And that's fair enough but this time of year in particular can be a very dark and lonely time for people and we need to remember that what we see online is just a persona a smokescreen an individual is behind.
For some it is an escape from stress and a chance to unwind for others it can be a coping mechanism the only way they can find to deal with a real world issue be it a physical issue or something which men in general are famous for not talking about, something in their mental health not being okay.
I know from personal experience how dark this time of year can be. 3 years ago today I received a phone call at work. A phone call NO ONE ever wants to get. To make it worse the Hospital it came from was in a different country to myself. My younger brother had, had a heart attack that morning and had been rushed into Intensive Care but he wasn't going to make it. Even with last minute travel it would still take me 12 hours to get to him I was still 1 hour away when I got the call to say not even the machines had managed to keep him alive.
While this time of year is full of joy spare a moment or two to check in on each other, remember that behind the smoke and mirrors we are all human and can be going through terrible things some quite literally world shattering others not as bad but to the individual can feel just as bad in that moment.
Not everyone is good at reading between the lines and in a community such as this where things can become very intense or even intimate it is even more important that we remember to watch out for each others mental health. A loyal friend suddenly acting out of character can often be a major clue that something is wrong but some people are better at hiding things than others
So forget the nonsense of 'Real men don't cry', ' Emotions make you weak' etc etc and check in on your friends both Sub and Dom over this festive period who knows they may just be needing someone to let them know it's okay to open up and talk about things. After all the loneliest place in the world can be in the middle of a crowd
There was this kid I met through a findom website. I say 'kid' but he was in his mid-20s and had served two tours of duty in the US Army. He was a good kid -- but life had dealt him quite a few tough hands. We chatted a bit and had a bit of a dynamic going on -- but nothing serious.
One day we were chatting and came up with a new proposal. I would take oversight of his finances, and use that to control him. It was a fun prospect. He found a website that could link to all his bank/credit/savings accounts and give a dashboard overview of all his spending and balances. It was a 'read only' view: he could give me the password without allowing me to spend his money.
Quickly it became clear that his spending was chaotic. He was a student and living quite modestly, but had no concept of controlling his spending, or making a budget. So we went through and created a budget, designed to deliver a small surplus at the end of each month. The deal would be that half of the surplus was due to be handed over to me, and the other half would go to his savings.
And so, day by day, week by week, I kept oversight of his spending, and made sure he stuck to the budget. Spending that was out of line incurred a penalty -- an extra amount to be added to the amount owed to me. When he broke down and paid other FinDoms, the penalty was that he had to add twice as much to his debt to me. With regular contact, this started to fuck with his head. Every frivolous expenditure made him feel like he was robbing me, because it reduced the monthly surplus. He learned to visualise me every time he used his debit card. He remarked on how invasive and taboo it was to have someone else looking at the intimate details of his bank account. It was a very intense relationship for a while --- even though we only met once in this period (living on different continents).
The process worked, and he quickly understood how to set a budget, and how to keep to it. I had no intention of actually taking a pay-out: he was living far too close to the edge for me to think that ethical. But he believed that I would. And that was enough.
After about six months, the arrangement came to a natural end with a change of circumstances. His debt to me was quite significant. At that point he figured out --- maybe he figured it out earlier --- that I wasn't going to collect there and then. But the deal is that someday when he's a bit richer, he owes me a pair of Wesco boots.
The kid turned his finances around and now understands how to budget. He even plays it forward and dominates other subs --- though I think he takes their money. It was an intense, horny, satisfying experience with real power exchange, without any money changing hands. Findom comes in many flavours.
But what about interaction at a distance?
I mention this because I was in touch with an inexperienced fag yesterday who said he got locked in chastity shortly before the covid lockdown, and was then stuck in the cage because he couldn't meet his KH. Now, that's quite funny if you're into chastity, but at some point the fag says he really wanted out. He says the KH refused to send the key in the post. At that point, you start to think that's eventually rather shitty behaviour. In fact, if the sub truly wants out, and is not given a way out, that's a***e. [Let's overlook the question of whether a ball-trap device can really be that perfect; we can also discount the "what if the key got lost in the post" excuse, since every lock always has more than one key. As for me, I'd always insist on the fag having access to an emergency key.]
It strikes me that people seldom have a safe word for cyber/online D/s. But wouldn't that be a good idea? So you can distinguish between the "I hate being locked" moaning and the actual withdrawal of consent. It might make interacting all the more horny if there is some pleading and moaning --- while you know that the fag is laying it on thick and isn't actually at the point of wanting out for real.
