by DorianTheAlpha
There is a strange, skewed perspective of domination, in particular financial domination. Many slaves will approach to lead with their kinks. They will tell you all about what turns them on, what their hard limits are, their past injustices and why that makes them unable to trust the ever-perilous threat of Masters that mistreat them.
A common refrain is: "you want Me to send Sir? But W/we've barely spoken."
Now, I will always speak to curious souls. Some slaves are new. Some are unaware of how to approach. Some are just timid. But if after a short exchange, there's little sign they intend to tip, tribute, or otherwise strive to please Me, then I demand it. And generally, this is when the pretenders vanish. Every. Single. Time.
This post is for you, pretenders. The liars, the beggars, the toxic vile vermin that infect the purity of findom.
You do not get to own a Ferrari to pay for it when you like. You don't get to wear a Patek and send them a check when it suits you. You don't move into a seaside mansion and put off your mortgage indefinitely.
Serving an Alpha isn't just a luxury: it is the ultimate luxury. Financial s********n is a gift an Alpha gives you.
Sending Me the money that is rightfully Mine *is* your reward, slave.
So, let U/us here and now stamp out the fallacy that you deserve attention from a Superior Male because of any of the following:
- Uncertainty or curiosity
- Insecurity or past wounds
- Prior mistreatment
- Lack of finances / having being ruined
- Lack of interest in findom
- Servitude to another Master
- The list goes on...
As a slave, you are responsible to educate yourself about findom.
As a slave, you are expected to be able to serve financially, unless your Master explicitly states otherwise.
As a slave, you are required to please your Master first and foremost, however He chooses.
As a slave, you are accountable to understand that your Master allows you the blissful gift of His existence.
As a slave, you are indebted to your Alpha merely by the virtue of serving him. Tribute merits nothing.
As a slave, you are property. It is your choice to be a slave; and it is your purpose as such to be His property.
Understand the choices you make, and adhere to your commitments. Both you and He are allowed your limits. Findom is a choice. When you make it, do not flake and do not flounder. Follow through.
Let us end on a constructive note: follow these guidelines to please your Alpha, and live truthfully in s********n.
1. Do not say that you will send. Send, and then say that you have. Act first, then speak.
2. Do not approach an Alpha leading with your interests. He is above you. Pleasing him is all that matters. Do so, and maybe he will reward you by considering your own interests. That is the true nature of s********n to Another.
3. Do not victimize yourself. There will always be those who hold exception with this post. Slaves here have done so to My words in the past. This is not ironclad; it is a guide. Follow it, or ignore it and resign yourself to the sad lie that you are actually a "slave" — you are the opposite.
I recognize part of this post are strongly worded. Findom is a place of strong words, and emotions. If you are offended by this, you are likely guilty of what it puts forth. If You are nodding along, you likely know what I'm talking about, and have suffered through your fair share of vermin too.
Be better, for Him.
For Me.
Reluctance. The creeping hesitation that paralyzes you between taking the leap of faith, and staying stuck in sad frustration. It occurs in all of U/us, but especially in the frail frightened minds of beta boys. New arrivals worry that they do not belong. Experienced senders worry they've gone too far, or for too long, that they should finally leave the scene. There is always a voice in the back of your mind telling you not to. That voice is why I am writing this post today.
Deference. It is a word you almost never hear in kink. s********n, worship, sacrifice, tribute, selflessness, obedience, eager, pathetic, humiliating... of all the descriptors that float around this community, you seldom hear of deference. Why is that? Well, it's an uncommon word, but it so concisely captures how a sub should behave. It is *the* word, if I were to pick only one. If subs should strive for a single trait, it would be deference. So what does it mean? Respect, politeness — yes. Submissive obedience as well. Acquiescence. It is deferring to your Superior, in a noun. It is the embodiment of your Alpha knowing what is best, always. It is the sub trusting its Master.
All too often, and expectedly so, subs will stutter and say, "I'm not sure", "I don't know if I can", and so many other same-sounding apprehensions. Now, don't get Me wrong, you can say whatever you wish to say. But know that in this reticence, you show your Alpha that you do not trust Him, and His vast experience. So, the next time these demons creep up when your Alpha is pushing you within your established limits...
Let go of your reluctance, and trust the latter instead.
Be better. Be different. Be deferent.
I have an older post that delves into this in greater detail. Consider this a pocket version.
