For a genuine sub, the act of submitting money to an Alpha, with the expectations of nothing in return, just an offering... can be the most invigorating and rewarding experience. The task is to learn to decipher the genuine deserving Alphas from the opportunists & chancers.
In a discussion in the chatroom, MasterTrigger asked me to tell the story of an experience I'd had that taught me to never judge a Man by the cover.
Do I prefer tall men over short? Or muscled men over slim men? The answer for me is that none of that matters. Not when it comes to s********n.
I thought it would be an idea to repeat the story in a blog, so hear goes...
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I was contacted on a site called slaveboys some years ago, by a man who was into corporal punishment, and liked to treat subs like 'naughty schoolboys'... not something I was into at all, but his message hit something. He asked for my phone number, and he called me. His voice and how he spoke to me took me instantly into a powerful submissive state...
He called a me a few times, calling me a naughty boy as he spoke gently with absolute authority. A deep and very calm voice that got deep into my head. But it wasn't just the voice. It was how he spoke to me with total authority.
I agreed to visit him, as it was 20 miles away.
I went on the agreed evening, but I had no idea what he looked like... I'd not seen a photo of him.
When he opened the door, he was about 68, short, very overweight, thick glasses, and a comb over. Quite an unappealing sight....
He beckoned me in, having told me beforehand to wear a white shirt and tie. He told me to put some shorts on that he had for me to wear... the whole schoolboy thing was as he wanted it.
I stood in his kitchen with him in front of me, and he began talking softly to me.
I immediately went into a very deep submissive state from his voice and words, how he spoke to me and what he said.
I responded as if a was a small boy, as that's how he made me feel.
He took me upstairs and had me lay over his lap for a spanking, to punish me for being a naughty boy
I actually felt like that, and felt i deserved it. He'd got so deep into my mind, and was in total control.
He lay on the bed and had me stroke him, then told me to just lay quietly beside him. He put his arm around me and held me, continuing to talk softly to me, with complete authority...
I went into such a state of deep s********n that I began crying and started sobbing like a babe.
I'd never before experienced such deep submissive feelings.
When it was over, we went to the kitchen and chatted normally. He told me about himself, and he was such a nice man.
I was desperate to see him again.
This taught me to NEVER judge a Man by the cover. Never.
A sexy voice is just a sexy voice. Muscles are just muscles. A handsome face is just a handsome face.
He had no physical appeal, whatsoever. Quite the opposite!
It is the character and authority of the man inside that makes it work.
There are many men with good looks, muscles, a sexy voice, who simply don't have it.
He had all that he needed.
But it doesn't tell us anything more than that.
A few days ago on Facebook I had one of those historic posts pop up from two years ago where I talked about having seen a cheap 10-days holiday in Corfu. Friends on Facebook had encouraged me to book it, as I'd not had a holiday in many years. A few weeks later, I came under my current Master, and the holiday was briefly discussed. He instantly decided that it wasn't going to happen, which I was partly sad about, but at the same time it helped me to focus on my new priorities. It did me a lot of good.
I showed this historic post to him the other day, as the post was funny, with me having thought that the holidays on offer in the travel agent window were all to Manchester and Birmingham, not having realised that those locations were the airports they were flying from. 🙄
He then asked if I wanted a holiday. It was obvious that he would have allowed it if I said yes. However, I instantly said no, as I would have to save a lot to have a holiday because of my low income, and it would be his money I'd be using.
My relationship with my Master is not about how much money I can hand over to him, but it is about how much I can sacrifice for him in my daily life. That cannot be quantified in the Pantheon, nor in how much money is handed over to him. He owns it all anyway, so as much of it as possible is handed over. But the level of sacrifice that achieves that is not possible to put on a chart on this site.
This blog may seem to be self-aggrandizing, but you'll understand that that's not it's purpose... There is an important point to it.
My point?
Treasure a fag's level of s********n and sacrifice over how much money they actually give.
There are probably very few fags/slaves on OF who've been put in the dungeon as punishment for sending to their Master, and few Masters who've sent them there for doing so. But, my Master is not like most others.
