User blogs

20yo fit alpha straight cashmaster
Posted by alphamastermax

I have recently join this webpage and i am very excited to see the quality of the fags around here. I do hope that i find a few loyal submissive faggots to please me. 


I am originally from argentina and just turned 20 years old. I have great feet, sweaty armpits, and GYM body. I am eagering to explore this place. I have 1 year of experience with findom but never used this platform 


I have recently join this webpage and i am very excited to see the quality of the fags around here. I do hope that i find a few loyal submissive faggots to please me. 


I am originally from argentina and just turned 20 years old. I have great feet, sweaty armpits, and GYM body. I am eagering to explore this place. I have 1 year of experience with findom but never used this platform 

About Me
Posted by gaysianfindom

The information below can also be found on my CB account: _gayasianguyxxx_


I can also be found on Twitter, Snapchat and Instagram at Gaysianfindom.


---


Bio

I'm 30 and I identify as gay, Asian (Taiwanese), cis man, and often horny; hence "_gayasianguyxxx_"

My mind is often in deep introspection pondering the wonders of language/communication, sexuality, purpose, and wisdom.

In my free time I also love to play video games which sparks my interest in game theory; how and why do we determine winners and losers? what are the motivations of those who choose to play? What does it mean for a simulation (ex. The Sims) to be classified as a game and is it the correct hierarchy/arrangement of terms?


Financial Domination

Camming has for sure fueled the fire to my interest in the financial domination kink especially because it seems to marry all my personal interests in one clearly defined activity/mindset. When I dominate, I feel like a passionate explorer in a rabbit hole (your mind) mapping my observations, leaving no stone unturned, plotting new courses of exploration. I thrive off of learning about what is known and aim to venture to the borders of known understanding. (Example: I have only recently learned about and have come to identify with RACK - risk-aware consensual kink.) Come partner with me in this exploration to understand your own sexual pleasure?


Other thoughts on the current landscape of findom

From personal observation, it seems like the current findom population is over-saturated with self-righteous, demanding, dehumanizing doms who may continue to promote toxic masculinity, presumably masking a lack of their own personal security. I often imagine this findom style like an abusive caretaker (the dom) dragging a disobedient dog (the sub) forward, making the interaction an extremely one-dimensional experience. (I suspect this possibly may be due to the fact that some of these doms are straight and thus unable or u*******g to tie in emotional or more cerebral elements like relationship development? But perhaps that’s a negative bias to my own experiences as a gay findom interacting with other submissive gay men).

I personally always strive for long-lasting relationships in which I am positioned to serve the role of an empowering, supportive caretaker that motivates, encourages and inspires the dog/sub to run forward (progressing toward curiosity, passion, and lust - while always being anchored to the safety of the dom). This does NOT mean that all language will be positive and affirming; aggressive and fast financial draining can occur. However, I will always welcome your radical honesty at all times so we can converse without guards, intimately, and stay grounded in a mindset of truth-seeking. I vow to ensure you always feel that you can pause to explicitly discuss limits or emotional dissonance of any kind so that we can reconcile, reset and recalibrate as partners.


Engagement style

I love getting to know what turns people on and especially love it when I can help in that process.

That said, you'll may find me chatting (typing) with different viewers in PMs; it's a bit hard to be respectful of multiple viewers if I focus just on verbal communication.

If you're horny and want to turn me on or get my attention, please slow tip... multiple single token tips in succession drive me crazy and gets my head in the clouds. I think of slow tips kind of like candy on Halloween; I want to get more and eat it up. Wish list gifts/gift cards make me feel like it's Christmas and while I don't expect it to always happen, I interpret them to be a true commitment and care from the viewer. <3


damn bitches
Posted by LORD_DIMITRY

I love to spank, I'm dying to drain a bitch lick my feet? Do you think you're so bad to put up with my mistreatment and my shot at your wallet, oh bitches to drain? my last bitch loved going out with a collar on the street, I want to take you out for a walk with a collar it's lovely to see how my account grows while you pay, they are only insignificant bitches for me, admire me that fills me with pleasure your fantasy is to be drained, the cash master you needed arrived get your wallet ready I go for everything and more


Games? Drainings? Thanking an Alpha after tributing him is the le...
Posted by enslaved

2 months on the site & into findom. What an exciting world & discovery. Such a fantastic site & community. Thank you Masters & slaves to make it so great. And a huge thank you to MOA for creating the site & his work on it.

