Hot Takes
A few thoughts to stir the pot:
Feel free to challenge below (or call out if you find these to not be hot takes/you agree).
Cheers
Selfless sacrifice is a concept that is often discussed, but not always fully understood. It refers to the act of willingly giving up something of value, such as time, money, or personal desires, for the benefit of someone else. This selflessness is the driving f***e behind many acts of kindness and generosity, and it is a powerful f***e for good in the world.
There are many different ways in which people can show selfless sacrifice for others. For example, a parent may sacrifice their own career aspirations in order to stay at home and care for their children. A friend may give up their own plans in order to be there for a loved one who is going through a tough time. A person may even give up their own life in order to save the life of another.
One of the key reasons that selfless sacrifice is so important is that it demonstrates the purest form of submissive obedience. When you are willing to put your Master’s needs before your own, it shows that are willing to do whatever it takes to please them. This kind of selflessness can be incredibly inspiring to other subs, and can help to build strong, positive relationships both in M/s and among your beta peers.
Another reason that selfless sacrifice is important is that it can help to create a sense of community and unity. When there is willingness to put aside your own needs and desires for the benefit of your Alpha, it can help to create a sense of shared purpose and belonging. This is especially important in kink communities, where leading by example sets the cultural tone for a given space. It is why this site is so successful: MOA is fastidious in setting that tone & community right.
In addition to its personal and social benefits, selfless sacrifice can also have significant practical benefits. For example, when you devote your time and resources to your Master, it can have an additive impact on his life. From providing luxury and indulgence to his everyday routine, to offering support and assistance in the menial tasks he can’t be bothered to handle himself. Selfless sacrifice can make a real difference in his world. This is how you earn the privilege of existing in it.
Of course, selfless sacrifice is not always easy. It requires a great deal of courage and self-discipline, as well as a willingness to put your Master first. It can be difficult to put aside your frivolous desires, especially when we are facing your own feeble-minded impulses. However, the sense of fulfillment and purpose that comes from making a selfless sacrifice for your Master is rewarding beyond compare. It is the paramount reason for your submissive self.
In summary, selfless sacrifice is the fundamental concept that drives the growth between a submissive and its Dominant. Whether it is a small act of kindness or a major sacrifice, the willingness to put your Master first and foremost while setting aside your own lesser wants demonstrates the truest form of servitude. In a world that is often focused on self-interest and individual gain, selfless sacrifice is a reminder of the power of s********n brings to kink, to community, and to power exchange play as a whole.
I can t*****e you to brink of sanity, and heal your deepest wounds. My dominance takes many shapes based on each unique dynamic that I undertake. The only universal truth for each and every one: my desires always come first, without exception.
Late to the party here, but Encanto is so good. Watch it.
Coffee was $5. Breakfast was $15. Lunch was $30. Dinner is $50. Wine will be $75. And the weekend plans are shaping up around $200. There is always an expense you can cover in your Master's world, whether partial or in full. The only excuse is the one you invent.
Be useful.
Close your eyes, and imagine my sole pressing slowly down upon your throat... as you gasp through that crushing weight, to thank me for emptying your wallet and abusing your feeble husk. Shouldering the burden of your inferior existence requires more than words can describe. Luckily you don’t need words, when money talks.
One look at these lips, and I rewire your pitiable penis. My mind, now the only thing from which you can derive pleasure. Satisfying my endless desire for more: that is your sole path to sexual release. Time to send, pet. The path is long and winding.
I pity those yet to feel the ecstasy in cumming with my permission at the end of a ruthless drain and vicious kink session... what are you waiting for?
What I most savour in power exchange is the carnal secrets that subs share with me... truths that would upend family life, or work, but a profound trust rightfully placed in me allows for a bond that cannot exist elsewhere. That is my gift to every sub that serves me.
Goodnight to the virgin losers whose pindicks only harden for triple-digit drains. I'll brand the words "good boy" onto your psyche... and become your sole pleasure.
Bourbon will always have my heart.
Sometimes I marvel at myself and think… “Yeah, I’d send to me too.”
I want you struggling to press send, but obeying all the same because you know that your pain is my pleasure: show me how badly it hurts.
Don’t tell me what you will do. Do it, then thank me for the privilege. Proactivity > empty promises. These are the ways you please me.
The reason you send is because I exist.