When you are first approaching an Alpha you want to serve:
1. Send before speaking. Even if only 50 tips. A gesture to prove you're serious, and selfless.
2. Know your Master. Likes, dislikes, style of domination, expectations.
3. Speak clearly, and learn quickly. Always over-communicate unless He says otherwise.
4. Set your limits with Him, and respect His. Within that, obey. Always.
5. Be proactive & creative. Plan, save, earn, send more and please Him however you can.
--
The full version explores these and more in greater detail, but follow these five steps and thrive for your Master.
by DorianTheAlpha
This will be a far less prescriptive post.
It is nothing more than thinking aloud.
This post is about findom dynamics, and its impact on a sub. When brash, brazen and sometimes tactless Alphas demand excess, especially from new accounts or new to findom as a whole: they flee. Sometimes that is ghosting, and all too often full account deletion never to return. I'll be the first to admit, I'm guilty of this, especially in My early days as an Alpha. Now as you read this, a natural rebuke is: "if the pussy can't handle Me, then they shouldn't be here." And yes, as Alphas, subs will never know they countless trolls, timewasters, and other toxic trash We endure. And likewise, it is a sub's respsonsibility to hold themselves accountable: understand what is expected before engaging. After all, you wouldn't enter a boxing match without a parry or a punch, but I digress.
So, where is the line between sustainable domination, and negligent cashgrabbing? It is not a set boundary. Some slaves have much to sacrifice and years of experience. For many others, this might be their very first exposure to sociosexual deviance. Even with study & fervour there's still so much you can only learn: sending, submitting, obeying, deferring to a Superior... experiencing findom first-hand.
Alphas constantly hear the same refrain from subs. Something to the effect of, "But Sir, My last experience with findom, an Alpha asked for [insert large number in the sub's opinion] and then ignored Me/blocked Me." Now, they're often telling the truth. Evidently, others lie for attention. Here many Alphas either dial up their chest-puffing demands, or dispose/block the new sub right then and there.
So here lie the chasm. On on hand, earnest new subs get bulldozed by greedy Alphas who'd rather bark & bite than conjure any real sense of a findom dynamic. And equally if not more so, subs who will lie, cheat, whine and wallow without ever intending to truly serve. In this sea of mistreament from both sides, how does O/one navigate the vitriol?
Now this boils down quite simply: waste is dime a dozen. Great Masters & subs are a precious rarity.
My question becomes: how as an Alpha do you challenge yourself to avoid or overcome this (obviously this excludes consensual humiliation etc)? And more importantly, to the subs reading this, particularly new faces: I know you may have been used, even discarded before. What you don't know is an Alphas scars always run deeper. We deal with more trash than a landfill. So your wound-licking falls on deaf ears. Does this mean you deserve to be railroaded again? No. But does it entitle you to different standards? Even less so. How can you too can overcome these pitfalls?
Toxicity is universal. Alphas will set targets for subs owned by others, and mistreat subs who then leave the scene for good in shame or disgust. Many slaves more will fail targets, timewaste, cheat on their exclusive Alphas, so on and so on. A corny ending perhaps, but let's simply all... be better.
As an Alpha, know the difference between push your slave to thrive, and push your slave to leave.
As a submissive, know that your past & predilections do not warrant your failures or misconduct.
Cheers to all, and thanks for reading. Stay powerful Gents.
My blogs are typically about s********n. How to serve better etc.
This one is specifically for Masters new to the site. Read up & enjoy.
Feel free to DM if anything below is unclear.
1. Read the rules.
Read the website rules. Read about kink, about D/s ownership.
Read up on findom.
If you're going to try a new kink a sub proposes. Study it. Ask other Alphas.
Everyone starts somewhere. You are given the power to govern a slave's body, mind, and wallet.
Wield that power responsibly, within the guidelines set for this community.
The only tribute allowed here are those sent with OwnedFags tips. No other tribute methods allowed. Period.
2. It takes longer than you realize.
For every useful sub, there are 20 timewasting pretenders.
For every lasting sub, it takes 20 who are fleetingly useful.
So if you're a math guy: that's roughly a 0.25% ownership rate on every sub interaction you have.
Lots of empty-handed, empty-headed strokers. The truly servile sluts are few & far between.
3. Don't do it for the money.
Ultimately, no one is here for the money (or shouldn't be). It's a fun byproduct of a kink: findom.
Findom is about power exchange through currency transfer. Much like bondage is through mobility transfer.