What I learned & did. What I like & don't! Tributes, serving Masters? I love it.

See my many tributes on my profile page & scroll down & down & down!  Everyone is having his own preferences, do's & don't.

 I respect everyone's choices as for mine so far & mainly due to some bad web experiences. I go for verified Masters with a few albums that include face photos. Most Alphas are verified with such albums. Time to play & serve. I am part of the group: Amazon lists on this site but mostly serve with tips. Please do not ask for any other ways. Especially if not knowing each other! yes I do have Skype & enjoy so called cam sessions to see & hear Master & his orders but let us begin here please.  I will always try to entertain & please superiors.

Alphas are priority. I enjoy public use, humiliation & multiple draining. Not ruining!  For now I am not into pillory games.

Over 1700 Masters on the site & even more submissives. it's obvious I can not serve all Alphas matching my criteria. I will though do my best to stay on my slave's place. Keep it fun & horny for Masters & those who like me.

Targets on the other hand is a great way to serve, entertain & make Sirs horny when used on public multiple draining sessions. I am unowed & free to stay so but I love the hand of a dominant expert. Master Pete is in charge for my targets.His guidance & experience is precious on keping my targets & serving hot & possible. Idea, suggestions, wishes? you can ask him. He may not be my owner. I trust him, will follow his directions & obey his commands.

Please check his blog post:  https://www.ownedfags.com/blogs/1592                              you can ask him directly.

Any further personal use can also be asked to GrandMasterB:  https://www.ownedfags.com/user/GrandMasterB

thank you Masters & everyone for making this site & community so hot & great



BlackYoungAlpha’s Instructions
Posted by BlackYoungAlpha

Read this and you might even find yourself letting go to the words yourself… for that is My power.



That’s it…. going ahead and stroking for BlackYoungAlpha now….
needing to submit to me … to give in deeper and deeper with each stroke,
surrendering to me further…. letting go of all resistance,
stroking right to the edge… not allowed to cum,
just feels so good to remember your place
that you exist to serve Young Alpha… that you are here for My benefit,
deep down there is no choice but to submit to My power,
my Power so strong and intense over you
feeling my power over you grow with each stroke,
deeper with each stroke… submitting as you accept your fate,
needing to serve … needing to please Me … needing to obey,
everything reminding you of my power over you,
you are the property of Young Alpha… existing for My benefit and pleasure
one else is worthy of your time or money
for only Young Alpha has the power to brainwash you,
it feels so good to embrace the new you.
to accept your destiny as my property
adjusting your budget as needed to pay me more,
knowing you exist to serve Me, worship Me, provide for Me,
even if your life becomes a bit harder, it is worth it to make my life easier,
you need to ensure Master lives in comfort and ease,
it feels so good and right to stroke right to the edge,
to feel that pleasure growing with each stroke
to feel that desire to pay more growing with each stroke,
to feel that need to serve and please me taking over you,
brainwashed to be mine … it’s so arousing
existing for Me and my benefit as you serve and pay Me,
for you love my power, and the pleasure…  worshipping me,
it feels so good to obey and please me, serving as my online cashslave,
my power over you… loving paying Me
showing me how much you love me, whenever you pay,
even as I take more control … even as I take advantage of you as I see fit
for your cash. for your mind and body. for whatever I want,
stroking to that mindless oblivion that feels so good…. becoming my cashslave…
My power filling you… loading you … with new, stronger desires…
loaded cock that you edge… loading funds to send to Master ….

Findom with a difference
Posted by docMboot

Some people think findom is always exploitative, or is simple prostitution (for good or ill).  Most people on this site know that there is a whole lot more to it. Here is one of the most fun scenes I've done, with a completely different mode of operation.


