Responsibility in Domination & s********n

by DorianTheAlpha

This will be a far less prescriptive post.

It is nothing more than thinking aloud.

This post is about findom dynamics, and its impact on a sub. When brash, brazen and sometimes tactless Alphas demand excess, especially from new accounts or new to findom as a whole: they flee. Sometimes that is ghosting, and all too often full account deletion never to return. I'll be the first to admit, I'm guilty of this, especially in My early days as an Alpha. Now as you read this, a natural rebuke is: "if the pussy can't handle Me, then they shouldn't be here." And yes, as Alphas, subs will never know they countless trolls, timewasters, and other toxic trash We endure. And likewise, it is a sub's respsonsibility to hold themselves accountable: understand what is expected before engaging. After all, you wouldn't enter a boxing match without a parry or a punch, but I digress.

So, where is the line between sustainable domination, and negligent cashgrabbing? It is not a set boundary. Some slaves have much to sacrifice and years of experience. For many others, this might be their very first exposure to sociosexual deviance. Even with study & fervour there's still so much you can only learn: sending, submitting, obeying, deferring to a Superior... experiencing findom first-hand.

Alphas constantly hear the same refrain from subs. Something to the effect of, "But Sir, My last experience with findom, an Alpha asked for [insert large number in the sub's opinion] and then ignored Me/blocked Me." Now, they're often telling the truth. Evidently, others lie for attention. Here many Alphas either dial up their chest-puffing demands, or dispose/block the new sub right then and there. 

So here lie the chasm. On on hand, earnest new subs get bulldozed by greedy Alphas who'd rather bark & bite than conjure any real sense of a findom dynamic. And equally if not more so, subs who will lie, cheat, whine and wallow without ever intending to truly serve. In this sea of mistreament from both sides, how does O/one navigate the vitriol?

Now this boils down quite simply: waste is dime a dozen. Great Masters & subs are a precious rarity.

My question becomes: how as an Alpha do you challenge yourself to avoid or overcome this (obviously this excludes consensual humiliation etc)? And more importantly, to the subs reading this, particularly new faces: I know you may have been used, even discarded before. What you don't know is an Alphas scars always run deeper. We deal with more trash than a landfill. So your wound-licking falls on deaf ears. Does this mean you deserve to be railroaded again? No. But does it entitle you to different standards? Even less so. How can you too can overcome these pitfalls?

Toxicity is universal. Alphas will set targets for subs owned by others, and mistreat subs who then leave the scene for good in shame or disgust. Many slaves more will fail targets, timewaste, cheat on their exclusive Alphas, so on and so on. A corny ending perhaps, but let's simply all... be better.

As an Alpha, know the difference between push your slave to thrive, and push your slave to leave.

As a submissive, know that your past & predilections do not warrant your failures or misconduct.

Cheers to all, and thanks for reading. Stay powerful Gents.

Findom Approach: The Abridged Version

by DorianTheAlpha

I have an older post that delves into this in greater detail. Consider this a pocket version.

When you are first approaching an Alpha you want to serve:

1. Send before speaking. Even if only 50 tips. A gesture to prove you're serious, and selfless.

2. Know your Master. Likes, dislikes, style of domination, expectations.

3. Speak clearly, and learn quickly. Always over-communicate unless He says otherwise.

4. Set your limits with Him, and respect His. Within that, obey. Always.

5. Be proactive & creative. Plan, save, earn, send more and please Him however you can.

--

The full version explores these and more in greater detail, but follow these five steps and thrive for your Master.

A Findom Mind Game: Riddles & Rewards

by DorianTheAlpha

Complete these riddles four, then post the answers and see what's in store.

Type out your replies vertically so, and obey the command that forms in tow.

Example:

Reward

Every

Alpha

Deserving

Clear? Good. Moving on. If you've solved each riddle, obey the resulting command. Simple enough, pets. (Mates, happy you're reading).
This was inspired by a thought earlier today.

Riddle 1:

My first three mean to be less, 

My last seven an objective, vocation, test. 

My middle three a lady's title, 

Without Me a slave lay idle. 

My whole the reason for a beta's existence, 

My first, with 'tract', would reduce a distance. 

What am I?

Riddle 2:

My whole is simple, short and sweet. 

A slave must do this for a treat. 

My first three, in pairs, are used to hear, 

My last the first of the word 'near'. 

And that same word's first letter moved, 

Then the riddle's answer at last been proved.

What am I?

Riddle 3:

A simple solve to Maslow's student, 

A dire desire if one is imprudent. 

Not to want, but My words to heed, 

For with that last verb it rhymes indeed. 

Now add a letter for a solve so speedy, 

My whole in fact also rhymes with treaty. 

What am I? 

Riddle 4:

The reciprocal to that which above here came first, 

That for which all true submissives thirst. 

My last five, a confederation of land, 

My whole to submit to a Superior hand, 

New subs in this all too often are nervous, 

But give into it, bliss, and they find their true purpose. 

What am I?

Solve the four riddles, and write them out below one atop the other as explained above. 

Then obey the acrostic, pet, to whichever deserving Alpha you serve. Cheers to A/all.

King, A Findom Game

by DorianTheAlpha

I am sure Y/you all know the drinking card game "Kings". This is similar, with a few small changes, and a single King: the One you serve (or you are, cheers Mate and hello thanks for reading). This game is best played c2c (cam-to-cam), but there's an added element of inventive fun if played over private message (DM) chat, where the Alpha can simply make up what the next card will be (evidently only naming each card once).

