cynic's blog

A concise vademecum for new Masters

Fill in your profile, remembering to imbue it with superiority, and disdain for all life forms other than Masters. Please don't forget to mention that you don't need money but you want it because it rightly belongs to you only.

Post the compulsory middle finger photo. Better if you manage to get your feet in, and bonus points if you are doing something very dexterous with the other middle finger, such as spinning a basketball or peeling a pineapple (holding your phone doesn't count).

Boast that you are God or God-like or a second cousin once removed of Satan's.


Start messaging random slaves informing them that a new supernatural being is in their midst.


When you get messages, complimenting you on your appearance or on the words of wisdom contained in you profile, do not say thank-you but just answer asking for a tribute: now!

Get in a fight with another Master at the earliest opportunity to prove your masculinity and superiority but avoid turning it into a drama: only fags do drama.

Go into the chat room and make a statement which enforces the natural order, I don't know something like "fags don't have brains"... be creative. You are the brainbox. remember?


When you realise that there are far more Master than tributing slaves, try poaching one or two. Don't forget the Hollandaise sauce.


Set targets for random slaves... someone will be stupid or weak enough to accept it. And when they complete it, remember to never ever acknowledge it or - heaven forbid ! - thank them.

Play hot and cold with your slaves... ignore them or disappear for a while. It is guaranteed to drive them wild and make them loosen their purses' strings.

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