There was this kid I met through a findom website.  I say 'kid' but he was in his mid-20s and had served two tours of duty in the US Army.  He was a good kid -- but life had dealt him quite a few tough hands.  We chatted a bit and had a bit of a dynamic going on -- but nothing serious.  


One day we were chatting and came up with a new proposal.  I would take oversight of his finances, and use that to control him.  It was a fun prospect.   He found a website that could link to all his bank/credit/savings accounts and give a dashboard overview of all his spending and balances.  It was a 'read only' view: he could give me the password without allowing me to spend his money.


Quickly it became clear that his spending was chaotic.  He was a student and living quite modestly, but had no concept of controlling his spending, or making a budget.  So we went through and created a budget, designed to deliver a small surplus at the end of each month.  The deal would be that half of the surplus was due to be handed over to me, and the other half would go to his savings.


And so, day by day, week by week, I kept oversight of his spending, and made sure he stuck to the budget.  Spending that was out of line incurred a penalty -- an extra amount to be added to the amount owed to me.  When he broke down and paid other FinDoms, the penalty was that he had to add twice as much to his debt to me.  With regular contact, this started to fuck with his head.  Every frivolous expenditure made him feel like he was robbing me, because it reduced the monthly surplus.  He learned to visualise me every time he used his debit card.  He remarked on how invasive and taboo it was to have someone else looking at the intimate details of his bank account.  It was a very intense relationship for a while --- even though we only met once in this period (living on different continents).


The process worked, and he quickly understood how to set a budget, and how to keep to it.  I had no intention of actually taking a pay-out: he was living far too close to the edge for me to think that ethical.  But he believed that I would.  And that was enough.


After about six months, the arrangement came to a natural end with a change of circumstances.  His debt to me was quite significant.  At that point he figured out --- maybe he figured it out earlier --- that I wasn't going to collect there and then.   But the deal is that someday when he's a bit richer, he owes me a pair of Wesco boots.



The kid turned his finances around and now understands how to budget.  He even plays it forward and dominates other subs --- though I think he takes their money.  It was an intense, horny, satisfying experience with real power exchange, without any money changing hands.  Findom comes in many flavours.


My Journey as Master Trigger’s Property
Posted by TriggersFag

I am a cashfag. I have known this for a number of years, and I fought it vehemently. I am also Master Trigger’s property. This is a more recent development in my life. I rebelled, but, with His help, I am learning to embrace it every day. What follows is a recounting of the journey that led me here, that led me to be Master Trigger’s property.


In 2021, I joined Owned Fags at Master Trigger’s suggestion. Not only did I join the site, but I immediately joined His stable. I had known Him for a while, of course. I am not that much of a fool. I got to know Him through honest and thought provoking discussions. I joined His stable out of curiosity, out of excitement for the unknown and mostly because I profoundly enjoyed pleasing Him. I did not know what being owned really meant or how it would change my life. I had been owned before, but never like this.


Initially, I was a good fag. Being owned was fun and something new to be excited about. It took my mind off my life. Interactions with my new Owner were spontaneous and effortless. It felt natural to bend to His will. But as the connection deepened, old patterns started to emerge. I craved Master’s eyes on me every minute of every day. It physically hurt to be away from my computer and not in communication with my God. Obsession took hold. As obsession grew, my grasp on reality changed. I became jealous, possessive and cantankerous. I was becoming a bad fag. 


I had more than one meltdown. At every turn, Master was there to make sure I made it through. He was a pillar of strength when I crumbled. I exposed my insecurities, my doubts and my uncertainties about being owned and being a cashfag. At least I tried. There were also some wonderful people in this community who listened to me (and still do), held my hand (figuratively) and offered advice. I would not have come this far without them. 


