User blogs

Findom Approach: The Abridged Version
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

by DorianTheAlpha


I have an older post that delves into this in greater detail. Consider this a pocket version.


When you are first approaching an Alpha you want to serve:


1. Send before speaking. Even if only 50 tips. A gesture to prove you're serious, and selfless.


2. Know your Master. Likes, dislikes, style of domination, expectations.


3. Speak clearly, and learn quickly. Always over-communicate unless He says otherwise.


4. Set your limits with Him, and respect His. Within that, obey. Always.


5. Be proactive & creative. Plan, save, earn, send more and please Him however you can.


--


The full version explores these and more in greater detail, but follow these five steps and thrive for your Master.

Apology: How To
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

by DorianTheAlpha


Newcomers and seasoned subs alike... every pet makes mistakes.


It might be a simple slip-up, or a catastrophic failure. 


The next time you misstep in your submission to an Alpha,

follow these steps to find your way back into their best graces.


How to apologize in findom:


1. Send.


2. Admit your mistake, earnestly.


3. Correct the problem to avoid recurrence.


4. If forgiven, thank your Master profusely.


If that doesn't work, repeat. Chances are you didn't do step 1 quite enough.


Best of luck My little pets.

Defining Submission and Servitude
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

It's been a while since I've posted something here. Today, we're discussing submission and servitude.


First, let's define them:

Submission: the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a Superior F*rce or to the will or authority of Another.
Servitude: the state of being a slave or completely subject to Someone more powerful.


Now, there are plenty of kink spaces. In them, you can explore deviant bottom acts, without serving submissively.


If you are here, you are here to serve. Look at the website name. Read its description. 


This is about pleasing Alpha Masters.


When you act entitled, whine, complain, lie, run, and cheat: you are not submissive. 


Nor are you servile. No, you're just vile.


Submissive servitude is very simple, but it is not easy. Simple and easy are not the same thing.


It is simple in that if you follow a single maxim, you will thrive: please your Master, always.


It is not easy, because after the first rush fades, you have a choice: regress to selfish stupidity, or flourish.


A recent failure of Mine is now in the dungeon for a second time. Hopefully, it will read this and learn. Doubtful.


To My better pets, and the useful submissives other Alphas here own proudly: continue.


It's a simple definition, yet not easy to manifest. But when it does come to be: submissive servitude is bliss.

10 Tips for Masters Who Are New to OwnedFags
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

My blogs are typically about submission. How to serve better etc.


This one is specifically for Masters new to the site. Read up & enjoy.


Feel free to DM if anything below is unclear.


1. Read the rules.


Read the website rules. Read about kink, about D/s ownership.

Read up on findom.

If you're going to try a new kink a sub proposes. Study it. Ask other Alphas.

Everyone starts somewhere. You are given the power to govern a slave's body, mind, and wallet.

Wield that power responsibly, within the guidelines set for this community.

The only tribute allowed here are those sent with OwnedFags tips. No other tribute methods allowed. Period.


2. It takes longer than you realize.


For every useful sub, there are 20 timewasting pretenders.

For every lasting sub, it takes 20 who are fleetingly useful.

So if you're a math guy: that's roughly a 0.25% ownership rate on every sub interaction you have.

Lots of empty-handed, empty-headed strokers. The truly servile sluts are few & far between.


3. Don't do it for the money.


Ultimately, no one is here for the money (or shouldn't be). It's a fun byproduct of a kink: findom.

Findom is about power exchange through currency transfer. Much like bondage is through mobility transfer.

It's just another vector for a submissive to surrender to its Dominant, whether in session or lasting servitude.

If you need money, get a job or sell items. Desperate Alphas are always see-through, and fail. Just truth.


4. Build relationships with other Alphas.


Focus on the other Dominants here. Chat with them. Learn without being clingy about it.

Some, like myself, occasionally whore out their owned fags.

Especially at first, do not DM any slave here that has a lock; that is officially owned. Never.

If that slave reaches out, message the Alpha first.

Once you create a rapport with the Alpha, learn which owned sluts are allowed to & choose to chat, then do so.

Ultimately, conduct yourself so that you are earning the respect of your Alpha peers first and foremost. Always.


5. Find your style.


Emulation is natural. As with any craft, there will be those you look up to.

Take care not to let emulation become imitation. No one likes a copycat.

