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10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub
Posted by DorianTheAlpha

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Sub

by DorianTheAlpha

It has been a long time since I’ve written a blog post. I try not to retread the same old thoughts I have covered before here; I invite you to read my other entries on topics like tips for newcomer subs, newcomer Masters, among other themes in kink. Today we will address something unfortunately ever-present in power exchange: submissive toxicity. 

Now, let me say at the outset: this does not suggest Masters are not also at fault sometimes. It is possible for Doms to be toxic too. That is a post for another day. Here, I address common behaviours that all subs show at some point — these are signs you are being toxic. A good sub can have a toxic moment. Even the best owned subs slip up. It does not mean you cannot improve. Instead, use this as a reminder to be better. Grow & learn constantly to serve your Master as best you can. These are in no particular order, though personally I would say those highest on the list are the most egregious.

1. Doxxing & Hostility

To dox someone is to reveal their real identity online. If you even feel the hint of an urge to do this: don’t. Never threaten violence, or be hostile. If you feel that level of anger & aggression do to some slight in kink or your dynamic: walk away. This space is not for you if you cannot handle its intensity. Many people here keep their kink lives separate & secret from their career, family, and personal sphere. Any kind of hostile act towards your Dom, any Alpha, or any member of this community is unacceptable. This one should be self-evident.

2. Illegality

Many illegal actions are desirable. Substances, sex acts, even demographics. Regardless, never suggest or bring illegal activities to your Alpha. For some, sex work is their full-time career. For others like myself, this is a supplementary outlet to express my dominant self. When you suggest illegal things, you jeopardize that space. Deviant fun can be legal and still be plenty daring. 

3. Topping from the Bottom

This is when a sub attempts to exert their desires and demands onto their Dominant. It reverses the power exchange: the Master is instead performing a “dominance fantasy” according to the conditions of their submissive role-play leader. Hence, topping from the bottom. This is the worst form of selfishness. Now, you can have submissive desires. And especially with single session play, it is important to voice them to your Dominant. However, in power exchange, your role is to please your Alpha first and foremost. If you have desires, there is a correct way to communicate them. That is not topping from the bottom. So speak properly, humbly, and when in doubt defer to your Master. Don’t be a selfish twat.

4. Inability to Handle Drop

This is most applicable to financial domination, but applies to other intense forms of session play like pain certain sex play. Drop, or sub drop, is a form of guilt and regret that can be all-consuming after intense sessions. In the throes of submissive obedience, you may send more or suffer more than you expected. Some of your limits may be tested. This leads to a lurching depression for many who are new to the feeling. It is your responsibility to manage it. Many Alphas offer guidance, aftercare, and compassion. Some do not. It is not our job to be your therapist. I personally tend to do so, but it is wrong to expect it from your Dominant. This is an adult space, between consenting parties. Behave as such.

5. Jealousy

If I need to explain this one at length, you are the problem. Do not be jealous another sub is sending more, receiving more time with your Alpha, getting more attention in the chat. This is about Alpha pleasure. If you are envious of others, work harder & serve better to achieve those same goals. Better yet, find the maturity to realize that you should only measure yourself against your own servitude.

6. Submissive Poaching

This is a rare case, but does sometimes happen. Never poach other owned subs from another Master to come and serve your Alpha. This is the equivalent of an Alpha poaching a sub; it is no better and just as atrocious. If a sub is unhappy, that is between them and their Master to resolve. An owned dynamic (as defined on the site; not “grey/open” dynamics etc) should always be treated with utmost sanctity and respect. Even between owned subs.

7. Nuisance

Owned or new, don’t be a dick (or a little shit). There is a reason this is one of the tenets of the chat room, and it extends to private conversation. Don’t play dumb. Don’t be a brat, or rude. Many Masters will converse and dominate subs who have little to send, but speak soundly and offer entertaining banter. Don’t be a nuisance.

8. Over-investing

This is a two-parter, and both matter equally. Do not invest more financially here than you can afford. Doing so is on you if it happens. Never blame your Alpha for your own lack of self-control. Secondly, do not over-invest emotionally. Some Masters dominate with sexual overlap, and sometimes even romantic overlap. This is still kink in power exchange. Don’t let your M/s get messy. Don’t over-invest.

9. Deletion & Relapse

This isn’t even necessarily that annoying, it is just so predictable. Subs who can’t manage the above, generally are those who delete, and come back crawling under some new pseudonym. The relapsers. I suppose it helps that you pay a join fee each time you create an account here. Still, it’s transparent, and laughable. Best avoided if you hope to be a sub in good standing here among Alphas and your fellow subs.

