I got to thinking about this question the other night. So many guys around the scene dubbing themselves as Alphas, but what does that really mean? What *truly* makes some people Alphas and others betas/omegas?
My 2 cents: Alpha is an energy. A way of being. An undeniable power that can’t be learned. An innate ability to make subordinates approach with an equal mix of fear and respect without having to say a word (or stick up a middle finger for that matter). A quiet confidence that lures inferiors no matter how much they want to resist.
Having muscles doesn’t make you an Alpha, it makes you muscular.
Having a huge cock doesn’t make you an Alpha, it makes you hung.
Berating subs with insults and degradation without consent doesn’t make you an Alpha, it makes you a bully.
I’ve used & owned faggots with muscular, Greek godlike physiques and faggots with dicks bigger than any self-proclaimed Alpha I’ve ever seen, and they kneel at My feet and worship Me because they know its where they belong & what I deserve.
Sound off in the comments if you wanna share your thoughts.
10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub
by DorianTheAlpha
It has been a long time since I’ve written a blog post. I try not to retread the same old thoughts I have covered before here; I invite you to read my other entries on topics like tips for newcomer subs, newcomer Masters, among other themes in kink. Today we will address something unfortunately ever-present in power exchange: submissive toxicity.
Now, let me say at the outset: this does not suggest Masters are not also at fault sometimes. It is possible for Doms to be toxic too. That is a post for another day. Here, I address common behaviours that all subs show at some point — these are signs you are being toxic. A good sub can have a toxic moment. Even the best owned subs slip up. It does not mean you cannot improve. Instead, use this as a reminder to be better. Grow & learn constantly to serve your Master as best you can. These are in no particular order, though personally I would say those highest on the list are the most egregious.
1. Doxxing & Hostility
To dox someone is to reveal their real identity online. If you even feel the hint of an urge to do this: don’t. Never threaten violence, or be hostile. If you feel that level of anger & aggression do to some slight in kink or your dynamic: walk away. This space is not for you if you cannot handle its intensity. Many people here keep their kink lives separate & secret from their career, family, and personal sphere. Any kind of hostile act towards your Dom, any Alpha, or any member of this community is unacceptable. This one should be self-evident.
2. Illegality
Many illegal actions are desirable. Substances, sex acts, even demographics. Regardless, never suggest or bring illegal activities to your Alpha. For some, sex work is their full-time career. For others like myself, this is a supplementary outlet to express my dominant self. When you suggest illegal things, you jeopardize that space. Deviant fun can be legal and still be plenty daring.
3. Topping from the Bottom
This is when a sub attempts to exert their desires and demands onto their Dominant. It reverses the power exchange: the Master is instead performing a “dominance fantasy” according to the conditions of their submissive role-play leader. Hence, topping from the bottom. This is the worst form of selfishness. Now, you can have submissive desires. And especially with single session play, it is important to voice them to your Dominant. However, in power exchange, your role is to please your Alpha first and foremost. If you have desires, there is a correct way to communicate them. That is not topping from the bottom. So speak properly, humbly, and when in doubt defer to your Master. Don’t be a selfish twat.
4. Inability to Handle Drop
This is most applicable to financial domination, but applies to other intense forms of session play like pain certain sex play. Drop, or sub drop, is a form of guilt and regret that can be all-consuming after intense sessions. In the throes of submissive obedience, you may send more or suffer more than you expected. Some of your limits may be tested. This leads to a lurching depression for many who are new to the feeling. It is your responsibility to manage it. Many Alphas offer guidance, aftercare, and compassion. Some do not. It is not our job to be your therapist. I personally tend to do so, but it is wrong to expect it from your Dominant. This is an adult space, between consenting parties. Behave as such.
5. Jealousy
If I need to explain this one at length, you are the problem. Do not be jealous another sub is sending more, receiving more time with your Alpha, getting more attention in the chat. This is about Alpha pleasure. If you are envious of others, work harder & serve better to achieve those same goals. Better yet, find the maturity to realize that you should only measure yourself against your own servitude.
