lunch to be purchased, I could make my own at home and take it with me. That was the first time doing that in more than a decade probably. What should I have? Keep it simple - stick to the classic ham and cheese sandwich and a bag of crisps…. Can’t go wrong. Things had started to normalise , didn’t feel so strange having to ask for the money for the train. No other funds would be required. Straight home after work. Getting into this , the discipline of it. Appreciating the challenges and facing them head on for the boss.
I should mention that SHM’s favourite part of the week was definitely the packed lunch!
I appreciate that for many it’s probably pretty normal to head home after work on a Wednesday, but I usually have drinks or dinner planned after work. The first day after being in London I got loads of comments; what I learnt was that we couldn’t possibly please everyone with this one , everyone’s interpretation is different : too strict , not strict enough , should have done this or that.
We kinda absorbed that info and thought ‘it’s our thing and our relationship , we play by the rules we agreed’, and ultimately as long as we are both happy then we’ve played our part in the trial. Focus on the boss and the task, not everyone else. More than just a lesson from the trial, a nice reminder of a life lesson . That said, the level of engagement and support from the community has been really appreciated by us both.
Thursday was another zero spend day- I didn’t even ask. I actually attempted to cook my own dinner too. Fuck it was dull, and the local sushi place had an offer on!! I didn’t even ask because actually the night before the boss put a couple of hot ideas to me about how the funds he would retain from this trial could be used longer term and it REALLY excited me 🔥. Nice couple of drains that evening too, that would go towards the new idea 💷
Friday was the same. Another zero spend day! I can’t even remember what internet shopping is. Started reminiscing about the days of catalogues: Argos, littlewoods anyone? The day flew by with work and then physio (free from the LTA before a stewards enquiry is started on the cost) in the evening then a couple mates came over and we messed about on my decks and sampler as they’d got me Tine Moore - Never Gonna Let You Go on vinyl (classic U.K. Garage anthem). This TPE lark is a doddle 😂. Starting to think about what percent the boss is going to have retained for the week. I do love the numbers in findom!
I’ve known for a long time that I’m lucky to be in the financial position I am. My lifestyle often drives conversations and a lot of banter with SHM - exclamations of ‘how much?’ are not uncommon 😂. We discuss the cost of things regularly! TPE has been a bit of a reality check for sure. Turns out I rely heavily on spending to achieve the level of day to day satisfaction I need! I like the finer things in life - that includes the best boss 😉.
Final thoughts:
Overall TPE has been interesting, but probably not a great fit for our relationship long term. Being ‘extra’ is a fundamental part of my personality it would seem, and secretly I think the boss quite likes leveraging that !! It’s definitely something I’d be up for doing again, but in small sprints a bit like this trial. It’s a good way to be bought back down to Earth and re-establish deeper control should it ever be needed. I’m honestly not that difficult to handle though 😂
With TPE finished and the boss retaining 74% of my income for the week 🔥, plus our BIG target already at 98%, our next adventure together awaits. We’ll have known each other a year soon. Feels like we’ve come a long way since our first message exchange and send! For fun here’s my first ever message to him :
“Am looking to be humiliated by a lad and do my first ever atm rinse. If decent bants then I want to be made to set up a standing order to a guy that sends me random embarrassing tasks to do from time to time . Let me know if u wanna chat more”.
I read that now and it looks so transactinaI -I think we’ve achieved that and something for more deep rooted and complex!
Thanks again for the amazing support everyone . Very happy to be owned by SHM and to be part of this community. You’ve all made this Switch a happy man, none more so than my Owner SHM though, who I have built a deep bond with, and have the upmost respect for . Findom or friend 🔥
Sunday morning I sat watching ‘Only Fools and Horses’ with a cuppa thinking about the day and week ahead. Has the commitment phobia I experienced in my 20’s returned? How will it feel when I give the money over? I’m suddenly thinking about the times I reduced drinking or quit smoking… trying to rationalise any fear I have about it. What if i see something I really want? Not often I can’t just say ‘YOLO’ or ‘fuck it let’s get it’ - what if I miss out on a bargain?!
Hmmm 🤔 actually, what’s more important ? A ‘thing’ or my findom relationship with SHM. Easy answer really… the ‘thing’ 😂. Joking of course - I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t an incredibly important part of my life. I tell myself to remember that.
The drain to hand over my wages was even hotter than ever. That added feeling that comes with the longevity of the control. That change in thought process, the sensation of handing over full financial control for a week just hit so differently. That feeling of transferring both the funds and power! It made me think and feel slightly differently about SHM - in a good way but I can’t quite find the words? They might come later in the blog - who knows. One thing that won’t be shared here are the numbers - they are private between us for various reasons.