It's just another vector for a submissive to surrender to its Dominant, whether in session or lasting servitude.
If you need money, get a job or sell items. Desperate Alphas are always see-through, and fail. Just truth.
4. Build relationships with other Alphas.
Focus on the other Dominants here. Chat with them. Learn without being clingy about it.
Some, like myself, occasionally whore out their owned fags.
Especially at first, do not DM any slave here that has a lock; that is officially owned. Never.
If that slave reaches out, message the Alpha first.
Once you create a rapport with the Alpha, learn which owned sluts are allowed to & choose to chat, then do so.
Ultimately, conduct yourself so that you are earning the respect of your Alpha peers first and foremost. Always.
5. Find your style.
Emulation is natural. As with any craft, there will be those you look up to.
Take care not to let emulation become imitation. No one likes a copycat.
Find your original voice within the aspects of others you admire.
Ultimately, the most successful Alphas here are such because they are true to themselves.
For instance, I'm a soft-spoken Master. At times, I get harsh, but it's not My innate voice.
I know that, and I stick to it. Others do the opposite. It's about range & authenticity.
6. Build your brand.
A fair bit of domination is marketing. Content is king, engagement is queen, context is god.
Post as often as you can (without spamming). Find a cadence that works.
Few subs are attracted to empty profiles. Post pics. Make vids. Write blogs. Chat publicly.
Engage with others' posts and content, esp Alphas. Care about this community; not just yourself.
7. Set limits, and respect others’.
Not every sub will be a match with you. Maybe you hate piss play; piss pigs won't align with your style.
Maybe you want to solely focus on findom. Maybe findom is secondary to you.
Many subs focus on real-time meets, and even within that types of meets (eg dungeon play).
Be clear about your desires, your dislikes, and focus on those with whom your dynamic could line up.
8. Recognize the toll this takes.
Drop is real. The defeat, deflation, or other such blues felt in kink.
It can be sub drop following a heavy drain or kink session.
it can be Alpha drop after 15 timewasters exhaust you mentally.
Maybe your personal life is impacting your motivation to dominate, or create content.
Be mindful of the weight of your work here.
Yes, dominance is effortless.
But domination is hard work. And acknowledging that is crucial to lasting success.
Take days off. Communicate them to your slaves. The real ones will understand.
Likewise, sometimes subs need to step away. Not all Alphas accept that, but it is equally normal.
9. It isn't a competition.
It's easy to get caught up in the points. The Pantheon & slave market positions.
I've been guilty of it, as I'm sure many others are.
Domination (and s********n) are about the intimacy & thrill of power exchange.
Owning a fag is about fulfilling Your Alpha desires together, through their sacrifice & your domination.
Each dynamic is unique. It's own singular bond. No two subs should compete, even serving the same Master.
And no two Masters should compete, because I'll never be Garboss, SkinbossDan, or Fidelio.
They have their styles, their successes, their subs. I have Mine. That's a great thing.
It's the range of kink, and domination.
10. Have fun with it.
I've learned so much about myself through domination.
How sadistic I can be. How compassionate I am.
If you aren't here to enjoy yourself, and create enjoyment for others (even with pain or struggle)
Then you're likely here for the wrong reasons.
Consider this an extensions of "don't do it for the money".
Cheers.
A message inspired by an earnest discussion among several fags in chat.
Sustainable sending simply means sending what you can afford to send. A straightforward notion yet quite difficult for many finsubs to master. It is the key to long lasting servitude and financial stability. A concept drilled into me years ago by the first Dom I served that I always keep top of mind is: a broke fag is a useless fag.
What cash slave hasn’t stroked to the idea of a massive drain? Dropping hundreds or thousands in a single ruinous session. It can be arousing beyond measure, yet it can leave you feeling broken and resentful. At its worst it results in slaves deleting profiles and ghosting their Masters.
Too often fags are guided by the little cocklet between their legs, which can lead to bad decisions. While you should always strive to please your Master, both in tribute and in other ways; you need to play the long game. How best can you serve Him sustainably over time? Aim for years of service, not just a few weeks of mindless stroking.
Take the time to figure out what you can actually afford to send. It can seemingly take the fun out of it, but coming up with a budget will help keep you from overdoing it. There will always be slaves who can send more than you, that’s just a fact. Focus on what you are able to affordably send rather than trying to compete with those with deeper pockets.
