July.
As the month progressed and we get closer to the next meet at the end of the month the VM’s changed. Gone was the friendly way BS37SKIN used to speak to me. It was about me serving and nothing else. I found this so hard to deal with but stupidly said nothing about it. I get to the morning I was meant to get the train over to see the Boss and very nearly didn’t go. My soul was broken. But decided if this was going to end I should at the very least go and do this in person. BS37SKIN deserved my respect if nothing else. The 4 hour train journey was hell. All the thoughts going through my mind of what was going to happen. The time came for me to meet my owner arrived. We went into the hotel room and I just broke down. Explaining how I felt with tears in my eyes. (Just like now thinking about it). To the full credit of BS37SKIN. he let me say everything without interrupting me or getting angry with me. And then he threw his arms around me and apologised for how things had turned over the last 3 weeks. This apology was sincere and heartfelt. We sat and talked everything through. And then he said there would be no play that evening and we should go and get sone food. To my utter surprise he took me to his place of work and another place which means a lot to him before taking me to his home for the evening. We talked more. And I was totally at ease.
The one thing I would say at this point is communication is vital. Both for the Dom and the Sub. We are not mind readers. And the smallest of issues can grow into someone far bigger if we are not careful.
The rest of my week with BS37SKIN could not have been more perfect. We talked lots. And I got to serve lots too. And I got to shower him in gifts for his birthday including all 3 new Rugby Shirts which he had said I would pay for when we first started all this.
August.
The month started off with me sinking in mood. Not because of anything my owner had done. But after having the best week of my life, the realisation I would have to wait until November to see him again.
Try as I did. I couldn’t snap out of this dark feeling I was living. I eventually told BS37SKIN what the issue was and as always he was very supportive. The long period I had to wait was purely down to both of us having a busy few months ahead. I had already been given permission to go away for a week with an old friend which helped and that was all booked in. At the end of August I joined an amazing site (this one) which has helped me through the darkest of days and also brought me so much joy and peace.
September.
3 weeks of the month we’re going to be hard. 1 weeks holiday for me followed directly by 2 weeks holiday for BS37SKIN. Because of this the contact reduced dramatically. But I had my instructions for each day and I was getting by. (Just). I was starting to make new “friends” on here too. And this is where I made the biggest mistake of my owned life. I am not going to go into detail but at a time where BS37SKIN needed my total and utter support the most, I fucked up. I let him down. Although my mistake was entirely innocent, I accept it was a mistake I should not have made. TPE is exactly that. I should have asked permission before I agreed to do something, and I know now, he would not have given permission, for my own good. Not to be hard on me, but because he really cares about his property. I will never forget this, and the impact it had on both BS37SKIN and on me. I am still paying the price for this. Desperately trying to build up the trust he once had in me.
October.
I was in a bad place. I’d made the biggest error in judgement and was now paying the price. Being owned fully is not easy as I said in part 1. It takes real commitment on both sides. I knew I had to prove myself all over again. Only this time it was going to so much harder for both of us. The meeting in November was put on hold. Which I fully expected and did not push for. This was now the time to show BS37SKIN my commitment to him is 100% true and real. It’s so true what they say. You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. Now was not the time to be his faggot but a loyal friend. To show him I fully understand his decision and accept where we are. Did I cry? Only every day, but didn’t tell BS37SKIN. It was not appropriate to do so. Manipulation is not my thing and never will be.
November
We agreed to slowly get things back on track and meet as planned. The conversation in the car back to mine was hard. Taking through my errors all the time. I had no option but to accept this. seeing how much I had let down the one man I love unconditionally and this almost broke me.
I swear the gods were out to test me this weekend. My owner got some bad news when he was with me which again challenged our very existence as a Boss and his faggot. We talked it through over some very good port in London and went to on a tour of something I had booked for BS37SKIN months ago then went back for more port and sorted things out.
December.
What a rollercoaster of a month. Real highs and lows of the dynamic and being ferociously honest sone of the lows were all in my head looking back. I am always saying how amazing BS37SKIN is. And he is. He really is, However. He makes mistakes too. And he is the fist to admit it. Not just to me but he has said as much on this site. This shows he is human too. Even the most perfect owner can forget things and although to me he is my king and a worship him unconditionally, I also have to remember he is human. The life outside of this dynamic also has to take front and centre. We can’t always be there for each other. But we are when it counts the most. Yes. He is a far better person than I am most of the time.I don’t mean in a D/s way. He just is. I am learning to be a better person and a better sub with his help and guidance. Over the last 6 months I have learnt so much about him as a person and I hope I am learning to be a better faggot for him too. Ultimately that’s all I ever wanted to be. A good friend to him and his number 1 faggot which I have last that title and really want it back.
As we enter a new year and this is day 365 of true TPE for me. Let’s all take a moment to reflect on 2023 and see how we can build better connections and keep working at the lows to make them more positive.
A true TPE whilst is rewarding for both the Dom and the sub is not an easy path for either party. It takes real commitment and communication to make this work. This has been one hell of a year. If I didn’t experience some of the lows then I would not appreciate the rest of the time. I hope to learn from my mistakes and make less of them. I’m not going to say I won’t make any in the future, because I’m also human. I have feelings and I know that sometimes I make the wrong decisions based on feelings and not facts.