6. Submissive Poaching
This is a rare case, but does sometimes happen. Never poach other owned subs from another Master to come and serve your Alpha. This is the equivalent of an Alpha poaching a sub; it is no better and just as atrocious. If a sub is unhappy, that is between them and their Master to resolve. An owned dynamic (as defined on the site; not “grey/open” dynamics etc) should always be treated with utmost sanctity and respect. Even between owned subs.
7. Nuisance
Owned or new, don’t be a dick (or a little s**t). There is a reason this is one of the tenets of the chat room, and it extends to private conversation. Don’t play dumb. Don’t be a brat, or rude. Many Masters will converse and dominate subs who have little to send, but speak soundly and offer entertaining banter. Don’t be a nuisance.
8. Over-investing
This is a two-parter, and both matter equally. Do not invest more financially here than you can afford. Doing so is on you if it happens. Never blame your Alpha for your own lack of self-control. Secondly, do not over-invest emotionally. Some Masters dominate with sexual overlap, and sometimes even romantic overlap. This is still kink in power exchange. Don’t let your M/s get messy. Don’t over-invest.
9. Deletion & Relapse
This isn’t even necessarily that annoying, it is just so predictable. Subs who can’t manage the above, generally are those who delete, and come back crawling under some new pseudonym. The relapsers. I suppose it helps that you pay a join fee each time you create an account here. Still, it’s transparent, and laughable. Best avoided if you hope to be a sub in good standing here among Alphas and your fellow subs.
10. Manipulation
The last point here is a broad stroke generalization for all the gaslighting, excuse-making, and other such vapid waste that subs spew in their squabbles with an Alpha. This isn’t a relationship of peers. This isn’t a negotiation. This is kink, s********n, and servitude to your Master. We have heard it all, and we see your pathetic tricks coming a mile away. Save it.
Avoid these my sweet pets if you do not want to be a toxic sub to your Master.
Serve well, and to my Dominant readers, stay powerful gents. Comments and questions, as always, are welcome.
There was this kid I met through a findom website. I say 'kid' but he was in his mid-20s and had served two tours of duty in the US Army. He was a good kid -- but life had dealt him quite a few tough hands. We chatted a bit and had a bit of a dynamic going on -- but nothing serious.
One day we were chatting and came up with a new proposal. I would take oversight of his finances, and use that to control him. It was a fun prospect. He found a website that could link to all his bank/credit/savings accounts and give a dashboard overview of all his spending and balances. It was a 'read only' view: he could give me the password without allowing me to spend his money.
Quickly it became clear that his spending was chaotic. He was a student and living quite modestly, but had no concept of controlling his spending, or making a budget. So we went through and created a budget, designed to deliver a small surplus at the end of each month. The deal would be that half of the surplus was due to be handed over to me, and the other half would go to his savings.
And so, day by day, week by week, I kept oversight of his spending, and made sure he stuck to the budget. Spending that was out of line incurred a penalty -- an extra amount to be added to the amount owed to me. When he broke down and paid other FinDoms, the penalty was that he had to add twice as much to his debt to me. With regular contact, this started to fuck with his head. Every frivolous expenditure made him feel like he was robbing me, because it reduced the monthly surplus. He learned to visualise me every time he used his debit card. He remarked on how invasive and taboo it was to have someone else looking at the intimate details of his bank account. It was a very intense relationship for a while --- even though we only met once in this period (living on different continents).
The process worked, and he quickly understood how to set a budget, and how to keep to it. I had no intention of actually taking a pay-out: he was living far too close to the edge for me to think that ethical. But he believed that I would. And that was enough.
After about six months, the arrangement came to a natural end with a change of circumstances. His debt to me was quite significant. At that point he figured out --- maybe he figured it out earlier --- that I wasn't going to collect there and then. But the deal is that someday when he's a bit richer, he owes me a pair of Wesco boots.
The kid turned his finances around and now understands how to budget. He even plays it forward and dominates other subs --- though I think he takes their money. It was an intense, horny, satisfying experience with real power exchange, without any money changing hands. Findom comes in many flavours.
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