10. Manipulation

The last point here is a broad stroke generalization for all the gaslighting, excuse-making, and other such vapid waste that subs spew in their squabbles with an Alpha. This isn’t a relationship of peers. This isn’t a negotiation. This is kink, submission, and servitude to your Master. We have heard it all, and we see your pathetic tricks coming a mile away. Save it. 

Avoid these my sweet pets if you do not want to be a toxic sub to your Master.

Serve well, and to my Dominant readers, stay powerful gents. Comments and questions, as always, are welcome.

Do not lose heart. Everything will be fine. happy New Year
Posted by Minotauro

I have never written in this place, however, I take the opportunity to do so. Undoubtedly, it is a date that takes us to another place, a place of closeness to ours and where we make a general balance on the path traveled, we seek to recognize ourselves in other ways and in this way to be better every day. They have been difficult times for humanity, but the fact of finding a community with ideologies related to mine has been the best thing that has happened to me during this 2021. As I have spoken with some fags, we are complement and we are here to create a balance , to share fantasies, fetishes and experience sensations that may become new to many. Beyond money, health matters and I know of several who, even though they are sick from the variants of this virus, continue to fight with the sole reason of providing the best of services, thanks to you, do not lose heart and be strong. Surrender to your alphas and give in without fear because you are giving your best every day, without your existence we would not exist either, so you are essential for this place. In this plane of reality there is much to learn and OF has been the possibility of going beyond, opening the mind and the senses to be receptive and expose ourselves without the fear of being judged. I am grateful for the constant growth and because I know that a year is ending, but the fags will continue to give their best. We all take care of each other. May 2022 come full of abundance, may there be increasingly juicy services and may they find every day a movement to make this reality the best of experiences. Surrender without remorse to those of us who have been to listen to you and to guide you on this path that sometimes becomes difficult. In order not to extend myself, I wish you a prosperous New Year and I wish that this community continues to expand to the most unknown places, I am sure that we will always be more.

My slavery
Posted by DoyourawOslo

Recently joined the site. As a Norwegian, masculine, dominating Master I prefer to treat my slaves harsh, firm but fairly. In my command U need to be willing to perform at my command within set boundaries. I am a serious Master and expect the same from my worthless slaves. I do not have time for timewasters. 

If you are in need for a filthy minded strict Master I allow you to send me a message with an initial request to become my slave. 

Posted by Fatdom4subpig

I am back, though still not full time. I had hoped to return with photographic evidence of my adventures offline, though sadly that wasn’t possible. Living where I do with the lack of privacy I suffer from, physical domination of fags is difficult to come by. That being said, I have had a few insights into furthering my experience in findom and online domination in general. I have decided that I am simply not assertive enough with faggots, particularly ca$hfags. So I will be overhauling my profile sometime soon (despite that I just edited it to clean up details) with new rules I expect you dumb bitches to follow. In keeping with this new attitude, I will endeavor to do my best at being more social on the site which includes occasionally talking in the chat room. As I am not overly social in crowds or group situations, this is for my own personal growth. 

All said and done, I am very happy to be back in a far more frequent capacity than I have been for the past several months. As a celebration of my return, I cordially invite any unowned fags to tip me as a homecoming gift. Owned fags may do so as well, provided your generous masters allow you to do so. It’s time to welcome me home you worthless bitches; I am coming for your wallets. Be grateful for the opportunity to pay my rent and feed my belly.

Who is Dr Donkey Dick
Posted by DrDonkeyDick

Why hello there and welcome!

I am Dr. Donkey Dick, a nickname affectionally gave to me by a super cute teen girl whom I stretched out nice and good with my monster cock. This is homage to the fact I have a humongous cock, and have a PhD. While I may have a gigantic cock, I am so much more! 

Back many years ago I was introduced to the kink world by a mature couple. They wanted a man with a large penis to have sex with wife. Naturally, I obliged and that started a beautiful journey of sexual release. Fast forward 15 years later, and I have turned into the monster I am.  

Kink Interests:
Flogging, spanking, caning, cash r**e, hucow, CBT,  creampies, bulling for cuck couples, figging, f****d orgasm, orgasm denial, CNC, r**e play, nudism amongst others. I'm super open, and love just about everything! Master can be a mean mother fucker and make people cry if I want.... 

Note* I am straight, but possibly bi-receptive for the most loyal servants. I certainly have been known to throat fuck a cuckold in front of his wife. 

Non Kink Interests- Travel, outdoors (hiking, fishing), comedy and concerts! Good food and company is all I need! 

Also note- I may be super friendly but I do not tolerate disrespectful assholes. I have a PhD, and an extremely lucrative job. I certainly don't need your money, and won't beg for it in any sort of way. I have an ongoing 4 year cashpig/hucow arrangement and just enjoy this lifestyle. 