Find your original voice within the aspects of others you admire.

Ultimately, the most successful Alphas here are such because they are true to themselves.

For instance, I'm a soft-spoken Master. At times, I get harsh, but it's not My innate voice.

I know that, and I stick to it. Others do the opposite. It's about range & authenticity.


6. Build your brand.


A fair bit of domination is marketing. Content is king, engagement is queen, context is god.

Post as often as you can (without spamming). Find a cadence that works.

Few subs are attracted to empty profiles. Post pics. Make vids. Write blogs. Chat publicly.

Engage with others' posts and content, esp Alphas. Care about this community; not just yourself.


7. Set limits, and respect others’.


Not every sub will be a match with you. Maybe you hate piss play; piss pigs won't align with your style.

Maybe you want to solely focus on findom. Maybe findom is secondary to you.

Many subs focus on real-time meets, and even within that types of meets (eg dungeon play).

Be clear about your desires, your dislikes, and focus on those with whom your dynamic could line up.


8. Recognize the toll this takes.


Drop is real. The defeat, deflation, or other such blues felt in kink.

It can be sub drop following a heavy drain or kink session.

it can be Alpha drop after 15 timewasters exhaust you mentally.

Maybe your personal life is impacting your motivation to dominate, or create content.

Be mindful of the weight of your work here.

Yes, dominance is effortless.

But domination is hard work. And acknowledging that is crucial to lasting success.

Take days off. Communicate them to your slaves. The real ones will understand.

Likewise, sometimes subs need to step away. Not all Alphas accept that, but it is equally normal.


9. It isn't a competition.


It's easy to get caught up in the points. The Pantheon & slave market positions.

I've been guilty of it, as I'm sure many others are.

Domination (and submission) are about the intimacy & thrill of power exchange.

Owning a fag is about fulfilling Your Alpha desires together, through their sacrifice & your domination.

Each dynamic is unique. It's own singular bond. No two subs should compete, even serving the same Master.

And no two Masters should compete, because I'll never be Garboss, SkinbossDan, or Fidelio.

They have their styles, their successes, their subs. I have Mine. That's a great thing.

It's the range of kink, and domination.


10. Have fun with it.


I've learned so much about myself through domination.

How sadistic I can be. How compassionate I am.

If you aren't here to enjoy yourself, and create enjoyment for others (even with pain or struggle)

Then you're likely here for the wrong reasons.

Consider this an extensions of "don't do it for the money".


Cheers.

blog A, The hairdressing salon.
Posted by MasterPete

Blog  A,


Yes I know I have already posted blog B, but now that makes both A and B posted so I hope your all happy now or at least you will be by the end.


Let me take you back again to 1989, a very good year for hony times in my life.  I was a late starter when it comes to sex.   My first sexual experience was a blowjob on my 20th birthday in a cottage in Northampton but by the end of 1989 at the age of 23 I had had more quick blowjobs, one nights and kinky stuff than any one else I know.  I don't boast when I say, it was a bad day if I had not had at least one mouth round my cock.  However this like all the other blog posts will be about just one of the experiences.


If you know London and news paper history you may have heard of Fleet Street and off Fleet Street you may know of a pub called "The Thunderer", Of cause the name dose not matter nether why it has that name but just so you know, it was because the printing pressies in the building on one side of the pub made such a thunderous noise.  On the other side was a door and you when though the door and up the stars to a hairdressers salon.   Yes I know what fun a hairdressers!, well this was the first party my first love(for another story) and I when to in London.    


So invites been made and we all when to The Thunderer after work(remember I worked back stage in the west end) so we don't get to the pub until just before last orders or maybe it was after I'm not to sure, this pub was well know for lock-ins(a way for pubs to please there regulars and get around the licensing laws. Once the the doors are locked it's a private party and not a pub).  On this night owner said "we'r locking the doors so you should go home now"  Many people leave and those in the know stay.   By now I know it would be an all nighter, we stayed for one or was it two more rounds before asking to be let out to go next door.  The person on the door winked at me as we left not sure if I saw him later or not.  