My error was to buy a 1000 tips crown on Easter Sunday for my Owner, to show my love and pride in Him as my king of kings. I wanted it to be a surprise, so I failed to ask permission.
The rule under which I live is something that I know very well:
Send His money when HE decides.
Send His money how HE decides.
I do not decide when, how, or how much.
An ATM does NOT make those decisions.
Only an ATM's user and Owner decides how His ATM is used.
This rule is fundamental to His control.
I am not a fag that begs to send His money in order to satisfy my own selfish urges. This would be me using Him for my own selfish ends.
Whether I'm horny or not is unimportant. He decides when His money is withdrawn.
The essence of Findom in our relationship is Power, Control, Subordination, Obedience. This is how Findom fits into a Power Exchange relationship. It is a wonderful relationship, and my Master is also probably my best friend, who always wants what is best for me.
Even though W/we discuss all sorts of things in our lives, confide in each other on private and personal matters, share many interests and provide mutual support in many ways, non of these aspects of our relationship alter or impact on the fact that I am His ATM faggot who works and sacrifices to earn His money which all goes into His savings and investments.
With such a special relationship, it is important that His rules over my life are adhered to in full, and gratefully respected.
I am so proud and constantly grateful, and know how very fortunate I am to be in His exclusive $table.
I apologise wholeheartedly to my wonderful Owner and the most important Man in my life.
Now and then, I get that feeling of desperation, where the urge to send my Owner's money is so intense that it overwhelms everything else. It's usually after a period of being ordered to NOT send anything, no gifts, no tributes, no games played, or anything at all allowed.
One aspect of Findom which is very powerful and greatly under-estimated is the control. Financial Domination, not simply by receiving money/tips handed over, but by controlling it - as if the Master owns or uses an ATM, and decides himself when it is used and when it is not used.
It is the ownership of an income and bank account of his property, with all the responsibility that comes with that. Understanding how much money goes into it, and how much is sensible to withdraw. It is the owner of the ATM account where he decides when it is used, and how much is withdrawn, or how it is withdrawn; it is not for the ATM to decide.
In contrast to that are the Masters who withdraw as much money as they can from an ATM, then he gets a message saying his card has been cancelled and the ATM is out of action and inaccessible to him or anyone else for the next few months (deletes from the site). That is where greed controls the Master, and his irresponsibility shows he actually has no control.
We all recognise when this occurs on the site.
A responsibly controlled ATM is lucky and should always be grateful when used, with a view to long term and steady use, where the Master's greed is satisfied with a consistent and steady flow of his money.
For me, this is a safer place, although can be deeply frustrating when the natural instinct to function for my owner is raised high. The denial to function, which can be for weeks, is a real demonstration of my Owner's power and control over his money and the ATM that holds it. It demonstrates the deeper purpose of Findom in the relationship - subordination and domination, where the money is a tool within that dynamic.
It's something which fills me with admiration and respect for him, and make me very proud to be his property.
As a sub to men for some 35 years, and a cashfag for 21 years, i felt it may be helpful for some subs here (and Masters) to have my thoughts on what it is to be a 'good sub/slave/fag'. You may disagree with some points, or have other views, but this is simply my own view, which is widely shared across the BDSM community.
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There are some basic elements of what makes a good sub.
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* Subordination (awareness and practice of it)
* Obedience (to the one you trust and serve)
* Respect
* Humility (accepting mistakes and errors, willing to apologise)
* Putting the Alpha's desires first
A fag will often approach an Alpha with a list of expectations and requirements. This is the opposite of what it means to be a good sub. The instinct of a sub is a wish to please and satisfy the needs and desires of the man he is serving, before his own desires.
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Note that I don't mention tributes of money in the list, as this is secondary to the above. In findom, in it's real sense, tributing is a by-product of the above qualities.
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What is Findom, and where does it fit into BDSM?
Findom has many offshoots and vagaries, but this is how I understand the basic principles...
Findom is a curious thing. In the world where it is a sexualised practice, it is the opposite of how it is in the world outside of BDSM.