This is not pay-for-play. I reward you when & how I choose. Serve well, without condition or expectation. Those most rewarded are the same whose innate purpose to please me: the proactive, consistent, doting pets who put my desires first.
10 Signs You Are A Toxic Dom
by DorianTheAlpha
I just wrote one of these about toxic subs. I often hear from subs that it is a tricky thing to criticize those on the dominant half of this community. All too often, those comments are dismissed or even derided, because they are just "slaves", and should shut their trap. So, to that end, as an olive branch of sorts, I've considered some things I have seen firsthand from the worst among Alphas both here and elsewhere in financial domination and kink. If you are regularly guilty of these, you are a toxic Dom. I have done more than one of these, and more than once. I have certainly had my toxic moments, especially early on while cocky and still learning the ropes. Recognize your faults and your failures, and use this as a guide to not only be better as a Master to your submissives, but as a member of this community.
1. Doxxing & Hostility
This one is the same; it cuts both ways. No Dominant entrusted with their sub’s information should ever reveal those details, or act negligently with it. True b*******l is a crime (extortion). The idea of ruin/homewrecking fantasies is acceptable when practiced responsibly and consensually, but all too often that kink is done wrong, and puts real lives in harm’s way. If you cannot dominate responsibly and without hostility, then leave. That isn’t power, that’s pathetic. There is no place for that here on this site or anywhere in findom & kink communities.
2. Poaching
Don’t poach subs. Just don’t. It is natural for some subs to want a new Master over time, discover a better fit, etc. These are all relationships at the end of the day. The line can sometimes be blurred, I will admit. But poaching is poaching. And you know when you are doing it. I’ll define it here for those still unclear: do not ever attempt to seek tribute, s********n, or other such favours from an owned sub (as defined on this site by a lock symbol with a Master’s stable to its name). Always speak with that Master first and get their explicit permission if you sense a supplemental fit with a sub, which happens plenty often. Co-ownerships, loan dynamics, and session play are all healthy parts of an owned sub’s fluid servitude with their Master’s approval. Keywords: with their Master’s approval.
3. Disrespect
I’ve been guilty of this one. We all have tempers. Some more than others. There are those here who despise me (and I can be a bit much at times). Regardless: treat your fellow Alphas with respect. Treat subs, within the framework of kinky banter and bdsm, with basic human decency when it matters. Disrespect sucks the fun out of this community, and at the end of the day that is what this is: a community.
4. lllegality
Again, this cuts both ways as with subs: do not suggest illegal acts or substances with your slaves, ever. Especially do not do so on this website, where MOA works so hard to create a safe playground for our collective deviance. People can lose their jobs, their families, their lives. It sounds extreme, but those who have been around long enough know that sadly it happens to even the most experienced among us when things get out of hand, even for only a moment. That’s all it takes. Keep it legal, at all times.
5. Rejection
Much of domination is tied to one’s ego. Success feeds into it. Tribute and luxury lead to the expectation of a certain lifestyle. The comforts in having servants for your every whim & desire is a treat. However, if/when subs decide to leave: that is normal. Most dynamics do not last forever. Most dynamics are single sessions, or short bouts of servitude. A seldom few last longer, for months or years. Learn to handle rejection. Better yet, embrace it, even if that means accepting you don’t cater to everyone. I am the farthest thing from a skinboss, or a gay sex-driven Alpha. I provide an allure to those who want the Master that I am, and the domination that I offer. Simple: subs can say “no”. Deal with it.
6. Burnout
This might not fit the strictest definition of toxicity, but exhausted Masters tend to be the most impatient, sloppy with their approach, and quick to frustration with their subs. Know yourself, and know when it’s time to take a step back, to rest up. Everyone has their off days. Avoid burnout. We are at our best with all things in balance.
7. Pandering
This, while rare, is the bane of so many Masters’ existence: do not pander to toxic subs. When you indulge topping from the bottom (see my previous post on toxic subs if unclear here), you exacerbate the issue. Whiny twats ought to be disposed for the whiny twats that they are. Nothing more. Deep pockets cause Alphas to abandon their principles for a quick cash grab. Don’t. This is supposed to be fun, kink-driven power exchange. Some might disagree here; say it’s all about the money, no matter what. I say, “it matters what”. And the money is often what makes this fun, when done right. But lowering yourself to a sub’s every whim is not financial domination, and it is the farthest thing from dominant. If anything, it’s supplicant.