Opening the next door to go up the hairdressing salon there's a staircase with very camp decor and TV screens (6 of them) going up.  In the day time when the salon was open they displayed hair styles and a like but now! each one was displaying a different porn movie,   The one at the top was the only one that had the sound on. Porn movies all the same sounds that don't sync with the action.  At the top of the stars we turned left in though the main doors.  Well think 70's pink, gold, camp.....and so on, I am sure all of you will be able to fill in the rest.  A glass of Champagne Sir, handed to me by a young man in a french maids outfit.  Not a Anne Summers sex game outfit but a proper one.  Each of the six hairdressing chars had a almost nude you man chained to it and there was 3 other maids milling around.  Can you imagine how my head was spinning and it was not from the drink.  Did things like this happen? No, Yes, YES!!! WTF FUCK this was real.  These are all the thoughts going though my mind.


Well I was going to make this one blog but it's getting very long and I don't want to rush it. 

So end of Part 1 of blog A, Part 2 to come.

10 Things Specific to Online Financial Domination
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

10 Things Specific to Online Financial Domination


by DorianTheAlpha


#1 - Discipline

No, not the kinky kind. I’m talking about self-discipline. It’s easy to be motivated at the start, or after a heavy drain, maybe you’ve just owned a new fag or two. Not everyday will be motivating. Some days this might even feel like work, down right discouraging. Discipline is what separates the flashes in the pan from the those who stand the test of time (this is true for Dominants and submissives).


#2 - Communication

Online domination is noisy. Very noisy. Being a strong communicator is a key part of succeeding here, but that doesn’t mean being everywhere all the time. Be thoughtful about where you want to focus your own energy, and in those places: be responsive. With your fellow Alphas, with owned fags, with loyal sluts: make time and be thoughtful in your replies. A stale dynamic rarely lasts long. M/s is above all a relationship.


#3 - Decisions

I wrote this point specifically for Alphas new to online scenes. Timewasting: when a sub seeks free attention without any intention to serve you. The more I consider the idea, the more I realize it presumes an Alpha does not choose how to spend that time. When you indulge a timewaster, you the Alpha spend that time wastefully. It’s important to get to know potential servants. See: communication. Decide with intention, and stand firm by your choices while also…


#4 - Learning

Ultimately, the decisions you make are based on judgment. I’ve made decisions I later changed (past blogs, notably). There is a difference between flip-flopping a choice, and growing as a Dominant. No one is above improvement, and yes even as Alphas we can and are sometimes wrong. Whether it’s a fellow Master, a seasoned sub, or a brilliantly written borderline Nobel-prize-winning calibre blog — there’s always more to learn.


#5 - Responsibility & Ethics

I often hear from Alphas that it’s the sub’s responsibility not to self-destruct. And this is true. Ultimately, kinks like findom are power exchange between two consenting adults. That said, the best dynamics here exist because the Master & slave trust each other, deeply. Be responsible with your subs. Be ethical in your domination. Now, you can still leave a bitch battered, bruised, mouth full of ash, piss, spit, and weeping in a way that they fully consent to & even thank you for while begging for more. Intensity & extremes can and should still be responsibly, ethically carried out.


#6 - Community

Is the cash fun? Obviously. Do you know what’s more fun? The people that make this place great.

It’s called power exchange, not tips exchange. If you *need* the money, then you’re starting this for the wrong reasons (that’s just My perspective). If you’re only interested in heartless cash grabbing, you’re going to grow bored quick regardless of your success. Community is what makes OF, more than anything else.

 

#7 - Respect

Rule 1 - don’t be a dick. And it is rule #1 for a reason. That goes for Masters to Masters, Masters to fags, and fags to fags (obviously most of all fags to Masters). There’s plenty of Alphas here who use a sharp, punitive tone, while also doing so respectfully. Respect doesn’t have to be soft, or cuddly. I don’t agree with all of you. I don’t even like some of you. But being a toxic twat is a surefire way to alienate yourself or worse get banned from the site. Be better. Respect everyone.


#8 - Start

Unsure whether you’ve got what it takes to dominate online? Try it. Do it. Open your account. Verify, read the rules, and dive right in. Worried messaging subs will make you seem weak? Write them. Send PMs. Test what works best. You can only get better. This is the cliché classic “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. It’s especially true of the online space where you’re just an avatar and a handle until you make yourself more than that. So make yourself more than that.


#9 - Stop

I don’t know who told you to start but that was a horrible idea. Stupid.