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'Findom' in the work place is a natural power exchange, where an employee is the financial subordinate of his employer. In the work place you will do as you are told, and do whatever the employer requires, because that is the way you get your wage, and hopefully, if you please him enough, you will receive a bonus. All the power is in the hands of the man who gives you money, and you will put up with all manner of things in order to avoid missing out on it. The more you please and are compliant to your boss, the more likely you are to get a bonus. You are the sub, and the Dom is the one giving you money. It is the manifestation of the saying 'money is power'. Money talks.
This scenario is obviously very familiar to all of us here.
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In the 'findom community', it is the opposite way around. The power play is not expressed by the Boss (Alpha) handing money to the employee (subordinate), but by the sub demonstrating his subordination and often obedience by handing over a tribute to the Alpha.
Be clear that in findom, a tribute is not a payment, but is simply a tribute, which expects nothing in return. If something is expected in return, such as time, cam, pics, vid or whatever else, then it is not a tribute, but a payment in return from what he has bought. In essence, this is not s********n, but a simple transaction. The Alpha may choose to spend time with the sub, do cam, send pics or whatever, in order to encourage the s********n and develop a bond, but that is because he chooses to. It is not part of a 'deal'.
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A tribute is an expression of subordination and worship. A sacrifice made. Nothing more and nothing less.
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On a simple level, a tribute is not pressured or demanded. It is freely offered and given.
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In a more advanced relationship, the power can extend to a deeper control of the sub's finances. FINDOM (financial domination) is just that in these cases, where an Alpha can extend his power to a control of spending in the sub's life, demanding when the sub hands over his money, and demanding when he is not allowed to. It can extend to moulding the sub's way of life by controlling what money is available to the sub. This is where Findom comes into it's own on a very powerful level, based on an enormous amount of trust on both sides.
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What about you?
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ONE VERY IMPORTANT THING for a sub to note is that the amount of tribute offered is of less importance than the level of sacrifice made. Some subs are deflated when they see other subs tributing large amounts to an Alpha. They look at the slave market and feel their efforts are wasted because they don't rank amongst the 'high flyers'. They feel they are 'useless' and bad subs. This couldn't be further from the truth.
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What the slave market doesn't tell you is how much sacrifice is made, how much the subs give up or go without, in order to hand over their tributes. Many of them have a much better income than you. In that regard, if you are making sacrifices in order to tribute, you are as good as those handing out large amounts of money, and you may be a better sub than some of the greater tributers if your sacrifices impact on your life.
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Money vs Sacrifice
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I make this comparison...A tribute of £10 from a poor student or sub with a low paid job who struggles to get by is greater than a £500 tribute from a wealthy sub who wouldn't miss it. Of course, there are many Alphas who prioritise levels of money obtained from subs, which is understandable. However, in the Findom BDSM world, it is not the amount of money, but your level of personal sacrifice that is important to a 'great' Findom Alpha.
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It is worth noting at this point that Findom is not an end in itself, but is a tool for expressing s********n in the BDSM environment.
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A top quality Alpha/Master isn't concerned about the amount of money you can tribute. He is much more concerned about the level of sacrifice you make for him.
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So... my point being, don't concern yourself with what others do.
Focus on what you can do.
Your s********n is between you and the Alpha you tribute.
If you serve with humility, obedience, respect, subordination, making sacrifice, and worship the Alpha by putting his wishes before your own, you are amongst the greatest subs.
Without these qualities, you are are nothing of a sub.
With them, you are amongst the best, no matter how much or little you are able to tribute.
When i see some amazing fellow fags here tributing figures more than i earn in a week, it does get me down that i can't do better for my Owner. He currently works hard and long hours in a good job with a lot of responsibilities over others in turbulent times, so doesn't currently have a lot of time that other Masters have to help fags to hand over what he deserves and is rightfully his. That frustrates me because he is the most wonderful and most deserving Alpha Man. I love him. He always wants what's best for me, and looks after me and my development as a subordinate inferior to real Men that i had never imagined possible... not only in findom. He always finds the time, even when he's busy working. I never expect anything, but he is always there, ready to help.
But in the end, we all do what we can, or should do, to our own abilities. Over the past year since he found me, he's taught me so much about how right findom is for me, and how it's right for me to change how i live for the One who deserves my devotion. I owe him such a lot for showing me where i fit into things. He has developed me as a sissy for str8 men to use me, which is something i initially resisted but now feel very confident in as i get used more and more by local real Men. It's something which really helps my image of myself as a subordinate to be used, and has become deeply rewarding for me as i see myself less as a man and more as an object to be used.