8. Sanctimony
The irony of this point following the last is not lost on me. All the same, don’t be a sanctimonious prick. We all generally agree how power exchange & financial domination happens. Some don’t. Some differ on the little things. Just because you see a dynamic occurring in a way distinct from your view of correct etiquette or approach, does not make you the grand arbiter of kink. And if you still feel compelled to comment, then do so kindly & constructively. No one likes a self-righteous absolutist. The range of perspectives & practices is part of why this place is so great. Let’s keep it that way.
9. Maturity
There is a reason that “ch-ild” is a banned word here. Don’t be one. This builds upon the notion of being able to handle submissive rejection; you will have plenty of conflict and friction in practicing all types of domination. Those who have succeeded here longest & most triumphantly continue to do so because they know who they are, they conduct themselves accordingly, and with utmost maturity. Conversely, the worst subs and least admired Doms often earn that reputation quickly because they stir up trouble and are among the least mature here.
10. Patience
This one is two-fold, and many may not agree with my second point here, but I suppose that is why blog’s are fun. Feel free to comment, especially if you disagree. Patience is key for all Masters, but especially Alphas new to the game. Have patience with your domination. Be patient with finding your tone, your brand, your following. Take it all as it comes, and learn from it. It’s easy to think you know it all on day one, or that you will skyrocket to the top. I’ve covered tips for new Masters in another post.
That said, there is a patience specific to new subs that matters for this community. Now, it is hard to tell when a sub is genuinely new (and not some relapsing worm). And some Masters still don’t care, which is normal and acceptable. Some Masters do not accept conversation prior to a show of resolve (usually tribute). I’d humbly argue that, to an extent, productive introductory conversation is part of what makes findom thrive at its best. So, if you so choose, have patience as a Dom. More often than not, when you learn to judge sub’s with some intuition, it pays off. Literally.
As always, I hope to see your comments and reactions below. To my dominant readers, stay powerful gents.
10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub
by DorianTheAlpha
It has been a long time since I’ve written a blog post. I try not to retread the same old thoughts I have covered before here; I invite you to read my other entries on topics like tips for newcomer subs, newcomer Masters, among other themes in kink. Today we will address something unfortunately ever-present in power exchange: submissive toxicity.
Now, let me say at the outset: this does not suggest Masters are not also at fault sometimes. It is possible for Doms to be toxic too. That is a post for another day. Here, I address common behaviours that all subs show at some point — these are signs you are being toxic. A good sub can have a toxic moment. Even the best owned subs slip up. It does not mean you cannot improve. Instead, use this as a reminder to be better. Grow & learn constantly to serve your Master as best you can. These are in no particular order, though personally I would say those highest on the list are the most egregious.
1. Doxxing & Hostility
To dox someone is to reveal their real identity online. If you even feel the hint of an urge to do this: don’t. Never threaten violence, or be hostile. If you feel that level of anger & aggression do to some slight in kink or your dynamic: walk away. This space is not for you if you cannot handle its intensity. Many people here keep their kink lives separate & secret from their career, family, and personal sphere. Any kind of hostile act towards your Dom, any Alpha, or any member of this community is unacceptable. This one should be self-evident.
2. Illegality
Many illegal actions are desirable. Substances, sex acts, even demographics. Regardless, never suggest or bring illegal activities to your Alpha. For some, sex work is their full-time career. For others like myself, this is a supplementary outlet to express my dominant self. When you suggest illegal things, you jeopardize that space. Deviant fun can be legal and still be plenty daring.
3. Topping from the Bottom
This is when a sub attempts to exert their desires and demands onto their Dominant. It reverses the power exchange: the Master is instead performing a “dominance fantasy” according to the conditions of their submissive role-play leader. Hence, topping from the bottom. This is the worst form of selfishness. Now, you can have submissive desires. And especially with single session play, it is important to voice them to your Dominant. However, in power exchange, your role is to please your Alpha first and foremost. If you have desires, there is a correct way to communicate them. That is not topping from the bottom. So speak properly, humbly, and when in doubt defer to your Master. Don’t be a selfish twat.