New Year’s Eve community traditions
Posted by masterzal

There is a tradition dating back to the 1900s that EVERY single Spanish person observes on New Year’s Eve (NYE) at midnight.

People all over the country congregate around town halls, squares, and churches, or they turn on their TVs at home with a small pack of grapes with them (twelve, to be precise 🍇).

Each and every time that the town hall’s or the church’s bell tolls at 00:00 on the 1st January, we proceed to eat one of the grapes 🔔.

The twelve grapes represent the months of the calendar year. People make a wish as they eat each grape, which is meant to bring good luck for the coming year 📆.

Another tradition observed in NYE consists of wearing a piece of red underwear to bring good luck in love and sex life ❤️.

It is also common to toast with a glass of champagne at midnight and drop a piece of golden jewellery inside the glass for good luck in finances 💍🥂.

Of course, it has also become very common to set off fireworks at midnight, albeit this is a much wider spread custom globally (and pups are not very appreciative of it!)🎆.

Traditions like these are important because they provide a sense of belonging and community.

No matter what people’s personal circumstances are, the whole country comes together to perform these rituals in unison, and they somehow help bringing us together, which I think is beautiful.

Owned Fags is a place that also has the power of bringing people together as a community.

Take the time over the coming days to appreciate that and, if you are running out of ideas about how to strengthen that bond, feel free to use the exact same practices I described:

Send a basket of fruit, a glass of wine, or 120 tips to your Master to represent the grapes.

Open a bottle of champagne and drop some gold inside from the “premium” or the “jewellery” section for your Alpha.

Cover the newsfeed with jockstraps (they are not red, but needs must), and throw some confetti from the “miscellaneous” section instead of fireworks.

But overall, appreciate the company and time of your kinky peers, regardless of whether if you are a sub or a Dom, and have a wonderful 2022, my dearest deviants.

Posted by asianmasterj

Hey betas,

Let's see how this site goes, I heard good things. I am interested in helping subs explore various kinks. My time is valuable and requires tributes. I do skype sessions and text sessions. I prefer longterm submission, but welcome those losers that hide after a single session. There are many things to know about me. No nudity will be seen from me. Foot worship, h***o, and verbal content is my specialty. I have experience with full on power exchange and more. I offer fun ways of being drained through games and wheels, or old fashion drains too. Message me and lets take it from there. Approach properly. 

desperate faggot
Posted by Slavedogsam

Desperate dirty faggot pig desperate to get drained.  High and needing to be humiliated and dominated and drained tonight. Will anyone oblige this kinky faggot queer puff dog pig. It has been waiting available for service for ages for a real hot dominant  no nonsense master to deal with it.  Is anyone there to help this worthless faggot.  Want a dominant any colour any age any size any shape..... first come first served tonight. Will anyone come and command it to milk its cash cunt tonight.
Formal request from faggydicklet to join Master Zal's stable
Posted by faggydicklet

Sir, Master, 

faggydicklet is very excited as Master finally and generously gave faggot permission to send Master a formal request to join His stable. not so long ago faggot was without direction, lost, without any purpose in life, of no use, until December 25, when through a sign from above, or was it destiny, it found and on there was a Master who was from the beginning on outstanding, different from other Masters, kind, witty, firm, strict, intelligent, eloquent, visionary, a body of a God, a mind of a genious, a Master who knew how a fag's mind works. a fag whisperer, a genuine Alpha.

this Master offered guidance to faggot, so generously, selflessly allowed faggot to send gifts, gave faggot what it craved for most and that is to serve a real Man, a genuine Alpha. this Master gave faggot a perspective, guided it well through the site's features, played some games with faggot so it would learn how the site worked.   faggot could sense how lucky it was, how fortunate, that this Alpha was taking care of it so well, guiding it, starting to teach it manners, giving it a glimpse of why it is important to always be at Master's disposal, to work for His benefits, to make everything possible for His wellbeing, cause He deserves it all. Master gave it validation and that it is ok to be a faggot, cause it was born that way, destined to serve Alphas. 

Master took faggydicklet on probation to check if it can be loyal, honest, disciplined (not easy for a faggot), wouldn't allow it to serve for 24h, which was very hard, but faggy knew it had to give its best, make an extra effort for this gracious Master, cause He wouldn't allow faggot to be sloppy, complacent, let alone whoring around. Master had to punish faggot, and that was a good learning for faggot. faggot is immensely grateful to Master He made it realise and pay, only for its own benefits and that is to learn how to obey, be humble, bow and have only one thing in mind and that is to find ways how to serve Master even better.

the gift faggot gets in return is protection, security, guidance and a Master who helps it to manage its wallet, Master takes what is His anyway, for faggots shouldn't have to deal with tips nor money, that's a real Man's business. so Master kindly takes care of that. what faggot gets in return is purpose, meaning and what it craves for most and that is to be of use and serve, please and make Master happy. faggot's only purpose in life is to make sure Master is well, is happy, is served well.

