1. Read about the Alpha. Be acutely aware of how to stand out, and know Their turn-offs to the best of your ability.
2. Send Their minimum amount. Generally, at least 300-500 in tips. If you want to impress, send more. If they ask you to send again to prove yourself, or for whatever reason, do so promptly & passionately.
3. Make your first words your best, most selfless. Ask the Alpha how you can best serve them? Do not bring up your past, present, interests, or kinks. This is about Them: Their perfection, Their domination, Their pleasure. Please Them. They will know what to ask about you, when that information becomes relevant for them to know. A verified, experienced cashmaster knows how to explore a sub’s mind, and explore D/s better than you ever could, slave.
4. Wait patiently for Their response. Don’t panic. Don’t bombard Their inbox. Certainly don’t block Them in a worried frenzy. Simply breathe and know that you have followed Their approach instructions well, and They are busy draining other subs at the moment. They will reply to you, in time.
5. Possibly the most important: an initial tribute is not a transaction. There is nothing given in return. Have no expectations. The Alpha owes you less than nothing. The tribute is a gift for the privilege of being welcomed into the powerful realm of Their existence, which is itself the greatest privilege you could ask for.
Follow these instructions, and almost every Alpha will welcome you into their stable for the supreme opportunity to serve Them financially, and whatever other ways They may please.
Good luck, My sweet pets.
by DorianTheAlpha
Now, I will preface in saying this is My opinion, though one I know it is shared across hundreds of Superiors. That said, you may well find a Master that views s********n differently than I describe here. If so, I weep for you because you'll never know the bliss of true sacrifice to serve your Master's pleasure.
Let's begin by listing off the excuses so many pretenders enjoy bleating to Masters Who've heard these tired lines a thousand times before:
- i am student/jobless right now, but i can serve You in other ways.
- i want to send to You, but i need to trust You first.
- i might be open to sending, but financial domination is not My primrary kink.
- i was mistreated by a previous Alpha, i need to recover before i can worship You.
- i have no money to send, but i can be Your promo/task slave.
If this is you: you are the worst kind of wasted space in findom and kink as a whole. These aren't reasons; they're excuses. Do better. Redefine yourself to serve His pleasure first and solely.
There are countless others, equally transparent, equally boring, equally self-branding "block me: i'm a waste of time".
This article is meant as instruction, and as motivation. Like all habits, starting with a few easy steps will lead to undertaking the harder ones. In time, you can be the best slave you can be by incorporating all of these and more. Internalize the spirit of these habits to truly devote the entirety of yourself to your Master.
1. Work harder, smarter, longer.
Secure a raise or bonus? That portion goes to your Master. Great night of tips? Those are Alpha's. Win a payout, lottery, jackpot, raffle, contest? Guess whose: your Owner, silly pet. Get a second job, or third, gigging: Uber, tutoring. Suck cock if you can get paid for guzzling cum in your Master's name. Be creative, and proactive.
2. Cut back on luxuries and indulgences.
Don't buy meals out. Meal prep, and make that coffee/tea at home. Skip the steak, and eat chicken or beans. Fast intermittently if your health allows it. d***k less, or not at all. Only Alpha Men consume fine spirits; you get hooch if anything. Forget about tobacco, weed, parties: they are revelries for Superior Males. Designer labels, latest tech, new toys of any kind... these have no place in a cash slave's world.
3. Simplify your lifestyle.
Forget the Uber: walk, bike or commute. Don't bother with a flagship smartphone when a budget model will do. Take cold showers and reduce your heating/AC to send your Master those savings. Workout? Cancel that gym membership, and go train outside. Sell your appliances and wash your dishes and/or clothes by hand. Which leads Me too...
4. Sell your valuables.
Collectibles: magazines, comic books, video games, watches, vintage items, etc. Jewelry, needless gadgets, vehicles, sex toys (looking at you sissies). Anything you are guilty of from #2, sell — that's a simple starting point. What feels more right: you owning $1,000+ of superficial goods you could do without, or placing that cash into your Master's powerful hands, where it belongs?
I have likely missed ideas here. What matters is starting small, being accountable to improve through sacrifice, communicating your commitments to your Master, and most or all: sending as soon as you have cash to do so. The longer your Master's money stays with you, the lazier you are being, slave.
Read, act, send. Or pretend that you are already doing "enough" for your Alpha, as if that is even possible.