Does this also carry over to findom, and anything that's all in the mind? The sub who wants out can, of course, just stop responding/block/run away. But mindfuckery doesn't really work that way does it? Or, not for everyone: so you get the phenomenon of fags crawling back for more. To give them an 'out' requires the Master to work out if they're genuinely needing to be cut loose, or of they just need encouragement. I don't know if safewords would help here. I need to think more about this.
As Doms will be able to send Tips to subs, the subs could then send these Tips back to the Dom.
Under the current way of calculating points this would increase the number of points the Dom has, this cycle of swapping Tips could then be repeated to artificially inflate a Doms points.
The system will be changed so that instead of calculating how many Tips a Dom has received within a period it will calculate points based on the number of Tips actually withdrawn from the site. This will prevent artificial inflating.
It also keeps the calculations for subs and Doms simple - subs get points for purchasing Tips, Doms get points for withdrawing them.
The ability to send Tips to any user and the change to points calculation should go live tomorrow, I will make an announcement on the site when it is live.
MoA
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt an innate need to serve. Findom, for me, is not an addiction or something to be ashamed of, but a part of my personality. It hasn’t always felt like that but I’m starting to learn, with SimX’s help, that this is who I am.
The best thing I can do is to direct my service towards an Alpha who truly deserves it. I’ve been a bit slutty for the last few months, and while I served some great Doms in that time, there were none that I wanted to develop a findom relationship with. Until I met SimX.
Almost immediately, I knew he was different. I appreciate his focus on tasks, service and sacrifice rather than purely being focussed on financial gain. I most definitely am a wallet for his use, but also way more than that too. He always has many different ways for me to be useful which, given my need to serve, greatly enriches us both.
He also understands the Dom and sub role to a far greater extent than anyone else I’ve ever spoke to about it. I’ve learnt so much about myself, and continue to learn every day. And SimX has very generously shared details and insights about himself to me too.
No matter how much I serve him, send him, sacrifice for him and work for him, SimX will always be giving me considerably more in return. A few quid for my entire identity. Thank you, Boss, for the opportunity to serve in your stable. It is still very early days, but I look forward to discovering what the future holds together.
To subs reading this, have you ever felt at times you were in another world while in a submissive state? Do you make decisions you normally wouldn’t make as you’re being dominated/fucked over? Did you spend more then you intended to, did you give out sensitive information, or perhaps did you let a man black out your computer screen because you “weren’t thinking clearly?” This is totally normal because financial domination is a form of BDSM as subs do other “abnormal” things with non findom BDSM. The correct term for this state of mind is “Subspace.” The ability to reach TRUE subspace is not the same thing as sniffing and sending.
When the average person thinks of Bondage of any kind the first thing that comes to mind is blind folds, leather, whips, chains, paddles, and rope. The power transfer of your life source coming from your wallet is a MENTAL form of bondage rather then physical. Subspace to many feels like you are almost hypnotized. Some say they feel like they are in a trance after staring at a pendulum. Many have a hard time reaching subspace when they crave to submit, which is where things like poppers or other d***s come into play. A truly skilled dominant can push a submissive into subspace without any substance if he or she knows what they are doing. With Findom, I sometimes like to mix physical BDSM with Findom rather then alone. For example torturing their balls, twisting their nipples, a spiked chastity device, or whatever comes to my mind. In BDSM its easier to get into someone's mind into subspace when mixing pain and pleasure.
When you mix pain and pleasure, your adrenal glands naturally release something called epinephrine (a hormone and neurotransmitter) as your brain releases endorphins from the pleasure you are feeling. During intense stress (doesn’t have to be bad stress) and high tension your adrenals can also release something called enkephalins, and enkephalins are very important to understand among these other natural brain chemicals. Enkephalins bind/attach to your opioid receptors during pain as an automatic response as a natural pain killer. Despite feeling some pain or being reminded of mental anguish as you’re being manipulated, your brain will release endorphins as you are “getting off” on losing control or being humiliated. And SOMETIMES if you know the submissive well enough, you can get their brain to release enkephalins without physical pain but it’s not that easy. In findom its much harder to activate opioid receptors naturally as the bondage is more mental. This is why i**********n comes into play and can be useful. Intense fear from things like dangerous thrills, b*******l, or info extraction can certainly trigger enkephalins to be released as an automatic response. A skilled dominant will be able to travel through someone’s mind like a long corridor and knowing which doors to enter. Many of my slaves are curious as to some of the questions I ask them, and each time I reassure them I have a reason for everything. :-)
When You combine enkephalins, endorphins, and epinephrine the chemical combination creates a mild MDA or Morphine like effect. This is why pain can go away during the state of subspace. I’ve had old ancient slaves with spinal issues crawl on the floor feeling nothing at all as I manipulate their thinking as they are under my “spell.” Those opioid receptors combined with the rush of endorphins is literally like you just took a narcotic. And these brain chemicals create a unique effect, as its not just them all being present at once. The temporary altered brain chemistry can truly render one’s logic completely out the door! Subspace for some is like Heroin for the mind.. as many of the problems that bother you go away for a short while, nothing else matters but where your mind is focused in the world of subspace. When you feel that “urge” to get fucked over you remember those pleasurable feelings at times when you are feeling bored or at an emotional low. Subspace becomes a coping mechanism that you become hooked on, like staring at a book and hearing nothing as others call your name.