Let's begin with the rules, as suited to findom (financial domination):

King, Rules of Gameplay:

Any 2: Send 200 tips. 

Any 3: Send 300 tips.

Any 4: Send 400 tips.

Any 5: If available, the sub rolls a dice, and sends five times that number. 

Example: roll 3, send 150 tips. If not, the Alpha chooses a random multiple between 1-6, and the sub sends 5x that multiple.

Any 6: Dick-related punishment. A personal favourite of Mine involves hot sauce.

Any 7: Free task.

Any 8: List eight things you adore about your Alpha. 

For every hesitation to think, send 50 tips. For any repetition, send 100 tips. If cannot think of 8 things, send 800.

Any 9: Wild card. Personally, I like to lean into the sub's interests here: anal play, sissy plan, piss play, pain play, feet, etc.

Any 10: sub chooses any amount, and sends. This can be a free turn if the tributes are intense.

Any Jack: sub may touch itself for as long as Alpha allows. 

Example: Specific number of strokes, or with set number of fingers, or set time. I like to let it jack so long as it can hold its breath.

Any Queen: Send equal to the sub's age in tips times ten. ie Age x 10 = tips sent. 

Any Ace: Alpha gives sub a task. The sub must send in tips based on how long it takes to complete it in seconds. 

Example: 10 pushups takes 30 seconds. Send 300. As always, x10 factor in play.

Any King: Alpha chooses any amount for the sub to send. Fourth King: Game over.

Enjoy the fun, and would love feedback on gameplay and overall experiences between Masters and slaves.

Reluctance and Deference

by DorianTheAlpha

Reluctance. The creeping hesitation that paralyzes you between taking the leap of faith, and staying stuck in sad frustration. It occurs in all of U/us, but especially in the frail frightened minds of beta boys. New arrivals worry that they do not belong. Experienced senders worry they've gone too far, or for too long, that they should finally leave the scene. There is always a voice in the back of your mind telling you not to. That voice is why I am writing this post today.

Deference. It is a word you almost never hear in kink. s********n, worship, sacrifice, tribute, selflessness, obedience, eager, pathetic, humiliating... of all the descriptors that float around this community, you seldom hear of deference. Why is that? Well, it's an uncommon word, but it so concisely captures how a sub should behave. It is *the* word, if I were to pick only one. If subs should strive for a single trait, it would be deference. So what does it mean? Respect, politeness — yes. Submissive obedience as well. Acquiescence. It is deferring to your Superior, in a noun. It is the embodiment of your Alpha knowing what is best, always. It is the sub trusting its Master.

All too often, and expectedly so, subs will stutter and say, "I'm not sure", "I don't know if I can", and so many other same-sounding apprehensions. Now, don't get Me wrong, you can say whatever you wish to say. But know that in this reticence, you show your Alpha that you do not trust Him, and His vast experience. So, the next time these demons creep up when your Alpha is pushing you within your established limits...

Let go of your reluctance, and trust the latter instead.

Be better. Be different. Be deferent.

Leaving The Right Way

by DorianTheAlpha

I will be brief. A wonderful submissive left My domination today.

It was done with vulnerable honesty, and tribute

With some, I am merciless and cruel. With others, kind & caring.

What matters most is a goodbye with a final gift, in candour, and in grace. 

Selfless sacrifice, even in departure.

Send, speak your truth, and I will always understand. 

Do so, and farewell. As was done perfectly today.

Purity, Compassion and Acceptance

by DorianTheAlpha

Particularly here on OwnedFags.com, as the website name shows, degradation & humiliation are wanton and welcome. They are arguably an integral part of what makes this extremely kinky space what it is. Many here push the bounds of physical, psychological, and sexual a***e in a beautifully consensual way. It brings out the best in the most dominant Alphas and the most submissive betas. It can also create contention.

There is something lost when D/s becomes an exercise in vanity. This is not to disparage leather fetishes, toy play, or any other kink that uses superficial means. Rather, something often missed here is the human element of domination and s********n. Connecting with A/another, and allowing that person to see a side of Y/you that many of U/us shield from everyday life.

I say this first and foremost because My preferred approach to domination is notably softer than many here. Again, I have nothing but admiration & respect for Those who take what is Theirs with a firmer hand. They are among the top Earners & senders here. Rather, I say this so that if a shy and nervous beta reads this, they can see that s********n comes in many forms. I accept a sub that begs Me to insult them, use slurs, a***e them and objectify them. I also cherish in the same way one who wants to serve devoid of humiliation — where the purity of sacrifice is their foremost kink, and desire. Please Me selflessly, and I will always accept you.

For both, and any form of submissive urge, compassion is My priority. There are many kinks I did not know I loved to indulge, that I now suggest to other betas as points of exploration & discovery. I do not aim to have any own "style". I know this to be true of most of the best Alphas here. They are open to their pets' interests, kinks, and respectful of their limits. Within them, I will use My compassion constructively to help you be the best submissive you can be, and to serve My pleasure as truthfully as you can, and I deserve.

In that, as a conclusion of sorts, I will say: forms of servitude that truly put your Alpha first are acceptable, and beautiful. Do not conflate this with topping from the bottom, being manipulative, proffering excuses or otherwise wasting My time. However, true submissive sacrifice, in tribute and all forms of s********n — I will always accept. 

I say this too, without sounding sanctimonious, that W/we can better accept each other. At times Alphas and subs don't align, or even within our respective P/peer groups, W/we disagree. When W/we learn to accept that, and E/each other, this space — in its most depraved and at its purest — thrives.

Cheers to all, and thanks for reading.