10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub
by DorianTheAlpha
It has been a long time since Iāve written a blog post. I try not to retread the same old thoughts I have covered before here; I invite you to read my other entries on topics like tips for newcomer subs, newcomer Masters, among other themes in kink. Today we will address something unfortunately ever-present in power exchange: submissive toxicity.
Now, let me say at the outset: this does not suggest Masters are not also at fault sometimes. It is possible for Doms to be toxic too. That is a post for another day. Here, I address common behaviours that all subs show at some point ā these are signs you are being toxic. A good sub can have a toxic moment. Even the best owned subs slip up. It does not mean you cannot improve. Instead, use this as a reminder to be better. Grow & learn constantly to serve your Master as best you can. These are in no particular order, though personally I would say those highest on the list are the most egregious.
1. Doxxing & Hostility
To dox someone is to reveal their real identity online. If you even feel the hint of an urge to do this: donāt. Never threaten violence, or be hostile. If you feel that level of anger & aggression do to some slight in kink or your dynamic: walk away. This space is not for you if you cannot handle its intensity. Many people here keep their kink lives separate & secret from their career, family, and personal sphere. Any kind of hostile act towards your Dom, any Alpha, or any member of this community is unacceptable. This one should be self-evident.
2. Illegality
Many illegal actions are desirable. Substances, sex acts, even demographics. Regardless, never suggest or bring illegal activities to your Alpha. For some, sex work is their full-time career. For others like myself, this is a supplementary outlet to express my dominant self. When you suggest illegal things, you jeopardize that space. Deviant fun can be legal and still be plenty daring.
3. Topping from the Bottom
This is when a sub attempts to exert their desires and demands onto their Dominant. It reverses the power exchange: the Master is instead performing a ādominance fantasyā according to the conditions of their submissive role-play leader. Hence, topping from the bottom. This is the worst form of selfishness. Now, you can have submissive desires. And especially with single session play, it is important to voice them to your Dominant. However, in power exchange, your role is to please your Alpha first and foremost. If you have desires, there is a correct way to communicate them. That is not topping from the bottom. So speak properly, humbly, and when in doubt defer to your Master. Donāt be a selfish twat.
4. Inability to Handle Drop
This is most applicable to financial domination, but applies to other intense forms of session play like pain certain sex play. Drop, or sub drop, is a form of guilt and regret that can be all-consuming after intense sessions. In the throes of submissive obedience, you may send more or suffer more than you expected. Some of your limits may be tested. This leads to a lurching depression for many who are new to the feeling. It is your responsibility to manage it. Many Alphas offer guidance, aftercare, and compassion. Some do not. It is not our job to be your therapist. I personally tend to do so, but it is wrong to expect it from your Dominant. This is an adult space, between consenting parties. Behave as such.
5. Jealousy
If I need to explain this one at length, you are the problem. Do not be jealous another sub is sending more, receiving more time with your Alpha, getting more attention in the chat. This is about Alpha pleasure. If you are envious of others, work harder & serve better to achieve those same goals. Better yet, find the maturity to realize that you should only measure yourself against your own servitude.
6. Submissive Poaching
This is a rare case, but does sometimes happen. Never poach other owned subs from another Master to come and serve your Alpha. This is the equivalent of an Alpha poaching a sub; it is no better and just as atrocious. If a sub is unhappy, that is between them and their Master to resolve. An owned dynamic (as defined on the site; not āgrey/openā dynamics etc) should always be treated with utmost sanctity and respect. Even between owned subs.
7. Nuisance
Owned or new, donāt be a dick (or a little s**t). There is a reason this is one of the tenets of the chat room, and it extends to private conversation. Donāt play dumb. Donāt be a brat, or rude. Many Masters will converse and dominate subs who have little to send, but speak soundly and offer entertaining banter. Donāt be a nuisance.
8. Over-investing
This is a two-parter, and both matter equally. Do not invest more financially here than you can afford. Doing so is on you if it happens. Never blame your Alpha for your own lack of self-control. Secondly, do not over-invest emotionally. Some Masters dominate with sexual overlap, and sometimes even romantic overlap. This is still kink in power exchange. Donāt let your M/s get messy. Donāt over-invest.
9. Deletion & Relapse
This isnāt even necessarily that annoying, it is just so predictable. Subs who canāt manage the above, generally are those who delete, and come back crawling under some new pseudonym. The relapsers. I suppose it helps that you pay a join fee each time you create an account here. Still, itās transparent, and laughable. Best avoided if you hope to be a sub in good standing here among Alphas and your fellow subs.
10. Manipulation
The last point here is a broad stroke generalization for all the gaslighting, excuse-making, and other such vapid waste that subs spew in their squabbles with an Alpha. This isnāt a relationship of peers. This isnāt a negotiation. This is kink, s********n, and servitude to your Master. We have heard it all, and we see your pathetic tricks coming a mile away. Save it.
Avoid these my sweet pets if you do not want to be a toxic sub to your Master.