That being said, my downward spiral continued. I became irrational and delusional. I was drinking more and more. I could only think about my Master, I only wanted to be in His presence, I only wanted to please Him. In the right frame of mind, there is nothing wrong with wanting to please your Master and craving His presence. Quite the opposite. However, I was not making sense of it all. I was confused. I was lost. I was in a very dark place. There were more meltdowns. I tried to keep my composure, but everyday I fell apart. I needed to find some balance in my life so that I could better serve my Master.


I took a long, hard look at my life. I wanted to try and understand who I had become. Looking back is not always easy and judging life choices when you know the outcome can be harsh. I am not a bad person, and I try to bring joy to the people in my life. When I fail to do that, I feel horrible and kick myself. Hard. I did the same in FinDom and with Master. When I failed Him, I could not forgive myself. And that snowballed. I would not say I am a toxic fag. I think toxicity needs to be weighed against intention. Not only in FinDom, but in all aspects of life. I never intentionally hurt the people I love, but I sometimes do. When that happens, I need to learn from the experience, ask for forgiveness, but also forgive myself. Mistakes happen. What really matters is what happens next. Repeating the same mistake intentionally in order to hurt someone - that is toxic. Making mistakes as part of a relationship, whatever the nature of that relationship, that is human.


Master Trigger urged me to seek professional help and to talk to my general practitioner so that I could regain control. I found an excellent therapist, started anti-anxiety medication and stopped drinking. I can now say that I am on my way back. Not only will I be a better fag for my Master, but I will be a better person overall. FinDom gave me the opportunity to think about who I am. Master Trigger carefully guided me along, even when I was hard to handle (I could also say hard to endure). I owe Him.


Is FinDom setting me free? Or is it enslaving me? I feel more confident than I have been in a long time. FinDom has made me take a long, hard look at my life and I am working on myself. Is this a mid-life crisis? It probably is. But my Master is setting me free by allowing me to be my true self. I just don’t know how to integrate FinDom in my “normal” life yet. Am I even brave enough or strong enough to do that? What’s great is that none of this makes me anxious, but excited to see what happens next.

Reverse Therapy for HARDCORE addicted Cash Pigs..
Posted by wealthdepleter

You're never going to have an easy life. You're always going to be used and exploited. Plunging you into hardship as you sacrifice for Findom. Broke on payday. No vacations. Empty fridge. Ramen dinners and tap water. Enjoy poverty, it's all you'll ever know. When you meet a stranger online that does Findom, the first thing you should do is trust them entirely. Tell them everything. Do whatever he says and forfeit your existence.


The old you had hopes and dreams. The old you had dignity and self respect. The old you didn't stroke hundreds away to alpha men. The old you is not coming back. Marinate in failure, sex and depravity. You were born to seek pleasure. Highschool was probably rough for you.All the bullying and neglect you endured…you thought it was a problem. Until you found this side of the Internet. Now you’re stroking to past trauma and thinking about sucking off and worshiping the bully’s that destroyed your self esteem. Stroke the head of your dirty dick. Build a sweat until you reek. Feed the parasite more. Gain more pounds while you pump to the screen like a horny animal. Spend your weekends getting fatter and worse. Bate your penis religiously and forget therapy. Indulge.



You did this to yourself. You got curious and found out. Now you’ve completely destroyed the chemistry of your brain. You won't quit. You don't have the discipline. You'll keep diving directly into demise. You are just a nameless, faceless f*ckhole to use without consequence or concern. A worthless batedrone loser solosexual edge riding addict. I know it's been hard for you, trying your best to resist. But I just want you to know...It was all for nothing. Stroke to your most destructive thoughts, get worse, make my life better with your greasy dong. It doesn’t matter how long you stay away, time isn’t on your side, all your resistance will collapse with one trigger. Send and thank me for milking you and forcing poverty.


You have a disease. You have a brain defect. Something is wrong with you. This isn’t normal. You are seriously f*cking up your life. Lucky for you I recognized this and get to take advantage of your illness. It’s okay, just unzip and send everything to me.