4. Inability to Handle Drop
This is most applicable to financial domination, but applies to other intense forms of session play like pain certain sex play. Drop, or sub drop, is a form of guilt and regret that can be all-consuming after intense sessions. In the throes of submissive obedience, you may send more or suffer more than you expected. Some of your limits may be tested. This leads to a lurching depression for many who are new to the feeling. It is your responsibility to manage it. Many Alphas offer guidance, aftercare, and compassion. Some do not. It is not our job to be your therapist. I personally tend to do so, but it is wrong to expect it from your Dominant. This is an adult space, between consenting parties. Behave as such.
5. Jealousy
If I need to explain this one at length, you are the problem. Do not be jealous another sub is sending more, receiving more time with your Alpha, getting more attention in the chat. This is about Alpha pleasure. If you are envious of others, work harder & serve better to achieve those same goals. Better yet, find the maturity to realize that you should only measure yourself against your own servitude.
6. Submissive Poaching
This is a rare case, but does sometimes happen. Never poach other owned subs from another Master to come and serve your Alpha. This is the equivalent of an Alpha poaching a sub; it is no better and just as atrocious. If a sub is unhappy, that is between them and their Master to resolve. An owned dynamic (as defined on the site; not “grey/open” dynamics etc) should always be treated with utmost sanctity and respect. Even between owned subs.
7. Nuisance
Owned or new, don’t be a dick (or a little s**t). There is a reason this is one of the tenets of the chat room, and it extends to private conversation. Don’t play dumb. Don’t be a brat, or rude. Many Masters will converse and dominate subs who have little to send, but speak soundly and offer entertaining banter. Don’t be a nuisance.
8. Over-investing
This is a two-parter, and both matter equally. Do not invest more financially here than you can afford. Doing so is on you if it happens. Never blame your Alpha for your own lack of self-control. Secondly, do not over-invest emotionally. Some Masters dominate with sexual overlap, and sometimes even romantic overlap. This is still kink in power exchange. Don’t let your M/s get messy. Don’t over-invest.
9. Deletion & Relapse
This isn’t even necessarily that annoying, it is just so predictable. Subs who can’t manage the above, generally are those who delete, and come back crawling under some new pseudonym. The relapsers. I suppose it helps that you pay a join fee each time you create an account here. Still, it’s transparent, and laughable. Best avoided if you hope to be a sub in good standing here among Alphas and your fellow subs.
10. Manipulation
The last point here is a broad stroke generalization for all the gaslighting, excuse-making, and other such vapid waste that subs spew in their squabbles with an Alpha. This isn’t a relationship of peers. This isn’t a negotiation. This is kink, s********n, and servitude to your Master. We have heard it all, and we see your pathetic tricks coming a mile away. Save it.
Avoid these my sweet pets if you do not want to be a toxic sub to your Master.
Serve well, and to my Dominant readers, stay powerful gents. Comments and questions, as always, are welcome.
Ownership
When a sub joins a Master's stable, they become owned. The Master can read the sub's messages, chat logs, see their tip totals and who they've sent to. The Master can throw the sub in the dungeon at their sole discretion, and control their block list. It involves surrender of control, trust, and a mutual understanding of the power dynamic at play. It is intense. It is earned. It is the height of s********n. The summit of sacrifice. Some Masters own several subs. Some only own a few. Some choose never to grant that supreme privilege to a sub, for whatever their reason. When a sub proves worthy to carry their Master’s name, they become an extension of their Dominant. They represent them. An owned sub is held to a higher standard, expected to behave with a certain decorum to all Alphas, not just their Keeper.
When I see ownership happen in the first hour of joining this site… I can’t help but feel it cheapens the point of it all. Now, sometimes you 'just know'. That's fair. But that is few and far between.
I say this not to scoff at other styles of domination or s********n; the last thing we need is more in-fighting. I say it as a suggestion to the Masters here: let subs explore, take this in, find their footing. If you are interested in a sub, you can still establish commitment from them without jumping into ownership prematurely. An easy stepping stone is adding to a sub's profile that they are serving a certain Alpha exclusively in the hopes of becoming owned. A clear and concise way to signal to all their intent, while still valuing the sanctity of ownership. I wrote about this in the feed directly not long ago, to a few thoughtful replies. And I'll say again as I did then: we don't need more features, we don't need more safe spaces (that's just my opinion here, I know others disagree). We need all of us to respect the quality of real, fun, meaningful M/s over toxic cash grabbing. And I say that as a Master who's primarily into findom (or has been historically put: the cash collector). If you disagree with me: feel free to say so below (with civility). Let's keep this place great.