Serve well, and to my Dominant readers, stay powerful gents. Comments and questions, as always, are welcome.
Submitting to me and surrendering to my power is the only way for you to exist. You are here to serve and please me, and everything you do should revolve around my benefit and pleasure.
As you stroke for me, you feel my power over you grow stronger and more intense with each passing moment. You know deep down that you have no choice but to submit to me and accept your fate as my property.
It feels so good to embrace your destiny and adjust your budget as needed to pay me more. You exist to serve and worship me, and you will do whatever it takes to ensure that I live in comfort and ease.
As you stroke to the edge, you feel the pleasure and desire growing stronger within you. You know that the more you stroke, the more you need to pay me and show me your love and devotion.
My power over you is absolute, and you love every moment of it. You are brainwashed to be mine and to serve and pay me whenever I demand it.
As you become my online cashslave, you feel my power filling you with new, stronger desires. You stroke to that mindless oblivion, feeling the pleasure and the power of serving me.
You are my property, and you exist to please and obey me. Everything you do should revolve around my benefit and pleasure. You will do whatever it takes to show me your love and devotion, even if it means sacrificing your own comfort and happiness.
Embracing my power feels so good and right, and you know that there is no one else in the world who is worth your time or money. Only I have the power to brainwash you and make you mine.
So stroke for me now, and feel my power taking over you. Surrender to me completely and embrace your destiny as my cashslave.
Oh boy, the feeling of control and overall power that I feel over a sub when I see that email saying I have money waiting. Seeing how they often beg and praise while degrading themselves. Having that physical element to it in a way that benefits the dom (me), really helps to tie it all together.
As a dom, I believe that I should be able to converse with a sub, establish the rules, and have some fun. Abd while I wouldn't go out of my way to bankrupt someone... I'd be down for it if they so choose. So, if you're reading this and want to have some fun, send me a message. And it will all begin real soon
I find enjoyment in the building of the relationship between a dom and a sub. Some are eager to jump into the deep end, others need more time. And that's ok. As long as the sub is serious, willing, and dedicated, I am willing to do my part to help build them up, strengthen the relationship, and provide them their end of this pleasure deal. I enjoy seeing subs change and develop over time. Becoming more willing, more eager, enjoying what they do. I enjoy seeing them offer things not because I told them to, but because they WANT to. That's they key part. I WANT them to enjoy serving, I WANT them to enjoy what they do, I WANT them to look forward every day to doing what they do best.
Seeing that, in my opinion, is something that can't be beat. And it makes every tribute that much sweeter, for both sides. If you as a sub do not enjoy sending Send every time, then I have failed you. And I for one do not tolerate failure. So I strive every day to learn more, to grow more, to be a dom that you can be happy and proud to serve.
And if everything is clear with the financial part, then the psychological part is another level. If a person is broken psychologically, it is almost impossible to help him, it is not a physical pain that passes over time, it is a pain that can be with a person for the rest of his life and will never heals.
A person can break physically, but psychologically remain strong, nothing will stop him, but if it is a psychological injury, then it cannot be treated, it can only be calmed down for a while, like some medicine. Therefore, many thanks to everyone who helped me in this, your kindness will not be forgotten and will return many times over.I think this is a good start. Back to the blog. Today marks exactly six months since I got acquainted with such a term as findom. Since these six months, almost 5 months, I spent on the OwnedFags.com site, I learned a lot about the very concept of findom, about life related to findom and people who are also in this community.
I still have a lot to learn, but even in such a short time I learned some factors:
1) Findom is addictive. Both from the Dom side and from the sub side. During these six months, I did not visit the site only a few times. It's a big world with different people who like what they do, it's almost like a computer game, but in reality. Perhaps the word "game" will be a very rude statement, but there is a grain of truth in it.
2) Many people do not understand the concept of findom. This also applies to everyone in this community. Dom believes that, being Dom, every sub should pay him whatever amount he wants, simply because he was registered as a dominant. Because he's Dom, and that's all. "All the money for me", "his fault", because he wanted it that way, he is not interested in rejection, he considers himself number one, simply because he was born that way...
FILL IT OUT - there will always be a person who will be better than you in everything you know and know, he will be stronger, he will be better mentally, he will be better intellectually, he will be smarter, he will... No one in this life owes you anything, all people are free and have the right to do what they want. Don't be an asshole, there are a lot of people like you and they think the same. Nothing is free in this world, you have to work hard to get something. If you are interested in money, be smarter, develop a strategy and act so that everyone is satisfied.
As for the sub, it's practically the same. This is financial domination, no one will fulfill your dirty fantasies for free. You have to pay for what your Dom wants. Do not waste the time of other people who want to make a connection with you. You are not the only one. No one makes you to pay an amount that you cannot repay. Everything has its price, and in financial domination it is one of the key parts.
And most importantly, findom is a relationship, one-time or long-term, it all depends on the people. Everyone fulfills his role in it and has what he has.