We always deserve more...
by DorianTheAlpha
There is a strange, skewed perspective of domination, in particular financial domination. Many slaves will approach to lead with their kinks. They will tell you all about what turns them on, what their hard limits are, their past injustices and why that makes them unable to trust the ever-perilous threat of Masters that mistreat them.
A common refrain is: "you want Me to send Sir? But W/we've barely spoken."
Now, I will always speak to curious souls. Some slaves are new. Some are unaware of how to approach. Some are just timid. But if after a short exchange, there's little sign they intend to tip, tribute, or otherwise strive to please Me, then I demand it. And generally, this is when the pretenders vanish. Every. Single. Time.
This post is for you, pretenders. The liars, the beggars, the toxic vile vermin that infect the purity of findom.
You do not get to own a Ferrari to pay for it when you like. You don't get to wear a Patek and send them a check when it suits you. You don't move into a seaside mansion and put off your mortgage indefinitely.
Serving an Alpha isn't just a luxury: it is the ultimate luxury. Financial s********n is a gift an Alpha gives you.
Sending Me the money that is rightfully Mine *is* your reward, slave.
So, let U/us here and now stamp out the fallacy that you deserve attention from a Superior Male because of any of the following:
- Uncertainty or curiosity
- Insecurity or past wounds
- Prior mistreatment
- Lack of finances / having being ruined
- Lack of interest in findom
- Servitude to another Master
- The list goes on...
As a slave, you are responsible to educate yourself about findom.
As a slave, you are expected to be able to serve financially, unless your Master explicitly states otherwise.
As a slave, you are required to please your Master first and foremost, however He chooses.
As a slave, you are accountable to understand that your Master allows you the blissful gift of His existence.
As a slave, you are indebted to your Alpha merely by the virtue of serving him. Tribute merits nothing.
As a slave, you are property. It is your choice to be a slave; and it is your purpose as such to be His property.
Understand the choices you make, and adhere to your commitments. Both you and He are allowed your limits. Findom is a choice. When you make it, do not flake and do not flounder. Follow through.
Let us end on a constructive note: follow these guidelines to please your Alpha, and live truthfully in s********n.
1. Do not say that you will send. Send, and then say that you have. Act first, then speak.
2. Do not approach an Alpha leading with your interests. He is above you. Pleasing him is all that matters. Do so, and maybe he will reward you by considering your own interests. That is the true nature of s********n to Another.
3. Do not victimize yourself. There will always be those who hold exception with this post. Slaves here have done so to My words in the past. This is not ironclad; it is a guide. Follow it, or ignore it and resign yourself to the sad lie that you are actually a "slave" — you are the opposite.
I recognize part of this post are strongly worded. Findom is a place of strong words, and emotions. If you are offended by this, you are likely guilty of what it puts forth. If You are nodding along, you likely know what I'm talking about, and have suffered through your fair share of vermin too.
Be better, for Him.
For Me.
by DorianTheAlpha
Particularly here on OwnedFags.com, as the website name shows, degradation & humiliation are wanton and welcome. They are arguably an integral part of what makes this extremely kinky space what it is. Many here push the bounds of physical, psychological, and sexual a***e in a beautifully consensual way. It brings out the best in the most dominant Alphas and the most submissive betas. It can also create contention.
There is something lost when D/s becomes an exercise in vanity. This is not to disparage leather fetishes, toy play, or any other kink that uses superficial means. Rather, something often missed here is the human element of domination and s********n. Connecting with A/another, and allowing that person to see a side of Y/you that many of U/us shield from everyday life.
I say this first and foremost because My preferred approach to domination is notably softer than many here. Again, I have nothing but admiration & respect for Those who take what is Theirs with a firmer hand. They are among the top Earners & senders here. Rather, I say this so that if a shy and nervous beta reads this, they can see that s********n comes in many forms. I accept a sub that begs Me to insult them, use slurs, a***e them and objectify them. I also cherish in the same way one who wants to serve devoid of humiliation — where the purity of sacrifice is their foremost kink, and desire. Please Me selflessly, and I will always accept you.
For both, and any form of submissive urge, compassion is My priority. There are many kinks I did not know I loved to indulge, that I now suggest to other betas as points of exploration & discovery. I do not aim to have any own "style". I know this to be true of most of the best Alphas here. They are open to their pets' interests, kinks, and respectful of their limits. Within them, I will use My compassion constructively to help you be the best submissive you can be, and to serve My pleasure as truthfully as you can, and I deserve.