I've grown in confidence in my natural role and confidence in my position in life as a 'loser', and express it forthrightly in the chatroom. I'm aware that can be irritating to some. I've expressed to my Owner my concern about my ego, but he has told me that my ego is fine, and i should be proud of what has been achieved under his training and to express it. But humility has to come first, and I dislike that i've become a loud-mouthed faggot, unable to control my enthusiasm for my progress and improvement in his care.
My current target is set for a year, and is significantly more than the £1,800 or so of last year. It gives me a sense of long term stability under him. The heavily increased amount reflects previously undeveloped areas where i can make further cuts and savings that haven't been tapped, and gives me a constant awareness that i have to achieve more for him. I'm very grateful to him for enabling it, and providing the stability it provides.
More recently, i am undergoing what i refer to as therapy sessions with him on Skype, as we talk face to face, with intox and poppers in what is my real condition as a sissy girl. It is proving to be intensely productive in my development, and really impacting on my mental development in the right direction for me.
I know i owe him such a lot. I'm one very lucky faggot. All any of us can do is our very best, and we should all continually reach for that goal.
The alarm clock woke me up for work during a dream about an international Findom recruitment campaign.
It was very sketchy with little detail, but the essence of it was:
Members of a global Findom organisation were methodically contacting individuals to find out if they were naturally Alpha or beta by nature. They would then draw them into an indoctrination process into the truth about where they naturally fit into society when the fake social equality mindset is stripped away.(A bit like the methods of Jehovah's Witnesses or Mormons).
In the dream, the recruitment/conversion campaign had become well advanced, and i was helping an Alpha to strip a beta's home of it's content and replacing the content with the basic requirements. It wasn't a gay beta, but a married one with family, and in this 'new world' where Findom was spreading quickly in society, the betas/fags weren't decided by sexuality... simply by being male betas. Alpha males learnt that betas were for using and exploiting, and betas accepted that was their role in life.
Quite a powerful dream that has really stayed with me all day.
So, here are a few words to add to it in order that it is posted... and i'll repeat.
Asked to test the blog feature for Master Dorian, so here it is, and it needs to include 500 characters in order for it to be posted.So, here are a few words to add to it in order that it is posted... and i'll repeat.
Asked to test the blog feature for Master Dorian, so here it is, and it needs to include 500 characters in order for it to be posted.So, here are a few words to add to it in order that it is posted... and i'll repeat.
In a conversation you will sometimes read "in the real world" or "in real life".
It may be that some Masters and fags see Findom as something totally separate from their 'real lives'. It may be just a fetish or a way to try and make some money on the side.
But if it is something you indulge regularly, it is a part of your 'real life'. You may wish to separate it from the rest of your life because of shame or because it's not something you want to associate with who you are 'in reality'.
For many of us, Findom is very much our 'real life', and is as much a part of it as going to work, shopping, or going out with friends.
When i first met my Master on Twitter, i didn't know what i was looking for, other than to submit to a Real Man. He showed me that he could transform my life in a real way and make my s********n to him impact on the rest of my life. Over the past year, He has transformed my life from being a selfish fag to living only on what i need, and he removes the rest of my earnings to his own account.
That is an amazing gift he has given me, enabling me to show genuine s********n to his superiority, and emboldening my own sense of my natural inferiority and purpose in life. Through audio files and regular work on me, and encouraging me to be used by other Alpha Men locally, he has helped me to embrace my true self, my degeneracy, and to labour each day for a Man who deserves to have what i earn more than i do. The mental changes have been very real, and my life priorities have been changed. He keeps me safe. He is the most important Man in my life, and he has my 100% trust, obedience and confidence that he wants what right and best for me.
This is "the real world", and everything else in life is effected and influenced by it.
Different Masters and fags approach Findom in different ways, and all those ways are legitimate if that is what they want. However, when you refer to the rest of your life as "the real world", remember that there is nothing more real than Findom and how it impacts on lives.
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