Cheers.
10 Things Specific to Online Financial Domination
by DorianTheAlpha
#1 - Discipline
No, not the kinky kind. I’m talking about self-discipline. It’s easy to be motivated at the start, or after a heavy drain, maybe you’ve just owned a new fag or two. Not everyday will be motivating. Some days this might even feel like work, down right discouraging. Discipline is what separates the flashes in the pan from the those who stand the test of time (this is true for Dominants and submissives).
#2 - Communication
Online domination is noisy. Very noisy. Being a strong communicator is a key part of succeeding here, but that doesn’t mean being everywhere all the time. Be thoughtful about where you want to focus your own energy, and in those places: be responsive. With your fellow Alphas, with owned fags, with loyal sluts: make time and be thoughtful in your replies. A stale dynamic rarely lasts long. M/s is above all a relationship.
#3 - Decisions
I wrote this point specifically for Alphas new to online scenes. Timewasting: when a sub seeks free attention without any intention to serve you. The more I consider the idea, the more I realize it presumes an Alpha does not choose how to spend that time. When you indulge a timewaster, you the Alpha spend that time wastefully. It’s important to get to know potential servants. See: communication. Decide with intention, and stand firm by your choices while also…
#4 - Learning
Ultimately, the decisions you make are based on judgment. I’ve made decisions I later changed (past blogs, notably). There is a difference between flip-flopping a choice, and growing as a Dominant. No one is above improvement, and yes even as Alphas we can and are sometimes wrong. Whether it’s a fellow Master, a seasoned sub, or a brilliantly written borderline Nobel-prize-winning calibre blog — there’s always more to learn.
#5 - Responsibility & Ethics
I often hear from Alphas that it’s the sub’s responsibility not to self-destruct. And this is true. Ultimately, kinks like findom are power exchange between two consenting adults. That said, the best dynamics here exist because the Master & slave trust each other, deeply. Be responsible with your subs. Be ethical in your domination. Now, you can still leave a bitch battered, bruised, mouth full of ash, piss, spit, and weeping in a way that they fully consent to & even thank you for while begging for more. Intensity & extremes can and should still be responsibly, ethically carried out.
#6 - Community
Is the cash fun? Obviously. Do you know what’s more fun? The people that make this place great.
It’s called power exchange, not tips exchange. If you *need* the money, then you’re starting this for the wrong reasons (that’s just My perspective). If you’re only interested in heartless cash grabbing, you’re going to grow bored quick regardless of your success. Community is what makes OF, more than anything else.
#7 - Respect
Rule 1 - don’t be a dick. And it is rule #1 for a reason. That goes for Masters to Masters, Masters to fags, and fags to fags (obviously most of all fags to Masters). There’s plenty of Alphas here who use a sharp, punitive tone, while also doing so respectfully. Respect doesn’t have to be soft, or cuddly. I don’t agree with all of you. I don’t even like some of you. But being a toxic twat is a surefire way to alienate yourself or worse get banned from the site. Be better. Respect everyone.
#8 - Start
Unsure whether you’ve got what it takes to dominate online? Try it. Do it. Open your account. Verify, read the rules, and dive right in. Worried messaging subs will make you seem weak? Write them. Send PMs. Test what works best. You can only get better. This is the cliché classic “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. It’s especially true of the online space where you’re just an avatar and a handle until you make yourself more than that. So make yourself more than that.
#9 - Stop
I don’t know who told you to start but that was a horrible idea. Stupid.
I joke, but the notion that you need to be always-on and constantly grinding will burn out the best of us. Taking breaks matters. Prioritizing your health & wellness matters. Remember that there’s more to life than the next tip notification or Pantheon climb. Stop and smell the roses. Call your grandma. Read a book. There will be subs & sending aplenty when you return. This message was brought to you by someone who is constantly failing at this particular point and in general maintaining work/life/kink balance.
#10 - Give Back
Donate to the site. There’s no elaboration here. The man’s growing a moustache for a good cause. If you haven’t put up for it: donate. Men’s health is no joke and last I checked we all had a cock between our legs.
Don’t forget to like & subscribe. New merch available soon. (This is a joke)
At the behest of our most dear MOA, a fictional short (given my non-fiction at best gets mixed reviews)...