In that, as a conclusion of sorts, I will say: forms of servitude that truly put your Alpha first are acceptable, and beautiful. Do not conflate this with topping from the bottom, being manipulative, proffering excuses or otherwise wasting My time. However, true submissive sacrifice, in tribute and all forms of s********n — I will always accept.
I say this too, without sounding sanctimonious, that W/we can better accept each other. At times Alphas and subs don't align, or even within our respective P/peer groups, W/we disagree. When W/we learn to accept that, and E/each other, this space — in its most depraved and at its purest — thrives.
Cheers to all, and thanks for reading.
I have an older post that delves into this in greater detail. Consider this a pocket version.
When you are first approaching an Alpha you want to serve:
1. Send before speaking. Even if only 50 tips. A gesture to prove you're serious, and selfless.
2. Know your Master. Likes, dislikes, style of domination, expectations.
3. Speak clearly, and learn quickly. Always over-communicate unless He says otherwise.
4. Set your limits with Him, and respect His. Within that, obey. Always.
5. Be proactive & creative. Plan, save, earn, send more and please Him however you can.
--
The full version explores these and more in greater detail, but follow these five steps and thrive for your Master.
by DorianTheAlpha
Newcomers and seasoned subs alike... every pet makes mistakes.
It might be a simple slip-up, or a catastrophic failure.
The next time you misstep in your s********n to an Alpha,
follow these steps to find your way back into their best graces.
How to apologize in findom:
1. Send.
2. Admit your mistake, earnestly.
3. Correct the problem to avoid recurrence.
4. If forgiven, thank your Master profusely.
If that doesn't work, repeat. Chances are you didn't do step 1 quite enough.
Best of luck My little pets.
My blogs are typically about s********n. How to serve better etc.
This one is specifically for Masters new to the site. Read up & enjoy.
Feel free to DM if anything below is unclear.
1. Read the rules.
Read the website rules. Read about kink, about D/s ownership.
Read up on findom.
If you're going to try a new kink a sub proposes. Study it. Ask other Alphas.
Everyone starts somewhere. You are given the power to govern a slave's body, mind, and wallet.
Wield that power responsibly, within the guidelines set for this community.
The only tribute allowed here are those sent with OwnedFags tips. No other tribute methods allowed. Period.
2. It takes longer than you realize.
For every useful sub, there are 20 timewasting pretenders.
For every lasting sub, it takes 20 who are fleetingly useful.
So if you're a math guy: that's roughly a 0.25% ownership rate on every sub interaction you have.
Lots of empty-handed, empty-headed strokers. The truly servile sluts are few & far between.
3. Don't do it for the money.
Ultimately, no one is here for the money (or shouldn't be). It's a fun byproduct of a kink: findom.
Findom is about power exchange through currency transfer. Much like bondage is through mobility transfer.
It's just another vector for a submissive to surrender to its Dominant, whether in session or lasting servitude.
If you need money, get a job or sell items. Desperate Alphas are always see-through, and fail. Just truth.
4. Build relationships with other Alphas.
Focus on the other Dominants here. Chat with them. Learn without being clingy about it.
Some, like myself, occasionally whore out their owned fags.
Especially at first, do not DM any slave here that has a lock; that is officially owned. Never.
If that slave reaches out, message the Alpha first.
Once you create a rapport with the Alpha, learn which owned sluts are allowed to & choose to chat, then do so.
Ultimately, conduct yourself so that you are earning the respect of your Alpha peers first and foremost. Always.
5. Find your style.
Emulation is natural. As with any craft, there will be those you look up to.
Take care not to let emulation become imitation. No one likes a copycat.
Find your original voice within the aspects of others you admire.
Ultimately, the most successful Alphas here are such because they are true to themselves.
For instance, I'm a soft-spoken Master. At times, I get harsh, but it's not My innate voice.
I know that, and I stick to it. Others do the opposite. It's about range & authenticity.
6. Build your brand.
A fair bit of domination is marketing. Content is king, engagement is queen, context is god.
Post as often as you can (without spamming). Find a cadence that works.
Few subs are attracted to empty profiles. Post pics. Make vids. Write blogs. Chat publicly.