The bond instantly became even stronger. Another new financial tie. Something that genuinely impacts every day life has a special feel, that’s difficult to describe - ‘connection’ doesn’t do it justice! That balance we have between outright friendship and findom gets blurred sometimes - not today! It played on my mind much of the afternoon, like it’s engrained there. What I’ve learnt from our relationship so far though, is that I never regret things I do with him because they are always carefully thought out and considered by us both. Trust and loyalty I’ve always found hot , this just took that up another notch .
Monday morning , bad 💤. Not findom related. Tired and grumpy. Commuting today, always a drag but always good when I get to the office and see people. Me and the Boss know each others routines inside out. I got up a bit earlier than normal and hovered around, waiting for the usual ‘good morning boy’ to come through. There it was, bang on cue. Usual exchanges then it starts… can I have money for the train? Agreed- gotta work as a finsub after all. Before i could even ask, coffee was to be in a flask though. No branded cappuccino extra shot. Fml 🤦
Normally I gap fill a lot of time by watching football or tennis on the tv whilst simultaneously looking at stuff online that I might want to buy. Just noticed I didn’t do that at all yesterday or on the commute 🤔.
I’ve also noticed that every now and then there is a small amount of panic about the situation. Not extreme or anything, but a sort of flutter in the chest. It feels a bit like a craving mixed with mild anxiety. Easily remedied, think Nike … you’re doing this with SHM - someone u trust more than anyone . Phew - crack on with the day.
Lunch was different today. The crew were going to a nice restaurant for a friends birthday . No such luck for me. Found out that Waitrose do a cheap meal deal. Who knew? The control has been exciting. And in typical Nike and SHM fashion kept quite light in style, but absolutely genuine in terms of obedience.
The balance of people’s reactions across platforms has been interesting . It’s ranged from Praise for the sacrifice and taking on the challenge, to being called a loser. I’m comfortable enough in my own skin to shrug off the latter, I don’t do bad for myself after all 😉. Either way i do feel a huge sense of pride making the sacrifice for my owner, even if only at this level for a short time, and no one can take that away 💪
To avoid boring everyone I’ll provide an update at the end of the week picking out any key moments, but for now , with a wet patch in my boxers I’ll leave it there 🔥💷
It’s fair to say that most people know Nike and SHM here. We started our findom journey on Owned and we’ve shared many of our highlights on the way, mainly through wording on tributes and targets .
We’ve continued to develop our findom relationship over the past 10 months or so, trying all sorts of different things. Ultimately all of them have been fun, mainly because we communicate well, set expectations and make sure we are both happy and comfortable with whatever it is we plan.
This week marks something slightly different. With the end of our Big target in site, we have been discussing what to try next. As ever, being creative together is always good fun. I love discussing with the boss new ideas and things that look to the future be demonstrate loyalty and commitment. It keeps things fresh and fun.
After some careful consideration , we are stepping things up once again by continuing to infuse findom into our day to day lives. We are going to try Total Power Exchange (or TPE) on finances for one week. In summary this basically means that I hand over a week’s wages to the Boss and have to ask him for money whenever I might need it. He the decides whether or not that request is needed / essential, or whether it’s a luxury that I should forego for the sake of him, because at the end of the week, any money left over from the wages will be kept by him.
So apart from a pending phone call to finalise a couple of minor points and boundaries, we are all set to go. How am I feeling? Excited ? Yes! Nervous ? Yes! . Will we enjoy the dynamic and power exchange, enhancing our findom relationship? Or will I throw my toys out the pram because I’ve seen a top I like, beg the boss to buy it and he says no? I’ll admit I like to treat myself, and I know what I want when I see it, so this is going to hit very differently! It will certainly feel strange having to ask for basics- money for the train to work , lunch , drinks with friends… what will the boss say? And how will I react?
The control excites me a lot. Let’s find out from Sunday . What I do know is , that if I can do this with anyone , then it’s definitely my owner SHM. Watch this space and wish us luck boys 🔥
As many of you know , SHM and I met down the pub this week for a 🍺, having been building our findom relationship for a few months now. So many people from this community took the time to write to us, to wish us well and remark on what they see when we interact here and our connection. The comments on the photo we posted and in chat have been almost overwhelming and thoroughly appreciated by us both.
Several people have asked if I would write a blog about the meet. Well here it is, but you might be disappointed to know that I won’t be sharing any further details of the day. We shared a pic on the feed, and uploaded a couple of pieces of content on X for you all to enjoy. For me though, the rest of our time together is personal . Those feelings before, during and after are nicely stored safely in my head :-)
Thanks again for being such an engaging and supportive community . I’m very humbled, and really appreciate the many connections I’ve made here, the most important to me being the Boss himself of course - SHM.
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