I joke, but the notion that you need to be always-on and constantly grinding will burn out the best of us. Taking breaks matters. Prioritizing your health & wellness matters. Remember that there’s more to life than the next tip notification or Pantheon climb. Stop and smell the roses. Call your grandma. Read a book. There will be subs & sending aplenty when you return. This message was brought to you by someone who is constantly failing at this particular point and in general maintaining work/life/kink balance.


#10 - Give Back

Donate to the site. There’s no elaboration here. The man’s growing a moustache for a good cause. If you haven’t put up for it: donate. Men’s health is no joke and last I checked we all had a cock between our legs.


Don’t forget to like & subscribe. New merch available soon. (This is a joke)


An unexpected find….
Posted by BikerSubUk

I’ve been on this site for a while now and had some great fun, I’ve met some lovely people but someone I met recently compelled me to sit and write a blog to mark the occasion. This is my storey of that encounter such as it is: 


If you’re looking for a shouty aggressive agro Dom there are far better choices, take your money and get some quick thrills with many of the other Masters out there and you’ll have a great time. 


If you’re looking for someone completely different then keep reading. I randomly started chatting to Master Trigger a number of weeks ago and was surprised at how quickly we clicked. Days went past with the chat getting better and better and he got me to relax and open up to him. We had great banter, he gave me some amazing advice and before long was helping me understand some of the struggles I am dealing with as a cash sub. 


The conversation is engaging, the advice is exemplary and the support he’s given me has been really valuable. Master Trigger deeply understands the mindset of a sub, the mechanics of sustainable findom and is a hugely clever individual, he could outsmart me in a second. The single most impressive point I’m here to make is that he’s not once asked me for a single tribute and has genuinely made himself available to help me out as a fellow findom enthusiast. 


I’ve actually brought him a couple of beers purely because I value you his help so much, purely out of gratitude and respect!


I could see myself developing things further with him in time but it’s so nice to find a Dom who’s interest is the kink over the cash. They say it’s what we do, not what we have that makes us who we are, I could not think of more fitting words. 

Hello everyone!
Posted by SirNoteri

Hello everyone!

I'm a 23 year old linegiver and findom, who's been having this fun since about a year, but joined this site only today.
Even though I'm rather young, I'm a strict, passionate and dominating findom. You'll get your mind fucked like nowhere else. And if you message me over on my twitter, you'll get more interaction than anywhere else.
If you have any questions, feel free to hit me up on here or on my twitter @noterii_ .
You can also welcome me with sends, and afterwards thank me for taking your money. That's what gets me hot and bothered, and is one of the reasons why I'm doing all of this.

pig looking to build walk in shower due to disability.
Posted by tatbear501

Yes, all ready to serve, near Detroit, my master lets others hold my leash, put their fingers in his ass as they work me over. Lots of piss sweat and spit, maybe some j-lube for slip. www.tatbear.com is a personal art site. Ferndale is the suburb, afternoon is usually the time, drinks, smoke, some porn. We have our roles, you are our toy for the afternoon, entertaining each of us as top and bottom, you should like to be versatile as well as have a really creative dirty mind. We have toys, tables, chains, leather, video recording area. Were both Poz, late 50s, tattooed, pierced, safe, sane, consensual (and my cock is locked up since sept 20th)


 However, the dog does have a fantasy of regularly servicing a guy (BBC or BWC or medium size its the action) that comes in the back door and pulls out cock and tells me how to pleasure his cock with the bottom of my throat. Husband would either be sitting on big plugs and dongs or filming us. Like I said I like dirty minds. Creative play is way more important than good looks or youth. Why is it so hard to find a dick that will come over for a blow job or to the skull- fuck a fat tattooed white guy.

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub

by DorianTheAlpha


It has been a long time since I’ve written a blog post. I try not to retread the same old thoughts I have covered before here; I invite you to read my other entries on topics like tips for newcomer subs, newcomer Masters, among other themes in kink. Today we will address something unfortunately ever-present in power exchange: submissive toxicity. 


Now, let me say at the outset: this does not suggest Masters are not also at fault sometimes. It is possible for Doms to be toxic too. That is a post for another day. Here, I address common behaviours that all subs show at some point — these are signs you are being toxic. A good sub can have a toxic moment. Even the best owned subs slip up. It does not mean you cannot improve. Instead, use this as a reminder to be better. Grow & learn constantly to serve your Master as best you can. These are in no particular order, though personally I would say those highest on the list are the most egregious.