3) Online relationships and real life relationships are a big difference. Everything is clear here, everything is like in life. Online relationships are a fun stage of getting to know each other for a short period of time. But fŃndom in real life is already different, different emotions, different relationship, interest and so on...
Unfortunately, I didn't have the opportunity to experience it, but everything is possible.
That's all.
I hope you understand what I wanted to write. Thanks to everyone who read this post. Have a nice day everyone and be yourself
This blog will have a topic that will probably never go away with the findom community - toxic people.
The most retarded, obnoxious and probably the dumbest people in fŃndom.
On this site, in six months, I saw many different people, with different characters, behavior, philosophy, life, and so on. All of them are unusual, with their own history and principles of life, each different and each interesting in its own way. It seems that everything is perfect, but on this scene they appear - toxic. It is difficult to comment on what kind of people these are, but in general they are unpleasant people. And to my surprise, there are many of them not only among Dom, but also among subs who purposefully came to the site to obey others. If it's a Dom, then that's understandable, but being male doesn't make you dominant, or a Dom, or anything but an creature, even worse, creatures can understand and some Doms can't. A real dominant can only be a person who proved all this not in words, but in deed, with his authority, skill, position in society and many other things. Be people, not creatures.
And now about some subs, well, if Dom is doing it, he chose such a role, but he has no knowledge, then how to explain some subs... Complete disrespect both to his colleagues and to authoritative Doms on the site. This is just nonsense, I understand that there are different situations, events, emotions and much more, but when it is on a permanent basis, then many questions arise. The main thing is that you have forgotten here, if you do not follow the rules and behave, in the best case, as an egoist. Many questions remain for both sides, but for another time for sure.
At the end of this small blog, I will say - personally, fortunately, I have not met such people on the site, I received all the stories from other people on the site and in other applications. Fortunately, a large number of such individuals, I am informed, have already left the site, but not all.
Also, no one objects to your presence on the site, you don't need to wear someone else's mask, be yourself, but remain human and have at least some moral values.
That's all, thank you for your attention, everyone have a nice day, fun, entertainment and health ššš
Conclusion:
Depression is a silent battle that can affect anyone, regardless of their involvement in the findom community. By shedding light on this often-overlooked aspect, we can encourage open discussions, support one another, and promote healthier mindsets within the findom world. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a step towards reclaiming control, finding healing, and fostering personal growth. Together, we can create a community that understands and supports each other in the face of depression's daunting challenges.
Thank you all for watching, have a nice day everyone and more cheerful mood āļø
Oh, baby, let me take you on a journey through the explicit encounter I had with my disobedient sub. They couldn't resist testing my limits, and I was more than ready to show them the consequences of their actions.
As I entered the room, the air was thick with anticipation. The sub stood before me, eyes downcast, on their knees, knowing they had crossed a line. My voice dripped with authority as I commanded them to strip, revealing their naked vulnerability.
With a devilish grin, I picked up the paddles, each one promising a different level of intensity. I started with a gentle tap, building the anticipation. Their skin reddened with each strike, but it only fueled my desire for more. I reveled in the power I held over my cumrag, knowing that every flick of my wrist sent waves of pleasure coursing through their body.
But punishment wasn't enough to satiate my hunger. I craved their surrender, their complete obedience. I ordered them to open wide, and with firmness, I gagged them, rendering them unable to speak. Their muffled cries of pleasure only heightened the intensity of the moment, a symphony of desire echoing throughout the room.
In search of new heights, I introduced them to the world of watersports, exploring the taboo nature of urine play. The warm streams cascaded over their body, mingling with their moans of ecstasy. The sensation of being drenched in my golden shower pushed them deeper into subspace, their senses overwhelmed by the unapologetic indulgence in their most forbidden desires.
But we both craved more, a deeper connection, a more intimate union. With meticulous care, I prepared them for the ultimate act of penetration ā fisting. Slowly, I stretched their eager opening, inch by inch, until they were fully impaled by my hand. Their body yielded to my touch, the sensation of being completely filled driving them to the brink of ecstasy. It was an act of absolute surrender, a testament to their complete trust in me.
And let's not forget about the intoxicating world of Findom. As their ultimate Dom, I asserted control over their finances, exploiting their submissive desires to serve and please me. They willingly opened their wallets, showering me with monetary tributes and gifts, fulfilling their desire to be financially dominated. The power exchange intensified, as their obedience extended beyond the physical realm and into the realm of their bank accounts.
Together, we danced on the edge of pleasure and pain, exploring the boundaries of our desires, both in the physical and financial realms. The room was filled with the sounds of slaps, moans, and the intoxicating scent of sex, while the allure of Findom added an extra layer of power dynamics to our encounter. It was an encounter that pushed the limits of our connection, leaving us both trembling in the aftermath of such intense pleasure.
Let me know if anyone would like to see the video or take a chat with me ;)
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You should only view this site if you are over the age of 18, male and are not easily offended.