Even seasoned subs can fall prey to sending more than they should. When it happens it's imperative that you communicate to your Master that you will need a period of recovery. If He is a wise Dom He will understand, if not then it’s time to move on. Smart Masters will want to cultivate a lasting relationship, not drain you into oblivion then hang you out to dry.
The best Masters know how to guide their fags in sending sustainably. There are always those who will push a slave past its limits, but it's still up to the slave to inform the Master that they can’t afford to send more. We're all adults here, both the Master and the slave share responsibility. The slave not to oversend and the Master not to ruin the slave.
Now that doesn’t mean you should waste a Dom’s time simply to pinch some pennies. Don’t accept targets you can’t complete. Don’t promise more than you can send. If you're having trouble managing your sending, try asking your Master to require permission to send to help keep you grounded. If you can’t send more until your next pay, ask how else you can please Him. True s********n and servitude extends beyond tip counts.
Be the best fag that you can be for them, but do it sustainably so you can continue to do so for years to come. The Masters may be in control, but that doesn’t mean you can abrogate your own responsibility to keep your head above water.
Courtesy of SkinBossDan and TBMaster, their joint property 🥩 today transfers to pasture 🐄 from where it will appear inactive on OFs even though interacting with its awesome Owners. Before this, they suggested it write a blog on its servitude rather than shyly going quiet on the site as was its instinct. Unsure what could possibly be of interest to others, it will simply say in public some things its Owners already know, though not all of which it has before expressed, even in private.
1. Ownership 🔒
When it first joined OFs in September 2020, like so many subs before and since, it deleted immediately after cumming🤦 Yet a conversation with TBMaster had intrigued it sufficiently that it rejoined the following day. And with His encouragement overcoming its nervousness, it sent a beer to SkinBossDan who it knew of previously, although with whom it had never before spoken - and who responded in his own inimitable style. By then the die was cast. Those separate conversations led to a conversation between Masters, joint ownership of their new sub, and everything that has followed since. And their joint property has never looked back.
2. Humiliation 🥴
When joining the site, amongst fetishes, it casually ticked the box for humiliation. Then, after being taken into ownership, it received a full-on onslaught from its two Masters, each seemingly trying to outdo the other in treating their fresh meat like it never before imagined any sub could be treated. Its only reassurance was that both Owners seemed to think this treatment to be totally acceptable – and even normal! It quickly learnt to take what was given - and in turn that whatever was their pleasure would become its pleasure too (at least once it was over!). As for what had previously been its own pleasure, the one thing that has never been permitted is another selfish opportunity to cum. Only most rarely have they generously allowed it to touch itself and then, of course, entirely on their terms. That, though, has always been more than worth the wait! Life is much better doing what they choose when they choose – liberation from decision making is freedom for their property.
3. Two Masters 👑 👑
From the beginning, there has always been total trust between Owners and with their property. When it serves one financially, it serves the other equally, without being asked and without being checked. It knows of no other way and its Owners would have it no other way. This, though, created a strain from it wanting to serve both Owners to the best of its ability as if each was the only one (why should either settle for half?). This strain was initially relieved when they took full control - it by then all being their cash anyway. But then was increased as they raised the bar - further and further - and further again - until, even on a good day, their property could barely reach after a struggle. They were comfortable at that level - so it learnt to get comfortable there too. Other than ability, there are no limits to the devotion each can inspire.
4. Community 📲
Of course, there were more than its Owners on the site when it joined. In fact, as a new member, it felt quite intimated both by all the Masters - and also by some of the subs! And none more so than its stable-brother, then top of the Slave Market, SouthernScum (sadly no longer with us); subCorey, then no 2 on the Slave Market; and SoS who was particularly active at the time and appeared to be in overall charge! Yet they were precisely the subs who reached out and became its friends on the site. The role that encouragement from other subs and also other Masters plays should never be underestimated. It cannot imagine its journey without this. Yes, this is FinDom and not exactly a commune. But it says ‘community’ above the door and that’s one of the things that sets this place apart from others. Its Owners have always been active members of the community encouraging others on the site. In whatever ways it can, it tries to follow their example.