Engage with others' posts and content, esp Alphas. Care about this community; not just yourself.
7. Set limits, and respect others’.
Not every sub will be a match with you. Maybe you hate piss play; piss pigs won't align with your style.
Maybe you want to solely focus on findom. Maybe findom is secondary to you.
Many subs focus on real-time meets, and even within that types of meets (eg dungeon play).
Be clear about your desires, your dislikes, and focus on those with whom your dynamic could line up.
8. Recognize the toll this takes.
Drop is real. The defeat, deflation, or other such blues felt in kink.
It can be sub drop following a heavy drain or kink session.
it can be Alpha drop after 15 timewasters exhaust you mentally.
Maybe your personal life is impacting your motivation to dominate, or create content.
Be mindful of the weight of your work here.
Yes, dominance is effortless.
But domination is hard work. And acknowledging that is crucial to lasting success.
Take days off. Communicate them to your slaves. The real ones will understand.
Likewise, sometimes subs need to step away. Not all Alphas accept that, but it is equally normal.
9. It isn't a competition.
It's easy to get caught up in the points. The Pantheon & slave market positions.
I've been guilty of it, as I'm sure many others are.
Domination (and s********n) are about the intimacy & thrill of power exchange.
Owning a fag is about fulfilling Your Alpha desires together, through their sacrifice & your domination.
Each dynamic is unique. It's own singular bond. No two subs should compete, even serving the same Master.
And no two Masters should compete, because I'll never be Garboss, SkinbossDan, or Fidelio.
They have their styles, their successes, their subs. I have Mine. That's a great thing.
It's the range of kink, and domination.
10. Have fun with it.
I've learned so much about myself through domination.
How sadistic I can be. How compassionate I am.
If you aren't here to enjoy yourself, and create enjoyment for others (even with pain or struggle)
Then you're likely here for the wrong reasons.
Consider this an extensions of "don't do it for the money".
Cheers.
10 Things Specific to Online Financial Domination
by DorianTheAlpha
#1 - Discipline
No, not the kinky kind. I’m talking about self-discipline. It’s easy to be motivated at the start, or after a heavy drain, maybe you’ve just owned a new fag or two. Not everyday will be motivating. Some days this might even feel like work, down right discouraging. Discipline is what separates the flashes in the pan from the those who stand the test of time (this is true for Dominants and submissives).
#2 - Communication
Online domination is noisy. Very noisy. Being a strong communicator is a key part of succeeding here, but that doesn’t mean being everywhere all the time. Be thoughtful about where you want to focus your own energy, and in those places: be responsive. With your fellow Alphas, with owned fags, with loyal sluts: make time and be thoughtful in your replies. A stale dynamic rarely lasts long. M/s is above all a relationship.
#3 - Decisions
I wrote this point specifically for Alphas new to online scenes. Timewasting: when a sub seeks free attention without any intention to serve you. The more I consider the idea, the more I realize it presumes an Alpha does not choose how to spend that time. When you indulge a timewaster, you the Alpha spend that time wastefully. It’s important to get to know potential servants. See: communication. Decide with intention, and stand firm by your choices while also…
#4 - Learning
Ultimately, the decisions you make are based on judgment. I’ve made decisions I later changed (past blogs, notably). There is a difference between flip-flopping a choice, and growing as a Dominant. No one is above improvement, and yes even as Alphas we can and are sometimes wrong. Whether it’s a fellow Master, a seasoned sub, or a brilliantly written borderline Nobel-prize-winning calibre blog — there’s always more to learn.
#5 - Responsibility & Ethics
I often hear from Alphas that it’s the sub’s responsibility not to self-destruct. And this is true. Ultimately, kinks like findom are power exchange between two consenting adults. That said, the best dynamics here exist because the Master & slave trust each other, deeply. Be responsible with your subs. Be ethical in your domination. Now, you can still leave a bitch battered, bruised, mouth full of ash, piss, spit, and weeping in a way that they fully consent to & even thank you for while begging for more. Intensity & extremes can and should still be responsibly, ethically carried out.
#6 - Community
Is the cash fun? Obviously. Do you know what’s more fun? The people that make this place great.
It’s called power exchange, not tips exchange. If you *need* the money, then you’re starting this for the wrong reasons (that’s just My perspective). If you’re only interested in heartless cash grabbing, you’re going to grow bored quick regardless of your success. Community is what makes OF, more than anything else.