Some stories begin about a quiet girl, moving to a small rainy town. Vampires hide in plain sight. Tribal werewolves are stolid custodians of the land for generations long since passed. Love and lust fuel conflict and calamity, where the only thing more powerful than fleeting life is love's immortality. This is not that shitty story. No, this tells a far more gripping tale... one of obedience, of struggle, and of two owned fags quarrelling on command.
It all begin in the dead of the night. A man, some say more than that, had been out at the pub. It'd been a long day in a longer year, and the evening's end whispered. Though he spends his day working, he couldn't help but drift back to it for a quick chat. Sure enough, some light banter was afoot. A sissy and a tame fag were exchanging pleasantries. The banality of it all simply did not suit the Supreme. He stepped in swiftly, "Sos. Subcorey. The two of you will duel. I want to know whom among these lowly bottoms would be the top. Amuse the Master of all." The soft music that wandered through the café's dim lit air stumbled to a halt as the vinyl's needle fell out of the groove. The barback, a long-time member of the café by the name coloslutty, stopped breathless as he wiped the countertops.
MOA's voice boomed, "All the tables to the wall. I want a space in the middle. Time for some fun..."
The two slaves knew what was to come next. Sheepishly, they stripped down to the nude. The café snickered with laughter in anticipation. In the corner, stood a brooding figure, chomping a thick, long, dark cigar. Clad in leather, only two steely eyes cut their way across the room. He gave MOA a nod. No more was needed. In the other corner, a headless figure sat, with his pen floating across the page. He seemed to be noting the events at hand. He too gave MOA that same knowing nod.
Permissions set. There would... a tussle. The naked fags stood just a few paces apart. The café tense with eager excitement.
Seconds of silence felt like hours. An entire room of baited breaths... and then, "Begin!" MOA sternly shouted.
With a feral pounce, sissy lunged beneath corey's lumbering arm, to quickly take his back. Regardless of being lowly slaves, watching two men wiggle and writhe in struggle had the whole room in heat... whispers of approval quickly turned to bellowing cheers, save the two respective owners who watched on in silence. The sissy clung the corey's buxom chest, but the Canadian faggot used every ounce of his heft to shake off the dainty damsel. Losing no time, the slut leapt back at corey, wrestling face to face, their lips just inches apart. Seeming half dance, half distress both fags' little cocks quickly began to twitch. Despite the hunger to win, it was obvious everyone in the room was savouring the ecstasy at play. With a burly toss, corey picked up the sissy and tossed her to the floor, landing on top of her. That heavy stomach pressed down on her delicate frame, but her lithe limbs kept his control at bay. Mounted, the little whore seemed almost wanting the thick fag to press down upon her, but she knew she needed to win for her Master. A quick twist of corey's dicklet, and he squealed in agony... quickly MOA stated, "I'll allow it."
With corey's tiny cock in the slut's hand, she knew that leverage would be her only way to victory. A barreling leg struck away the sissy's grasp, and corey crawled back up to his knees. Sweat began to sprinkle the floor. Two alabaster bodies glistening as the sheer endurance of tussling began to set in... Sheepishly, the sissy ambled forward toward corey gasping for air. In reply, corey hardly managed to defend her assault. The only body parts clearly still at the ready were their puny cocklets, now leaking precum across the café floor mixing in with the many droplets of sweat...
Through the crowd, came a mountain of a man. Strangely, he was naked wearing only a pendant on a string. A piercing sapphire amulet with cyan and white rings.
MOA ceased the fighting, "Stop. Chub stands before us. Chub... say what you must."
The towering titan spoke, "Why not bumper cars instead?"
And then they played bumper cars and neither won. The end.
FFS Communicate
by DorianTheAlpha
This may be the most self-evident blog ever written, and yet: here goes.
I often say there’s very little that communication & tribute cannot together solve.
The funny thing is: if you can’t tribute, what’s the very first thing to do?
Communicate that.
Communicate what you can & cannot do.
Communicate who or what you are, and are not.
Notably, communicate if you’re into realtime, online, or both.
List the kinks you like on your profile.
Don’t list kinks you don’t like (you’d be surprised how often this happens).
Communicate with your Master.
Communicate with other slaves.
Communicate with MoA via the Contact Us section (constructively).
If a limit is breached, say so to your Alpha.