Throughout the last 2 months I have found owned fags to be a secure place to talk with others (both Doms and Subs without being judged. Made sone good connections along the way. The important thing for me is, they guys on here have supported me through my darkest of days without them realising. The Lazy Lounge is a great place to go to for a natter and some light hearted fun whilst always being respectful to everyone in there. I mean. It would reflect so badly on BS37SKIN if I was anything but respectful. MOA has created an outstanding place to be, a great community where we can all be who we are. (Even if the bogs do stink). I am always open to suggestions on how to become a better faggot. And also if anyone ever feels low and just needs an ear or wants to talk through their lows in this crazy but beautiful world we share.
Please. Everyone, take the time to ask once in while how your Dom or Sub Is feeling. Make sure everything is ok. Even that question can be enough sometimes to show you care. This can be a ferocious world. So showing you care is the most valuable advice I can give anyone.
If you’re the sort of sub who gets upset and down easily. Think very hard before entering into being owned. It can be soul searching and hard at times. Please reach out to the community if you need to. It’s a good place to start. X
Thanks for reading this if you got this far.
As always a very loyal and respectful faggot to his owner. BS37SKIN. here is to a new year and more control exchange. You really are my world.
Right from day 1 BS37SKIN told me it was full TPE or nothing. His masculinity and power was taking over my mind from the moment we first talked. Agreeing to a meet within only weeks was the clincher. Making this real. The first 4 weeks were intense. Hard drains both financially and taking the power from me. Getting deep into my head. Showing me this is not just what he wants but also what I crave.
From day 1 he saw what I craved and knew what I was about and tuned my biggest fetish into my uniform. To be worn at all times outside of work. (Orange Hi-Vis and wellingtons). Showing he knew what made me tick as a sub and embracing that instead of changing me into something that I was not.
The first meet.
Having arranged our first meet on the first week of this new life the day arrived. I can honesty say I have never been as terrified in my life. Obviously in a truly honest and open TPE as this had become I told him this before he set off on the 3 hour journey to meet his faggot. He could not have been more reassuring to me. Telling me everything will be fine and my limits will be respected albeit pushed. Knowing he was on his way to meet his property made my heart race so much I swear it was going to bust out of my body. The fear of what was about to happen was still there but far less. There was no turning back now.
Upon greeting my Owner. (Not just my Master) I was on my knees at his boots in seconds. Showing him my real and true obedience to him. And then it happened. The chain he had got for me was put on. The proudest moment of my life to date. That stupid beaming grin on my face showing him this was all very real for me.
We went out for a shopping trip to Brighton. Obviously paid for fully by me. Levi jeans. Timberland boots. Work boots.The best part was going into the Apple Store and buying a tracker. TPE means just that. BS37SKIN should always know where I am. I asked him to do this. This was me giving up more freedom to show him my devotion is true.
I must admit. I had no idea how to be “me” on this first visit. Didn’t know if this was to be a one off meeting. But stayed in 100% faggot mode. Only sitting down in public once he instructed me to do so. Before he left he shaved my head fully and instructed me to stay that way for ever. I have shaved my head at 9pm every night since.
A’s February went on the control was getting deeper and deeper. Now tracked. I have to ask permission to leave the house. Knowing full well he will know where I am. And a second date in the diary. All my dreams had come true. It was only now, I realised how busy my owner is. Giving up so much of his free time for other people and arranging a second meeting so quickly meant even more to me than he would ever know. Covid gets me in February and without being over dramatic I truly thought it was game over. Multiple times in hospital. through it all. BS37SKIN was there for me. Looking after me, showing real care and getting me through my darkest days.
As we moved into March the rinsing was more often. But more so the power exchange was taking a real turn of events. Now having to ask permission to piss. A real true connection. Going further than I’d ever gone before. Deeper and deeper under his power. And yet all the time feeling more safe and secure now than I’d ever felt in my entire life. Taking over my online life and in real time too. BS37SKIN now has full access to my online profiles and takes no time in changing them to show I am his owned faggot. No longer just a secret between him and me. This is now my proudest moment. To have an owner who is happy and proud to take control of me publicly as well as in private.
April arrives and with it the second meet happens. This time over the Easter weekend. It is now not only his control takes full effect but I realise my trust in him is real and I start to love the man I call Sir. I know what I am to him and will never forget that. But now I know I love this man my devotion gets deeper and deeper. I finally get to purchase the one thing I’ve been craving to do, my owners Season ticket for the rugby. Having a real positive impact on his life. The daily voice mails he sends me keep me wanting to go further and further. It’s all about the connection for me. And he has that true connection with me. As we talk about things outside of all this and get to know each other better. Much more relaxed in his presence too. A true Owner I can be myself with. Brand new uniforms arrive with the logo my owner created for me. Now fully proud to be seen out wearing my owners brand 24/7
May. The power exchange continues. Now I am given Meal times and bed times. My love for him as my owner is now deeply cemented. I never want this power exchange to end. I have a purpose in life. His care for my wellbeing is a true credit to his personality and who he is.
June. A few short weeks until our next meet. Only this time I get to visit my owner on his turf. We discuss chastity. And agree this not something either of us need. He knows I’d never touch myself without permission and even then at cost. My devotion and dedication is stronger now than I ever believed possible. BS37SKIN now controls when I get up. When I eat, when I piss and go to bed. And also when I am allowed out of the house.
I had no idea just how much this life was meant for me. Always thought it was a horny idea but not a reality. BS37SKIN showed me this is just what I was missing. And truly helped me to get here.
Being owned and controlled fully. Is not as easy as it sounds. For either the owner or the owned. I will explain more of that in part 2 how being allowed to join this community has changed a lot for me.
Until then.
Happy New Year Everyone
BS37SKINsfaggot.
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