#7 - Respect
Rule 1 - don’t be a dick. And it is rule #1 for a reason. That goes for Masters to Masters, Masters to fags, and fags to fags (obviously most of all fags to Masters). There’s plenty of Alphas here who use a sharp, punitive tone, while also doing so respectfully. Respect doesn’t have to be soft, or cuddly. I don’t agree with all of you. I don’t even like some of you. But being a toxic twat is a surefire way to alienate yourself or worse get banned from the site. Be better. Respect everyone.
#8 - Start
Unsure whether you’ve got what it takes to dominate online? Try it. Do it. Open your account. Verify, read the rules, and dive right in. Worried messaging subs will make you seem weak? Write them. Send PMs. Test what works best. You can only get better. This is the cliché classic “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. It’s especially true of the online space where you’re just an avatar and a handle until you make yourself more than that. So make yourself more than that.
#9 - Stop
I don’t know who told you to start but that was a horrible idea. Stupid.
I joke, but the notion that you need to be always-on and constantly grinding will burn out the best of us. Taking breaks matters. Prioritizing your health & wellness matters. Remember that there’s more to life than the next tip notification or Pantheon climb. Stop and smell the roses. Call your grandma. Read a book. There will be subs & sending aplenty when you return. This message was brought to you by someone who is constantly failing at this particular point and in general maintaining work/life/kink balance.
#10 - Give Back
Donate to the site. There’s no elaboration here. The man’s growing a moustache for a good cause. If you haven’t put up for it: donate. Men’s health is no joke and last I checked we all had a cock between our legs.
Don’t forget to like & subscribe. New merch available soon. (This is a joke)
10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub
by DorianTheAlpha
It has been a long time since I’ve written a blog post. I try not to retread the same old thoughts I have covered before here; I invite you to read my other entries on topics like tips for newcomer subs, newcomer Masters, among other themes in kink. Today we will address something unfortunately ever-present in power exchange: submissive toxicity.
Now, let me say at the outset: this does not suggest Masters are not also at fault sometimes. It is possible for Doms to be toxic too. That is a post for another day. Here, I address common behaviours that all subs show at some point — these are signs you are being toxic. A good sub can have a toxic moment. Even the best owned subs slip up. It does not mean you cannot improve. Instead, use this as a reminder to be better. Grow & learn constantly to serve your Master as best you can. These are in no particular order, though personally I would say those highest on the list are the most egregious.
1. Doxxing & Hostility
To dox someone is to reveal their real identity online. If you even feel the hint of an urge to do this: don’t. Never threaten violence, or be hostile. If you feel that level of anger & aggression do to some slight in kink or your dynamic: walk away. This space is not for you if you cannot handle its intensity. Many people here keep their kink lives separate & secret from their career, family, and personal sphere. Any kind of hostile act towards your Dom, any Alpha, or any member of this community is unacceptable. This one should be self-evident.
2. Illegality
Many illegal actions are desirable. Substances, sex acts, even demographics. Regardless, never suggest or bring illegal activities to your Alpha. For some, sex work is their full-time career. For others like myself, this is a supplementary outlet to express my dominant self. When you suggest illegal things, you jeopardize that space. Deviant fun can be legal and still be plenty daring.
3. Topping from the Bottom
This is when a sub attempts to exert their desires and demands onto their Dominant. It reverses the power exchange: the Master is instead performing a “dominance fantasy” according to the conditions of their submissive role-play leader. Hence, topping from the bottom. This is the worst form of selfishness. Now, you can have submissive desires. And especially with single session play, it is important to voice them to your Dominant. However, in power exchange, your role is to please your Alpha first and foremost. If you have desires, there is a correct way to communicate them. That is not topping from the bottom. So speak properly, humbly, and when in doubt defer to your Master. Don’t be a selfish twat.
4. Inability to Handle Drop
This is most applicable to financial domination, but applies to other intense forms of session play like pain certain sex play. Drop, or sub drop, is a form of guilt and regret that can be all-consuming after intense sessions. In the throes of submissive obedience, you may send more or suffer more than you expected. Some of your limits may be tested. This leads to a lurching depression for many who are new to the feeling. It is your responsibility to manage it. Many Alphas offer guidance, aftercare, and compassion. Some do not. It is not our job to be your therapist. I personally tend to do so, but it is wrong to expect it from your Dominant. This is an adult space, between consenting parties. Behave as such.