If a kink feels unexplored or sidelined, bring it up.
If a change in your personal life happens, share it.
If you’re simply feeling down, or horny: be clear about it.
If you want more tasks, targets, or simply more chat — it’s a word away.
Now speaking up doesn’t mean whining, complaining, rudeness, or petulance.
The best communication is selfless, humble, concise, and human.
Banter, jokes, cheeky fun, vanilla conversation all make lasting M/s well, last.
Now obviously some matters are sensitive, and we aren’t all the same.
Some of us are quiet, to the point. Other less so, case in point yours truly.
We won’t all say it in the same way. That’s what’s great about this place.
But holding back, lying by omission, being vague or playing dumb,
Worst of all ignoring something altogether… just don’t. Be better.
For fuck’s sake: communicate.
My name is not actually Dorian, but I do approve this message.
Oh and pop into the chat if you like, or don’t. But it’s good fun.
10 Tips for subs New to OwnedFags
I recently wrote a similar piece for new Masters.
This one is specifically for submissives new to the site. Read up & enjoy.
Feel free to DM if anything below is unclear.
If you approach Me inquiring about this article, I won’t presume you want to serve Me.
Note: some Alphas will disagree. Ultimately, s********n is about serving your Alpha.
So do what they want first and foremost. This is simply a basic set of guidelines.
I’m well aware of the similarities to the Alpha version; it’s meant to be a converse piece.
1. Read the rules.
Read the website rules. Read about kink, about D/s ownership.
Read up on findom.
If your Alpha commands a kink or task you don’t know: ask about it. Learn about it.
Don’t play dumb. It’s see-through.
Everyone starts somewhere. You are born with the purpose to worship your Superiors.
Thrive in that purpose exuberantly, within the guidelines set for this community.
The only tribute allowed here are those sent with OwnedFags tips. No other tribute methods allowed. Period.
2. Do not waste time.
I almost put this first (but reading the rules is truly critical).
Simply put: don’t waste an Alpha’s time. Don’t waste anyone’s time.
Can Alphas be pushy or talkative too? Of course. That’s not an excuse.
It’s important to get to know each O/other. That’s not an excuse.
As a sub, the onus is on you to be useful and earn an Alpha’s presence. Always.
Send before speaking, even if only a beer (which represents 50 tips or £5).
If an Alpha reaches out, don’t drag on the conversation. Serve, or decline.
Here is a short list of common excuses that signal to an Alpha a sub is time wasting:
* Scared to serve because a past Alpha mistreated or manipulated them.
* Unsure how all this works, so needs you to explain every little spoon-fed detail.
* Leads the chat with their own desires, especially time-intensive ones like cam or real-time.
* Wishes they could serve, but has to ask their other Master offsite.
* Wants to get to know you, then after a short exchange, vanishes once time to serve.
* Would definitely tribute, except their jobless or a student, so don’t have the money.
Which leads quite naturally to:
3. Tribute. 99.9% of dynamics will require it.
There are Alphas who dominate without requiring tribute. It’s an extreme rarity.
More so, you should still be offering them gifts to show gratitude.
So tribute. Be useful. Be proactive.
Every day, your sacrifice restarts. There is no entitlement. There is no earned credit.
Be clear what you can afford. Then push yourself to the very edge of that limit, for Him.
Findom is about power exchange through currency transfer. Much like bondage is through mobility transfer.
It's just another vector for a submissive to surrender to its Dominant, whether in session or lasting servitude.
For almost every Alpha —especially this website’s community— it’s essential.
s********n is sacrifice. Sacrifice hurts. That’s the point. And it’s clearest with tribute.
4. Communicate.
If tribute is the heart of s********n, communication is the brain.
Have a request? Tell your Master.
Found a new limit? Tell Him.
Feeling regret, guilt, sadness, worry from sub drop? Share it.
Feeling horny, eager, masochistic, desperate? He will use it.
Not interested in an Alpha’s DM? Tell them by declining politely.
Do not ghost. Do not leave an Alpha on read. Be better.
Learn how your Alpha likes to be referred to. Use it.
Does He want certain words in ALL CAPS, or Capital Case, or $tylized perhaps?
Do the little things (on top of the fundementals).
I have yet to encounter an instance that cannot be solved with tribute and communication.
Sometimes only one is needed. Often some combination of the two.