and now faggot finally got permission to send a formal request to be allowed entrance into the holy faggot's grail and that is Master Zal's stable. Master, faggydicklet hereby formally, humbly requests to be accepted into Master's stable. it is not about faggot, Master doesn't need faggot. but faggot needs Master Zal. for He is perfect, skilled, intelligent, strong, powerful, strict, firm, kind, generous, protective, demanding, helping faggot to grow, to learn, to trust and to more and more live its true nature by challenging it, pushing it, helping it to grow, so faggot can more and more let go, give and hand over control and let Master decide, think for faggot and teach it how to be a perfect faggot, a real sub. Meant to serve, born to serve, happy to serve, for all that is on fag's mind is how to make Master happy, proud and happy. 

Master, it is just a faggot, not in the position to ask for anything, let alone ask such a divine, perfect Master for His permission to be granted entrance into His stable. so faggot is not requesting, not asking permission, no, faggot is begging Master to give it a chance, take this further, and let faggot prove to Master it is worthy of being in Master Zal's stable. it still needs to learn a lot, manners, submission, proper behavior, worthy of being allowed near such an outstanding, extraordinary Master (not sure if it will ever get there). 

faggot will give its best to support its fellow fags in the stable, listen and make them shine. above all, its main aim is to serve Master well, to be allowed to learn from such a perfect Alpha, to give in, hand over, serve. may it be a good faggot, honest, loyal, open, willing to learn, accepting that Master is in control, in charge, accepting that Master knows best, and does best, only for the sake that fag, one day, maybe, can be worthy of serving such a wonderful Master, perfect Master. 

Master, faggot is useless without Master, cannot exist without Master Zal. faggot is a faggot. faggot can be a whore, a slut, faggot is by far perfect. Master is perfect. faggot is weak, Master is strong. faggot is inferior. Master is superior. faggot is lost. Master is not just "a" Master, this Master is Master Zal. And Master Zal is faggot's destiny. May Master help faggot understand what it means to serve, show respect, humility, bow and always find pleasure in putting Master first. 

how proud faggot would be to be able to say: my Master. it is His faggot, His property, He is its owner, protector, mentor, guide, pimp.

Please Master, teach it how to beg properly, teach it how to serve perfectly, teach it how to be a true faggot.   thank you Master Zal   humbly awaiting His answer. accepting and understanding however His decision may be.

humbly yours, for now and ever,   faggydicklet      

Is FinDom a zero-sum game?
Posted by crcl2048

Note (and tl;dr): this blog post does adhere to Betteridge's Law. 

So I've been here for about a week now, and this is a topic I have been thinking about off and on. After an exciting conversation with Master Zal this morning (more on that in a minute), I decided to put it in blog form. 

First, a very brief refresher: what is a zero-sum game? It is a situation or scenario where the losses of one participant are offset in equal value by the gains of another. 

The syphon is an excellent example of a zero-sum game. As the tips are distributed randomly along the masters selected for participation, if one master receives a specific tip, no other masters can be awarded that tip, reducing the pool for the other participants. 

An example: if the syphon total is 500 tips and three masters (A, B, and C) are participating. Suppose master A receives 300 of the total 500 tips, this reduces the remaining pot for masters B and C to only 200. Master A's gain is B and C's loss. 

I have been thinking about if this concept applies to findom more broadly.

At a surface level (think freshman economics student level), you could make an argument that it does: if I tribute to master A, master B (or C, or D, etc.) doesn't get that tribute. 

The problem with this analysis is that for the game to be zero-sum, all participants must value the gains and losses equally, and all gains and losses must be offset exactly. 

This is the case if you look exclusively at the exchange of currency that takes place here (I'm helpfully ignoring the difference in perceived value of tips based on each individuals circumstances). But, as I mentioned at the start, that isn't the only thing taking place. 

Over the last few days, I have had the opportunity to talk with many masters and other slaves about various topics (both findom and sexual in nature, and not). 

With Master Zal, for example, our conversation ranged from the disappointing reality that is the new matrix movie, to why athletic wear is so attractive, to quantum mechanics (I'm Copenhagen, he's MWI), to psychology, to watersports, to cringe meal preparation and cooking puns. There have been currency exchanges involved there, but the conversation itself has been a gain on both sides, and therefore it can't be a zero-sum game. 

I have been surprised again and again by the amount of nuance and depth I've seen here over the last week or so, and my recommendation to anyone focused on the zero-sum nature of the currency exchange to take a step back, watch the new matrix movie, and then talk to me about their disappointments :)

I'm very happy to have found this community, and looking forward to future engagement. 


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