5. Slave Market 🐄 🐖
Other than a way of encouraging slaves ‘to climb’, the Slave Market is a bit of fun. The actual quality of a sub cannot be measured solely from the amount of cash it sends (as conclusively proven by a former member thankfully no longer on the site). Providing they do their best, subs are valued by its Owners for who or what they are - not just by how much they tribute. They develop each sub individually in the way that they decide is best. In the case of their joint property, they proved they knew best when, despite its previous protestations of impossibility, they got it into the top 20 on the Slave Market. As for what followed, it can vaguely remember drinking so much that it lost the ability to count, or even to operate a calculator. Certainly, they have never offered – or given - anything in return for tips (or any other tribute) - as these are all already theirs to take. And yet the rewards it has received in terms of what it has become and how it feels have at times been overwhelming. As for them getting it to the top, they must surely be the only Owners whose property was put in that position while they had it incarcerated in the Dungeon! Service is on THEIR terms. And it cannot imagine this any other way.
6. Dungeon ⛓
Without ever missing a target, it has spent more time in the Dungeon than anyone else since it joined. Why? It would be easy - and true - to answer that its Owners can be sadistic. But actually, they also expect its best in non-financial terms as well. When it has fallen short in either of their minds, the Dungeon has provided both punishment and the time and space for it to learn how to behave - and to communicate - better. Each time, this has also drawn a line on the past - not once have they ever looked back after a lesson learnt. Had the lesson not been learnt, it would surely have been discarded, as have others. Either way, life moves on, and so do its Owners. Maintaining the high standards they expect is sometimes difficult. But it is now part of life – which is all the better as a result.
7. Pantheon 🤴🤴
Sending a tribute that propels a Master up The Pantheon is a special honour to relish for any sub. As well as enjoying the pleasure of seeing other subs doing so, it is humbled to have been allowed the buzz of sending tributes that on separate occasions moved each of its Owners to Number 1. And whilst it is great to see one of its Owners at the top of the Pantheon, they have always been quick to congratulate others reaching that position, and to encourage it to do so as well. And also to recognise the other great masters whose Pantheon position is not so high – numbers of tips alone do not measure the quality of a Master either. All (or most) owned subs believe their Masters to be the best, at least for them. It is no exception. But trying to be as objective as it can, it does believe its Owners to be truly great Masters. And, as it has come to know them well, the strength of this view has only grown. What can be seen publicly is but the tip of what there truly is.
8. Master of All 👑
MoA is awesome. The great Man behind the best site in FinDom - and arguably in fetish. And the amazing, calmly assured, and best-never-crossed Alpha who keeps U/us all safe and in-line. Of an evening, MoA was in chat and had occasion to invite anyone silently watching to join in. Even without its Owners there to give it the confidence to do so, it knew what they would expect and what it must do. With its heart in its its mouth, it jumped in. MoA could not have been more welcoming, engaging or friendly. Whilst it was just one sub amongst a site-full, and to Him this was but a single conversation of many, it remembers it all clearly to this day. It was a masterclass in engaging with subs - with anyone in fact - that this sub will never forget. Yet (or is it because?) in terms of power on the site, no one approaches MoA. Except, possibly, one. HAL. Strong and silent Dungeon Master. Introducer of features (like members sending themselves to the Dungeon) without the knowledge of MoA (who undoes them when He finds out). And bar-stocker extraordinaire - never lacking in any cocktail ingredient, no matter how obscure!
9. Rollwercoaster 🎢
Of course, part of the attraction of FinDom is that it can engender strong emotions, sometimes difficult (or even impossible) to control. Its owners have been able to make it laugh so much that it cried. And even cry so much that it laughed ! From feeling itself trapped by exhaustion from its own pathetic excuses. To realising it was being taught how to soar free like a bird on the wing. Through thick and thin, its Owners have always stuck with it along the way. And it knows how privileged it is to be allowed to be with them. Something it can’t now imagine ever being without.
10. Outside events 🌍
Stuff happens in life. Most of it good, some of it not so much. And when it is not so good, emerging stronger than before can take time. And the support of those closest to you helps get you there. Its Owners have always been there for their property - way beyond anything for which it could have hoped. And they know their property will always be there for them. Travelling with the ebbs and flows of life is easy.Traversing against them is more challenging - and often more rewarding too. Rare indeed is the current so strong that prevents a return even another day. There is no end, only a new beginning.
This chapter of SkinbossDan’s and TBMaster’s joint property concludes with its thanks. To its awesome Owners, of course - it owes them more than even they know. To all the Masters and subs who have encouraged it on the journey thus far. And of course toMoA who with HAL makes it all possible.
There are no goodbyes - long or otherwise. Merely an ‘Au revoir’ and a ‘Merci beaucoup’🙏
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You should only view this site if you are over the age of 18, male and are not easily offended.