5. Jealousy
If I need to explain this one at length, you are the problem. Do not be jealous another sub is sending more, receiving more time with your Alpha, getting more attention in the chat. This is about Alpha pleasure. If you are envious of others, work harder & serve better to achieve those same goals. Better yet, find the maturity to realize that you should only measure yourself against your own servitude.
6. Submissive Poaching
This is a rare case, but does sometimes happen. Never poach other owned subs from another Master to come and serve your Alpha. This is the equivalent of an Alpha poaching a sub; it is no better and just as atrocious. If a sub is unhappy, that is between them and their Master to resolve. An owned dynamic (as defined on the site; not “grey/open” dynamics etc) should always be treated with utmost sanctity and respect. Even between owned subs.
7. Nuisance
Owned or new, don’t be a dick (or a little s**t). There is a reason this is one of the tenets of the chat room, and it extends to private conversation. Don’t play dumb. Don’t be a brat, or rude. Many Masters will converse and dominate subs who have little to send, but speak soundly and offer entertaining banter. Don’t be a nuisance.
8. Over-investing
This is a two-parter, and both matter equally. Do not invest more financially here than you can afford. Doing so is on you if it happens. Never blame your Alpha for your own lack of self-control. Secondly, do not over-invest emotionally. Some Masters dominate with sexual overlap, and sometimes even romantic overlap. This is still kink in power exchange. Don’t let your M/s get messy. Don’t over-invest.
9. Deletion & Relapse
This isn’t even necessarily that annoying, it is just so predictable. Subs who can’t manage the above, generally are those who delete, and come back crawling under some new pseudonym. The relapsers. I suppose it helps that you pay a join fee each time you create an account here. Still, it’s transparent, and laughable. Best avoided if you hope to be a sub in good standing here among Alphas and your fellow subs.
10. Manipulation
The last point here is a broad stroke generalization for all the gaslighting, excuse-making, and other such vapid waste that subs spew in their squabbles with an Alpha. This isn’t a relationship of peers. This isn’t a negotiation. This is kink, s********n, and servitude to your Master. We have heard it all, and we see your pathetic tricks coming a mile away. Save it.
Avoid these my sweet pets if you do not want to be a toxic sub to your Master.
Serve well, and to my Dominant readers, stay powerful gents. Comments and questions, as always, are welcome.
10 Signs You Are A Toxic Dom
by DorianTheAlpha
I just wrote one of these about toxic subs. I often hear from subs that it is a tricky thing to criticize those on the dominant half of this community. All too often, those comments are dismissed or even derided, because they are just "slaves", and should shut their trap. So, to that end, as an olive branch of sorts, I've considered some things I have seen firsthand from the worst among Alphas both here and elsewhere in financial domination and kink. If you are regularly guilty of these, you are a toxic Dom. I have done more than one of these, and more than once. I have certainly had my toxic moments, especially early on while cocky and still learning the ropes. Recognize your faults and your failures, and use this as a guide to not only be better as a Master to your submissives, but as a member of this community.
1. Doxxing & Hostility
This one is the same; it cuts both ways. No Dominant entrusted with their sub’s information should ever reveal those details, or act negligently with it. True b*******l is a crime (extortion). The idea of ruin/homewrecking fantasies is acceptable when practiced responsibly and consensually, but all too often that kink is done wrong, and puts real lives in harm’s way. If you cannot dominate responsibly and without hostility, then leave. That isn’t power, that’s pathetic. There is no place for that here on this site or anywhere in findom & kink communities.
2. Poaching
Don’t poach subs. Just don’t. It is natural for some subs to want a new Master over time, discover a better fit, etc. These are all relationships at the end of the day. The line can sometimes be blurred, I will admit. But poaching is poaching. And you know when you are doing it. I’ll define it here for those still unclear: do not ever attempt to seek tribute, s********n, or other such favours from an owned sub (as defined on this site by a lock symbol with a Master’s stable to its name). Always speak with that Master first and get their explicit permission if you sense a supplemental fit with a sub, which happens plenty often. Co-ownerships, loan dynamics, and session play are all healthy parts of an owned sub’s fluid servitude with their Master’s approval. Keywords: with their Master’s approval.