Like a young one walking near the top of the stairs, they aren’t aware they can be hurt themselves if they fall. In subspace, a sub trusting a “non compassionate” dominant may be hurt beyond the realms of what they intended to happen let alone their limits. It’s up to the responsibility of the dominant to check in on a human level if he/she feels that the session/playtime will harm the individual. Its also wise to check in on how your sub is feeling not just for moral reasons, but for the sake of long term dynamics. For example, if the submissive loses control and starts acting out on serious actions that could be detrimental in anyway, the dominant can expect a looming “Drop” when subspace has ended. A skilled master who knows what their doing does their best to make sure Drops don’t happen. And remember, A happy slave is a loyal slave.
This diaper faggot believes sacrifice and suffering is required, even if a Master is not directly involved. Today it discovered a great way to enforce its suffering by putting together a few different applications. As a diaper faggot, it wants to be treated as an adult-boy - treated as a diapered 13 year old, though also an adult. Essentially, whichever age results in a worse outcome for it should be the result. Punishment generally occurs as an adult, but c******n have more restrictions, like bedtime and especially parental controls. Boys should not have unfettered access to a computer or the internet - adult websites should be blocked, and computer usage limited in time, which parental control software performs.
Its an amazing feeling seeing the popup that it only has 5 more minutes, or that a website is blocked, knowing that its only reason is to make it sacrifice. It doesn't benefit anyone, but the faggot has to stop whatever it was doing, even though there may be hours left in the day. Since it likely has admin rights or the admin password to its computer, it is too easy to uninstall the software at that moment, allowing it to continue using the computer, but depriving it of the sacrifice it needs to be fulfilled.
Today it installed Qustodio, which very effectively blocks sites based on rules, as well as applications. To take care of the admin problem, it created a c***d account without admin rights, and used a random password generator to create a long password it couldn't remember. After appropriately locking down Qustodio - it went with full block on all sites, except writeforme.org, a line typing site online Masters use to waste its time with menial task, often for hours. It sucks for the faggot, but thats what it is supposed to do, while Master gets pleasure knowing He made it suffer without any effort.
Using the password above, it copied it to change both the admin password and the Qustodio password, and the password itself is uploaded to emlalock.com, commonly used as a keyholding service for chastity. After deleting the password locally and starting the emlalock timer, it no longer controls the computer until the timer expires and it can recover the password. Only the locked down c***d account is usable, with the highly restrictive rules. It tries launching a browser, but all sites are blocked - except for
writeforme.org. Its self-imposed restrictions worked, and it cant do anything, other than type. It set itself up for 2 hours of typing and started, eagerly hitting the first key as if this would be fun.
Needless to say, the typing was long, boring, and tedious. For 2 hours it typed, unable to take a break for more than 10 seconds or additional lines would be added. Mistakes added lines, and incurred a financial penalty that encouraged it to go slower and waste more time. In the end, it paid Master $40 for mistakes and thanking Him for the drudgery. It questioned why it would pay to do tedious labor; why would it rush to type lines for hours; and why would it want to be locked down with parental control. But as faggot do, after a short break, all it could hope for was to do it again - sacrifice and suffering is the faggots goal.
A Master exploits you because you are a disappointing, worthless Slave who must prove himself.
A Master knows the power they have over you, their foot on your chest, their hand in your wallet. You are not worthy of the power Master exerts on you.
You must be thankful.
You must appreciate your Sir.
Your Master humiliates you because he cares.
Owned Fags is a male only site which deals with adult themes
You should only view this site if you are over the age of 18, male and are not easily offended.