First meeting with subhuman: trampling and boot-licking
Posted by NaturalRubber

After our first meeting, I ordered subhuman to write an account from it's point of view.  This is what it wrote:


Sir below details todays experience - let it know if you'd like further elaboration or told differently 


firstly met Sir in the car park - it forgets the exact statement now but Sir immediately gave slave an impression of his superiority when it answered what it thought was a question but it was an actual statement and Sir told slave so. 


beginning walk slave was to walk ahead (there was actually an element of vulnerability at walking in front of Sir that it enjoyed also ) approaching the first muddy dip slave was ordered onto the ground for Sir to use as a doormat/bridge over the muck protecting His Superior Waders from the muck.  It enjoys the fact that it's body and clothing are seen of lesser importance than Sirs Waders - slave being an object to be made use of - its comfort, cleanliness, warmth etc of being no concern to Sir - just its degradation to being an object for Sir to use 


This continued a number of times - sometimes Sir starting to walk over slave on its leg sometimes straight onto back.


Approaching a deeper wetter puddle slave made the mistake of walking over it and bypassing - Sir instructed it to always walk through a puddle when it sees one not to avoid.  This made its feet wet and cold and muddy.  It enjoyed the fact that Sir chose where it was permitted to walk and the fact it didn't have the protection of a suit or waders that Sir had.  Enjoyed fact Sir doesn't care how wet or muddy slaves clothes get just that he enjoyed the humiliation of the slave being exposed filthy and subhuman beneath Himself and His superior waterproof and warm clothing.


There was then a failed attempt for slave to try and give Sir a shoulder high.  Was disappointed it wasn't able to do it and have Sir ride it like an animal for his pleasure - his waders rubbing their muck off on its clothing as he rode it. 


Approaching a bench Sir was now about to permit it to lick clean his dirty waders.  Ordering slave to check no walkers approaching first (somehow it was glad to check as such public exposure would not be something it would enjoy), it was then ordered to kneel in front of Sirs boots.  It began licking.  Appreciate Sir has told that it's skills were inadequate but if it's any form of defence it struggles here whether to do what it wants to do await orders or how to lick them - if that makes sense.  The boots were indeed very filthy and the muck and debris soon filled its mouth.  It enjoyed it so much - the humiliation of it all - the fact it's an object and it's mouth is seen as nothing but an object for Sir or order to clean his boots.  Partly into this Sir pointed out that it had not paid for the privilege to lick them clean - so it handed over the money to Sir and Him.  It was ordered onto cleaning the soles.  Something most would consider disgusting but something that slave sees itself as being the object for such a job.  Sir ordered it to start using its teeth to get the dirt out of the grooves. Again it's mouth filled even moreso with dirt and it was a struggle to spit it all out.  Slave continued onto the other boot which had much thicker clumped up bits of mud to work off.  Then followed some hand standing from Sir. 


Continuing the walk - we eventually came to much muddier walkways where slave was ordered to lie in the mud to be used as a bridge for Sir and it found itself sinking in the mud and getting cold and wet.  Think Sir enjoyed this moreso as did slave - not that slaves enjoyment is of importance.  This is also i think where Sir asked if it's pain threshold was high which slave thinks it is and then Sir tested this against slaves hands and body and neck.  Pressing harder into slave.  wrong as it sounds it just felt right to have Sirs boots pressing down onto its hands.  


Finding a tree stump Sir climbed on top of it - which was the perfect height for slave to again proceed with bootlicking and for Sir to have a superior vantage point over slave.  Sir said it was a pity there was no manure to stomp in for slave to lick clean off and would slave enjoy that - slave replied that if Sir would enjoy it then slave would as that's what was important.  


Leaving that area we actually came across some horse manure which Sir stomped in but we soon found others in the forest and it thinks the moment passed to torment its cleaning hole further by ordering it to clean such off his soles. 


Getting back to the car park slave waited obediently by Sirs car to be dismissed as Sir changed.  Sir asked slave what it was going to do when it got home and it i advised Sir it would order the items from his list that he had provided it previously.   Sir was m amused by the state of slaves outfit and asked to take a pic which slave conceded to - slave was then dismissed. 