5. Respect every Alpha. That doesn’t mean be boring.
D/s is a simple acronym to portray that every Dominant is above any given sub.
As such, owned, new, seasoned, cynical, or otherwise: respect every Alpha.
That means be courteous in chat. Reply in DMs.
A simple “Sorry [Sir/Boss/Master/God] but I am not interested. Have a good day.” goes a long way.
That doesn’t mean you always have to tiptoe around Alphas, or feel scared to engage.
Chat with Us. We may poke fun. We may taunt. That’s part of the D/s community.
It will teach you about the Alpha mind, and about yourself.
An Alpha is usually more generous with an amusing slave than a vapid cunt.
6. There are many types of subs. Know what you are.
There are owned subs who live to serve their one true Master.
There are owned sluts who are loyal to a Master, but serve many.
The Master knows this, and sometimes even encourages it.
There are community/session whores who serve freely, to all.
Some subs like the games here. Others enjoy camming. Some love tasks.
Some subs fuck their Alphas non-stop. Some live at the glory hole.
Others are straight & married to women. Others are asexual.
Subs clean apartments. Subs get filmed tied up in dungeons.
Kink is a massive spectrum. For every sub, exists an Alpha.
If you’re completely new to BDSM, take a kink quiz online.
Once you know what you want, and what you are:
7. Express your wants & limits clearly.
Lasting s********n begins with finding the right fit.
Many Alphas reach out to new slaves.
Verify your account.
Complete your profile.
If you just took the aforementioned quiz, post the results to your profile.
Add as much *concise* detail as possible. No one wants to read a brick of text.
Be clear about the type of Alpha or dynamic you enjoy.
Be clear about any limits, experience, and considerations you have.
If you’re stuck, go to the Slave Market and observe the top slaves’ profiles.
Do not copy them.
Use them as a reference to construct your own original thoughts.
8. You will fail. Learn from it.
I’ve seen spectacular fuckups from subs.
And smaller day-to-day mistakes.
This might be an innocent hiccough, or a willful blunder.
Either way. To revisit #2, the best apology is said with tribute.
Then own your failure, and explain to your Alpha you know what went wrong.
Moreover, explain how you will improve, and grow.
Then commit to that growth, and do not repeat your mistake.
9. Building dynamics takes time.
For every Alpha you crave, there will be others that demand your servitude.
For every Alpha you serve, there will be others you crave.
For the Alpha who owns you, you may want to also serve others.
I cannot speak to numbers here.
I’ve never discussed this with My subs to know how many Alphas reach out.
It’s a part of being a useful sub. It’s appealing to other Alphas to see a slave serve its Master.
So, be useful, and be prepared for it to be noticed.
10. It isn't a competition.
It's easy to get caught up in the points. The Pantheon & slave market positions.
I've been guilty of it as an Alpha, as I'm sure many others are on both sides.
s********n (and domination) is about the intimacy & thrill of power exchange.
Finding the right Alpha for you isn’t just about W/who’s on top (pun intended).
Is success attractive? Obviously. Does it signal a certain experience? Generally.
Are those in the Pantheon top 25 on here regularly, and actively? Almost always.
Use points as a general indicator, not as an ultimate measure.
I know lasting ownerships for Dominants who aren’t “famous” here.
And I know subs who serve sublimely but aren’t top of the slave market.
As much in finding your Alpha(s) as in measuring your own success serving them.
If your Master is pleased, you will know.
If your Master is displeased, you will definitely know.
Celebrate other subs’ serving Him well. That’s the point. Don’t be jealous.
Those are your beta brothers, serving your Alpha: his desires fulfilled.
That’s all that matters.
Obvious bonus: The reality is unique to you and your Alpha (and have fun).
This article is a general guideline: you should serve, obey, and listen to your Master(s).
As I’ve said: kink is vast. The same goes for ownership, session play, and everything in-between.
If you aren’t happy, tell your Alpha. If he is unhappy, do all you can to learn why (if unclear).
Then fix it. If it doesn’t work, He can remove you from His stable, or you can leave yourself.
Don’t delete your account. This place isn’t nearly as scary as it seems. It’s a beautiful community.
Stick around, and remember:
s********n is between you and Him. Everything else here is secondary.
This isn’t a place for friction or frustration. It’s about pleasure.
Finding pleasure in pleasing your Master.
Cheers.
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