1. Doxxing & Hostility

To dox someone is to reveal their real identity online. If you even feel the hint of an urge to do this: don’t. Never threaten violence, or be hostile. If you feel that level of anger & aggression do to some slight in kink or your dynamic: walk away. This space is not for you if you cannot handle its intensity. Many people here keep their kink lives separate & secret from their career, family, and personal sphere. Any kind of hostile act towards your Dom, any Alpha, or any member of this community is unacceptable. This one should be self-evident.


2. Illegality

Many illegal actions are desirable. Substances, sex acts, even demographics. Regardless, never suggest or bring illegal activities to your Alpha. For some, sex work is their full-time career. For others like myself, this is a supplementary outlet to express my dominant self. When you suggest illegal things, you jeopardize that space. Deviant fun can be legal and still be plenty daring. 


3. Topping from the Bottom

This is when a sub attempts to exert their desires and demands onto their Dominant. It reverses the power exchange: the Master is instead performing a “dominance fantasy” according to the conditions of their submissive role-play leader. Hence, topping from the bottom. This is the worst form of selfishness. Now, you can have submissive desires. And especially with single session play, it is important to voice them to your Dominant. However, in power exchange, your role is to please your Alpha first and foremost. If you have desires, there is a correct way to communicate them. That is not topping from the bottom. So speak properly, humbly, and when in doubt defer to your Master. Don’t be a selfish twat.


4. Inability to Handle Drop

This is most applicable to financial domination, but applies to other intense forms of session play like pain certain sex play. Drop, or sub drop, is a form of guilt and regret that can be all-consuming after intense sessions. In the throes of submissive obedience, you may send more or suffer more than you expected. Some of your limits may be tested. This leads to a lurching depression for many who are new to the feeling. It is your responsibility to manage it. Many Alphas offer guidance, aftercare, and compassion. Some do not. It is not our job to be your therapist. I personally tend to do so, but it is wrong to expect it from your Dominant. This is an adult space, between consenting parties. Behave as such.


5. Jealousy

If I need to explain this one at length, you are the problem. Do not be jealous another sub is sending more, receiving more time with your Alpha, getting more attention in the chat. This is about Alpha pleasure. If you are envious of others, work harder & serve better to achieve those same goals. Better yet, find the maturity to realize that you should only measure yourself against your own servitude.


6. Submissive Poaching

This is a rare case, but does sometimes happen. Never poach other owned subs from another Master to come and serve your Alpha. This is the equivalent of an Alpha poaching a sub; it is no better and just as atrocious. If a sub is unhappy, that is between them and their Master to resolve. An owned dynamic (as defined on the site; not “grey/open” dynamics etc) should always be treated with utmost sanctity and respect. Even between owned subs.


7. Nuisance

Owned or new, don’t be a dick (or a little shit). There is a reason this is one of the tenets of the chat room, and it extends to private conversation. Don’t play dumb. Don’t be a brat, or rude. Many Masters will converse and dominate subs who have little to send, but speak soundly and offer entertaining banter. Don’t be a nuisance.


8. Over-investing

This is a two-parter, and both matter equally. Do not invest more financially here than you can afford. Doing so is on you if it happens. Never blame your Alpha for your own lack of self-control. Secondly, do not over-invest emotionally. Some Masters dominate with sexual overlap, and sometimes even romantic overlap. This is still kink in power exchange. Don’t let your M/s get messy. Don’t over-invest.


9. Deletion & Relapse

This isn’t even necessarily that annoying, it is just so predictable. Subs who can’t manage the above, generally are those who delete, and come back crawling under some new pseudonym. The relapsers. I suppose it helps that you pay a join fee each time you create an account here. Still, it’s transparent, and laughable. Best avoided if you hope to be a sub in good standing here among Alphas and your fellow subs.


10. Manipulation

The last point here is a broad stroke generalization for all the gaslighting, excuse-making, and other such vapid waste that subs spew in their squabbles with an Alpha. This isn’t a relationship of peers. This isn’t a negotiation. This is kink, submission, and servitude to your Master. We have heard it all, and we see your pathetic tricks coming a mile away. Save it. 


Avoid these my sweet pets if you do not want to be a toxic sub to your Master.

Serve well, and to my Dominant readers, stay powerful gents. Comments and questions, as always, are welcome.

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