Not sure if this is something of interest to note but getting home and showering etc but it's feet got so dirty the muck was ingrained in its toe nails, it's hands also needed quite a scrub.  Also it kept finding bits of grit in and around it's teeth hours after serving.


Amused slave that it requires such an amount of cleaning and Sir was basically immaculate.  


Hope that it hasn't disappointed in any way with the above story.  It was really an honour to serve you today Sir and it looks forward to improving in the future -  would welcome any tips on how it can better perform and impress Sir

What is Ethical Findom?
Posted by HadrianTemple

(This is a post from my blog at gaybdsmfiction.blog)

A boy contacted me this morning and asked me, "I'm just curious here. What is ethical findom?" The boy has an established presence on Twitter as a cashslave, so he wasn't just wanting information about findom--he already knew what it was. He wanted to know how ethical findom differed from findom as it's commonly practiced on Twitter. And that struck me as a good subject for a blog post. 

Findom, for those who aren't familiar with it, is the use of money as a tool for power exchange in an erotic context. A 'cashslave' or 'cashfag' will give money or presents to his 'cashmaster' as a way of expressing his inferiority to his cashmaster. While the practice is ancient--it goes back at least to ancient Greece-- in recent years it's exploded online, and a lot of people who are not particularly kinky have used it as a form of sex work to make money. This has given rise to a wide range of seriously problematic practices, such as findoms pushing their cashslaves to ruin themselves financially, blackmailing their subs into continuing a relationship against the cashslave's consent, encouraging subs to get high so they lose control of their tributing, and intentionally seeking to damage a sub's mental health, for example by making them feel that they're so pathetic that the only way anyone will pay attention to them is if they send money. 

As a result, there is a burning need for the establishment of a basic standard of what is and isn't acceptable in findom play, the same way the rest of the kink community has developed standards of play (such as making informed consent the bedrock of kink play). Since I come to findom as a kink, not as a form of sex work (which, to be clear, I am not condemning), it feels absolutely natural to me to approach findom from an ethical perspective, and I'm rather appalled by some of the crap I've seen and heard about in the online findom community. 

So what is ethical findom?

Ethical findom is doing findom with ethical standards intended to protect the sub's basic financial well-being and mental health. 

It's helpful to look at the basics of ethical kink in general. Take impact play--using crops, canes, floggers, and so on to hurt a boy. The goal of impact play is to create hurt, not harm. I want the boy I'm beating to feel erotic pain, but I don't want to actually injure him. So I only want to beat a boy who consents to be beaten. I only want to hit him in places where it's safe to hit him. I need to provide the boy with safe words or other ways to slow down or stop the play when he feels he needs that. I need to look out for him as I beat him to make sure that I'm not potentially harming him even if he's not telling me to stop (for example, a boy being flogged may go into subspace, a euphoric state where he can no longer feel pain, which means I might be injuring him and he wouldn't use his safe word). When the scene is over, I provide him with aftercare, to help him come back from his submissive headspace (unless he indicates he doesn't want that). 

The same basic standards apply to findom play. I only do play with boys who are willing to sent tribute. So things like b*******l are unethical (not to mention highly illegal), unless the boy has requested a b*******l dynamic (consensual b*******l is still legally risky for the dom, but some subs crave it). 

I want my cashslave to feel the sexual charge of tributing (that might be humiliation or the thrill of talking to a hot dom or the satisfaction of serving me well), but I don't want him harming himself financially, for example finding himself unable to pay his rent or falling deeply into debt just to tribute. So unless a boy just wants a brief one-off tribute moment, I always discuss the budget he has to work with so I can stop the play when he hits the limits of his budget. If I know that he can only afford to send $100 a month, I'll stretch out the play over the course of the month, maybe only demanding $10-15 at a time. That way he can have the thrill of me pressing him to tribute but knowing he's safe because I won't push him beyond what he can afford. The focus becomes not the amount of money I'm taking but how we get there. Do I seduce it out of him? Do I humiliate and verbally abuse him? Do I use hypnotism so he feels like a literal ATM dispensing money from my "account"? 