3. Disrespect
I’ve been guilty of this one. We all have tempers. Some more than others. There are those here who despise me (and I can be a bit much at times). Regardless: treat your fellow Alphas with respect. Treat subs, within the framework of kinky banter and bdsm, with basic human decency when it matters. Disrespect sucks the fun out of this community, and at the end of the day that is what this is: a community.
4. lllegality
Again, this cuts both ways as with subs: do not suggest illegal acts or substances with your slaves, ever. Especially do not do so on this website, where MOA works so hard to create a safe playground for our collective deviance. People can lose their jobs, their families, their lives. It sounds extreme, but those who have been around long enough know that sadly it happens to even the most experienced among us when things get out of hand, even for only a moment. That’s all it takes. Keep it legal, at all times.
5. Rejection
Much of domination is tied to one’s ego. Success feeds into it. Tribute and luxury lead to the expectation of a certain lifestyle. The comforts in having servants for your every whim & desire is a treat. However, if/when subs decide to leave: that is normal. Most dynamics do not last forever. Most dynamics are single sessions, or short bouts of servitude. A seldom few last longer, for months or years. Learn to handle rejection. Better yet, embrace it, even if that means accepting you don’t cater to everyone. I am the farthest thing from a skinboss, or a gay sex-driven Alpha. I provide an allure to those who want the Master that I am, and the domination that I offer. Simple: subs can say “no”. Deal with it.
6. Burnout
This might not fit the strictest definition of toxicity, but exhausted Masters tend to be the most impatient, sloppy with their approach, and quick to frustration with their subs. Know yourself, and know when it’s time to take a step back, to rest up. Everyone has their off days. Avoid burnout. We are at our best with all things in balance.
7. Pandering
This, while rare, is the bane of so many Masters’ existence: do not pander to toxic subs. When you indulge topping from the bottom (see my previous post on toxic subs if unclear here), you exacerbate the issue. Whiny twats ought to be disposed for the whiny twats that they are. Nothing more. Deep pockets cause Alphas to abandon their principles for a quick cash grab. Don’t. This is supposed to be fun, kink-driven power exchange. Some might disagree here; say it’s all about the money, no matter what. I say, “it matters what”. And the money is often what makes this fun, when done right. But lowering yourself to a sub’s every whim is not financial domination, and it is the farthest thing from dominant. If anything, it’s supplicant.
8. Sanctimony
The irony of this point following the last is not lost on me. All the same, don’t be a sanctimonious prick. We all generally agree how power exchange & financial domination happens. Some don’t. Some differ on the little things. Just because you see a dynamic occurring in a way distinct from your view of correct etiquette or approach, does not make you the grand arbiter of kink. And if you still feel compelled to comment, then do so kindly & constructively. No one likes a self-righteous absolutist. The range of perspectives & practices is part of why this place is so great. Let’s keep it that way.
9. Maturity
There is a reason that “ch-ild” is a banned word here. Don’t be one. This builds upon the notion of being able to handle submissive rejection; you will have plenty of conflict and friction in practicing all types of domination. Those who have succeeded here longest & most triumphantly continue to do so because they know who they are, they conduct themselves accordingly, and with utmost maturity. Conversely, the worst subs and least admired Doms often earn that reputation quickly because they stir up trouble and are among the least mature here.
10. Patience
This one is two-fold, and many may not agree with my second point here, but I suppose that is why blog’s are fun. Feel free to comment, especially if you disagree. Patience is key for all Masters, but especially Alphas new to the game. Have patience with your domination. Be patient with finding your tone, your brand, your following. Take it all as it comes, and learn from it. It’s easy to think you know it all on day one, or that you will skyrocket to the top. I’ve covered tips for new Masters in another post.
That said, there is a patience specific to new subs that matters for this community. Now, it is hard to tell when a sub is genuinely new (and not some relapsing worm). And some Masters still don’t care, which is normal and acceptable. Some Masters do not accept conversation prior to a show of resolve (usually tribute). I’d humbly argue that, to an extent, productive introductory conversation is part of what makes findom thrive at its best. So, if you so choose, have patience as a Dom. More often than not, when you learn to judge sub’s with some intuition, it pays off. Literally.
As always, I hope to see your comments and reactions below. To my dominant readers, stay powerful gents.
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