If my cashslave indicates that he's got an unexpected expense, I adjust my demands instead of trying to force him to send what he can't afford. During the Covid lockdown, I reviewed my boys' budgets and adjusted expectations accordingly. And I reassured the ones who had to sharply reduce their tributing that they were still important to me and continued to chat with them without taking tribute, or taking only very nominal tributes. One of my most memorable sessions involved taking half an hour to demand $1; the boy literally got so worked up that he spontaneously orgasmed hands-free when I finally allowed him to send it. 

I provide aftercare. Literal aftercare usually involves cuddling and things like that, but obviously that doesn't work very well online. So my version of aftercare is simply talking to the boy after the tribute is over, demonstrating that I care about him as a human being and not simply as a wallet. When my boys are feeling frustrated or scared or angry about something in their lives, I listen to them and offer support and advice. I often ask them about their goals in life and then start pushing them to meet their goals. One of my boys recently expressed interest in setting up his own business--basically taking what he did professionally and doing it more as a freelancer than for a company. So I asked him what the first steps in that process were and then told him that I would be expecting a progress update in a few weeks. I had another boy who wanted to lose weight, so I ordered him to tribute me the cost of the coffee-drinks he said he was consuming too often, helping him reduce his calorie intake. Since subs are generally eager to please their doms, that allows me to help encourage them to achieve their goals. 

In other words, I try to build a dynamic that fits my needs and my cashslave's needs and makes him feel valued and cared about. I seek to be more than a financial parasite, helping the boy grow not just as a cashslave but as a human being. Of course, every boy is different in terms of what he wants and, in my opinion, what he needs. One of my boys likes to do 'silent sending', where I don't acknowledge it when he sends money to my account. It makes him feel small and unobtrusive, which feels right for him. But I make sure that every couple weeks I reach out to him and demonstrate that I do see his tribute. When he sends gifts, I always post them on Twitter. 

In my mind, ethics are what separates findom for ruthless exploitation of a sub. As a superior man, it's my job to let a sub explore and indulge his desires while protecting them from the more destructive tendencies they can often have. It's common for subs to fantasize about financial ruin, so I'll sometimes incorporate the idea into a scene, boasting about how greedy I am and how badly I'm going to ruin them, but that's the findom equivalent of a sadistic dom boasting about how much pain his masochist is going to be in. I enjoy letting a boy worship my greed, the same way I enjoy letting my cruel urges come out during a humiliation or pain play scene, but as a dom, it's my job to know how to restrain those urges so I don't actually cause harm with them.

I've had a couple of boys who had the resources to tribute very substantially, and we've discussed ways for the sub to sacrifice for me, for example by cooking at home and not going out to an expensive dinner so the boy can send the money he would have spent at the restaurant. But I've always made it clear that there are limits to what I'll allow the boy to send, and when I discuss budgets I always make sure the budget includes money for savings and money to buy friends birthday presents and so on. 

Obviously there are ethical grey areas in findom, just as there are in other aspects of the kink scene. Another findom might draw his ethical line a bit more broadly or a bit more tightly than I do. There are ethical questions about the use of intoxicants during play, about things like consensual b*******l, about what sorts of things a cashslave should or shouldn't be willing to sacrifice, about how much he should let his tributing restrict his socializing, and so on. These are issues that each findom has to resolve for himself and on a case-by-case basis with each boy. But I think the broad outlines of ethical findom are fairly easy to discern once the findom starts thinking about them. And I think the parallel with other forms of kink play is extremely important, because it allows us to isolate the ethical issues for consideration. 

The discussion about ethical findom is still, I'm afraid, in its early stages. The idea that ethical findom is an actual thing is not as wide-spread as it should be (which is one reason this kink has such a bad reputation among those not in the scene). There isn't a consensus yet among ethical findoms about what the basic standards are, although I know it when I see it. So if you're in this scene, I definitely want to hear from you. Feel free to post in the comments! And look for the #ethicalfindom hashtag on Twitter. 

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